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should I go to the GP before trying for another baby

(7 Posts)
anon4this Tue 15-Mar-05 18:43:18

Not sure if this is the right thread for this - dithered between conception and pregnancy!

in short had a baby 18 months ago. There were some problems - he got stuck and was in respiratory distress so he was in special care for a week. I got PND,helped by the HV making me feel inadequate, felt forced to go to the GP, whoe referred me on - stayed off the meds though.

Feel fine now and am thinking about going for number 2. Thing is I don't know whether I should chat to the GP first about the likelihood of the same problem happening again at the birth, and whether I'd have to have an elective CS, I'm just a bit worried that if I go along he'll say that I shouldn't be trying again in case I get PND (although I dispute that's what I had), or he'll make the HV come and see me again.
I'm also not sure whether it would be wasting one of his appts and whether he can give me the info I need.

Any advice?

thanks

stitch Tue 15-Mar-05 18:48:32

if you want a baby, try for one, assuming no other problems that you havent mentioned.
i had pnd with number one and wth number three. a lot is to do with what support you have around youetc. good support, imo means that the baby blues dont develp into pnd. a difficult birth, special care for first baby, coupled with silly hv would drive anyone to pnd.
just go for it.

Tipex Tue 15-Mar-05 19:16:07

anon4this, first off never feel you are wasting an appointment, if you have things you wish to discuss then see your GP by all means. However, the issue of whether you would need/want an elective section this time based on baby getting stuck last time I guess would best be made once you are pregnant again unless you really feel the outcome of the discussion would affect your decision to have another child. PND is definately not a reason not to have another baby altho it would be worth getting lots of support antenatally and ensuring you are carefully watched and helped postnatally. You may find this time that all goes really well and you feel great after!! Wish you all the best in your decision xx

anon4this Tue 15-Mar-05 20:34:06

thanks
I think if I knew I would almost certainly have to have a CS then it would certainly affect my decision making on whether to go for number 2. I think I got very stressed last time as I perceived that i had "failed". I'm just concerned that I'd see, for me, a CS as another "failure".

I just don't know whether there is anything I should do before trying again (apart from staying off the donuts!). Not sure what practical advice the GP could give, also a bit worried that he'd think it was a bad idea. Also a bit worried that if I went to him after I got pregnant he'd think it was a bad idea!
Definitely think extra monitoring would make me feel worse. that's what stressed me last time round, all the extra HV visits. Wanted to tell her to get lost, but worried that they would think I had something to hide.
Suppose this is why I am dithering about going to GP. On one hand it may help me evaluate the potential risks to natural childbirth, on other it may get me "back in the system" and people will start trying to support me, although to me they'll be stresisng me out more.
Guess I'll have to dither a bit longer
thanks

Tipex Tue 15-Mar-05 21:20:08

I may be presuming wrongly but it sounds as if the main issue is that you havent really come to terms with your experience last time both of the labour and then of the issue of whether you had PND (I notice you feel you didnt but the health professionals came in a bit heavy handed). You could at least just ask your Gp for a bit of medical info regarding the birth itself ie what was the reason for baby getting stuck and therefore what is the likelihood of it happening again. Issues such as cephalopelvic disproportion ie small mum big babe may be the same in the future but sometimes things just happen in one labour for no fixed reason and may not be at risk again (IYSWIM!). Its a shame you would view an elecitive section as a failure if it were thought necessary. You certainly wouldnt be failing anyone and would merely be making the best decision based on your past history. Lots of women find elective sections to be really positive experiences. Secondly, regarding the input, unless anyone felt you or (future) babe to be at real risk then they can be politely told to butt out! You can choose to get support from wherever best for you ie frends, family and not a HV you dont click with. I'm sure she wasnt spying on you but it can feel like that cant it?! Again, if you have a supportive GP I would actually let him/her know how you felt about this.
How does your DP/H feel about it?

stitch Tue 15-Mar-05 21:34:32

get another health visitor!

anon4this Wed 16-Mar-05 19:30:16

luckily I've not seen the HV for months, and intend to keep it that way.
The shoulder got stuck during the birth (and I'm not small) and I understand some Drs then recommend an elective CS for another child. I know a CS is not a "failure", as a healthy baby is the most important thing, but deep down I know I would think it was a failure to me, and I suppose I'm worried I'd get stressed over it again.
DP thinks last time was extremely frightening, and he felt totally useless. He would go along with whatever the Drs recommended.

I think I may go and chat to the GP. The worst he can say is that I've wasted his appt time with something that's not an illness, or his area of expertise.

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