Smoking husband and co-sleeping with baby...a bit long, sorry!

[loopylula]

I know that it is a cardinal rule not to co-sleep with your baby if you or your partner is a smoker, and one which I wouldn't dream off breaking, but does anyone know why?

The reason I ask is because I co-slept with my DD when she was breastfeeding and it made my life so much easier, her birth happened to coincide with the only short period that my DH managed to quit cigs. His quitting didn't last long but long but it was long enough for my DD to start sleeping through so luckily there was no co-sleeping and smoking issue.

My problem now is that I am expecting in Feb and I don't think my DH is going to be off the fags at that point and I was considering buying him one of the Gamucci electronic cigarettes in an attempt to help him quit and possibly allow us to co-sleep with the baby. The trouble is I have heard conflicting reasons as to why smoking and co-sleeping are dangerous, some tell me its because smokers sleep differently and this creates a smothering risk and others say that its the chemicals in the smoke residue on their skin and breath that is the dangerous factor.

The thing with the Gamucci cigarette is it still puts nicotine into your system, as a patch would, and it is totally smoke free. So basically I am confused ? if its the smoke issue then the Gamucci would solve that and my DH could meet me half way, if its a sleep issue then may be the Gamucci is a waste of time?

I would love to be able to say that he would quit for our convenience and well-being and so would he but if anyone out there has been heavily addicted to fags you can understand that it ain't that simple and with a newborn the extra stress will make it near impossible for him. He started smoking again last time after my daughter spent 6 hours screaming her head off and we were both at our wits end.

[CaptainKarvol]

I'm not sure that they actually know, though I'd be inclined to guess that it's chemical/residue issue not the sleep quality.

A lot of these connections are links made looking at what has happened in real life - SIDS deaths in the children of smokers versus non smokers for example. Not from first scientific principles or lab studies. I haven't heard of any studies looking at NRT users and co-sleeping.

As it's your DH smoking, not you, even if it is about sleep quality in the smoker could you overcome that by being the one that sleeps next to baby?

I totally recognise what you're saying about the difficulty of quitting, BTW, but even without the co-sleeping issue it's a lot safer not to smoke around a newborn - would that help your DH to give it a go or not?

[loopylula]

Thanks CK, what you say makes total sense, that it is a statistical factor present in SIDS deaths. He goes to great pains to keep his smoke away from our DD, he never smokes inside the house or anywhere in sight and always washes his hands and face after he has had one.

I take your point about me being the one that sleeps next to the baby but when I switch boobs bubs will inevitable spend some time between us!

I am a little scared asking my HV or MW about the issue as, understandably, they have to stick to the guidelines at all times so I don't think I'll get an objective opinion.