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do you think this is physical or psychological?

(14 Posts)
maomao Thu 10-Mar-05 16:48:48

Not sure where to put this --- perhaps this should go in the "Nappies" section, but.... For the past three days or so, I have had difficulty changing my dd (21 months). She clearly says she doesn't want me to change her nappy, and she inevitably starts to cry and moan "nooo." Sometimes she says it hurts when I wipe her, but usually she just shrieks, "Stop! Stop!" She doesn't seem to have any nappy rash, as far as I can tell, and nothing seems inflamed or otherwise unusual. No sign of fever or illness of any sort, really, other than the normal sniffles.

Not sure what to make of this, really. She usually has a very high pain threshold, and so it's unusual to see her behave like this. Is this just because she's approaching two? Any thoughts or insight would be most helpful!

Twiglett Thu 10-Mar-05 16:51:15

if she's not normally like that then maybe something is sore? but I would be flumoxxed too if I couldn't see anything? does it sound like she's annoyed or in pain?

have you tried going back to cotton wool and water when wiping?

it might just be losing independence, ie you're making her lie down when she doesn't want to? maybe try pull-ups?

maomao Thu 10-Mar-05 17:01:24

Hmmm. what a good idea, Twiglett. I shall try the cotton wool and water when wiping. When I try matter-of-factly to figure out if something is sore, she gets upset and yells, "Nappy me up! Nappy me up!" Then I just try distraction and to touch her to see if anything seems sensitive, but I still can't figure it out.

I don't think it's a lying down issue. She also quite clearly doesn't like me to spread her legs, either. She gets so dramatic that if it were someone else's child, I would wonder whether she was being abused.

Twiglett Thu 10-Mar-05 17:05:45

sounds like she's getting more independent and is just really annoyed at being manhandled

it is extremely extremely early I know but you could see how she reacts to a potty?? personally I would wait till 2.5 but even just having one in the house, if she has the level of understanding, might be worth a shot

maomao Thu 10-Mar-05 17:17:53

Oh she freaks out at just the mention of the potty. I did think this might be the time to mention it, and she said, "No, no potty. Nappy."

I definitely don't want this to somehow wash over into negative potty training, so I dutifully put her in her nappy and try to be gentle when using the wipes and the cream.

BTW, I love the word "flumox" --- it's such a great word, and not one that we usually use in the States!

maomao Thu 10-Mar-05 22:24:49


SofiaAmes Thu 10-Mar-05 23:17:54

Sounds like approaching terrible two's to me. I toilet trained my dd (or should I say, she toilet trained herself) at around this age and she had just started shrieking when she needed to be changed. You might just want to try and use this as leverage to get your dd on the toilet. Failing that, how about getting some "special" new nappies that she wants to have on and therefore will be happy to be changed.

joash Thu 10-Mar-05 23:20:31

Gs has started this recently - just a phase that he's going through. If I can get his attention with something else, he's fine - otherwise we have a horrible performance.

maomao Fri 11-Mar-05 09:09:49

Thank you all so much for your replies!

Joash, how old is your DS?

Sofia and Twiglett, I think you are both on to something. I got a little step stool to climb on to get to the changing table, and that seemed to help alleviate some of the anxiety. Getting special nappies is a great idea as well. Sofia, at what age did your DS start chewing his food? DD has taken to swallowing things whole, and I recall that your DS did this!

SofiaAmes Fri 11-Mar-05 11:23:27

ds is 4.5 and still sucks his food whenever possible. I have to remind him to chew. He takes 45-60 min to eat a meal that everyone else finishes in 20 min. Though sometimes he does remember to chew, so I know he can do it. He's just got his mind on more important things....

morningpaper Fri 11-Mar-05 11:28:22

Have you changed your brand of nappy wipes? I tried some myself and they sting like *£$%!

I would second the potty-training idea or if she isn't interested in that, ask her if she just wants to go around without a nappy for a bit? Put some loose shorts on her or even nothing. You'll have to clean up the mess but a bit of air might help her bits if they are sore.

Also the fun-nappies worked well for my dd - elephants etc. all went down well.

mummylonglegs Fri 11-Mar-05 12:54:16

My dd started doing just this around the 2 year mark. She also did say she had a sore 'lulu' (dp's choice of word, I add, not mine!) but I never did find anything there. She goes nuts if I try to spread her legs. She's better now in general but won't let the childminder change her nappy and I am going to get on with potty training in the next few weeks I hope. She's 2.5 now.

maomao Fri 11-Mar-05 13:18:34

morningpaper, we have done a little of walking about without a nappy, but she seems to get very anxious about being without it. The wipes I use are supposed to be "sensitive" but perhaps I should look into that. Twiglett also had a great idea of going back to water and cotton wool, which made a great deal of sense.

Mummylonglegs, when will your DD turn 2? And do you just matter-of-factly continue changing her nappy despite the carrying on? My DD never really throws a fuss about anything else --- if she falls and scrapes herself, etc., she just gets up and brushes herself off. So this behavior has come as a surprise to me.

Everyone's suggestion that it's because she's approaching the terrible twos is reassuring to me, whilst simultaneously filling me with dread...

joash Fri 11-Mar-05 15:40:45

Sorry maomao only got a minute to respond - GS is 2 (& 2 months) - waiting until the wummer before trying to get him out of nappies.

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