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Painful sex. Advice please!!!

(20 Posts)
spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 00:37:52

Dd is nearly 5 months old. When I have sex it can be really uncomfortable. Missionary position is fine but anything that goes deep is horribly painful. It is definatly a pain inside rather on the outside. I went to the walkin centre and had a full STD check as my exp was a player and had cheated on me but that came back clear and the doc couldnt see a problem with anything.

Its starting to really bug me. I had issues with sex before I had kids in that I dont climax very easily. And now topped off with pain it makes sex a pretty rubiish experiance. I also find that I just dont get the sensation and feeling that I used to get before having dd. Its no way near as pleasurable and basicly im getting rather frustrated. Im not really sure what to do!

Help please!!! I miss good sex

blinks Thu 30-Oct-08 01:10:59

could be endometriosis...

zazen Thu 30-Oct-08 01:30:47

Wow Blinks that seems a bit extreme!

Did you have a vaginal births with your kids Spooky? Did you have a tear or a forceps delivery? You could have scarring in your vaginal wall that isn't as flexible as muscle and it can 'pull' and cause pain.

And have you had a physio check out your pelvic floor - you could be a bit goosey loosey blush down there if you haven't been doing your Kegels / pelvic floor exercises.

Try and get a referral from your GP to have physio - it could be nothing other than that you had your DD only 5 months ago, but it will help if you have scarring and loose muscles.
Pelvic floor exercises will help you amazingly throughout your life, as doing them makes sure you don't become incontinent when you're old!

HTH and good luck!

blinks Thu 30-Oct-08 09:01:21

<mystified> Why is that extreme zazen?

VaginaShmergina Thu 30-Oct-08 09:04:30

Endometriosis has many other indications blinks, I think that's why zazen thought your comment was extreme.

spooky, do you have issues with your periods at all ?

likessleep Thu 30-Oct-08 11:19:32

Are you breastfeeding?
I found sex painful for months and months (almost as if my DH was too big). Hurt a lot upon entry and gradually got to the point of being bearable.
I stopped b'feeding when DS was 11 months and since then, sex has got back to what it used to be, but took a bit of practice.
Mind you, I had ventouse/stitches, so I do also think it takes longer to heal than the '6 week' guidelines.
Not sure if this helps or not, but it may be a factor?

blinks Thu 30-Oct-08 16:00:35

i have endometriosis myself and it was the only symptom I had actually...

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 18:40:14

When I saw the doctor at the sexual health clinic he said I had endometriosis because I have always suffered from very painful periods. Im not bf. Dd is bottle fed. When I had ds last june I had a third degree tear but when I had sex afterwards it wasnt painful like it is now since having dd.
Im not very good at my pelvic floor exercises so perhaps it would be a good time to focus on doing them properly.

The pain is when were in positions that go deep IYSWIM. But its not as pleasureable either. meh.... my sex life sucks. Although my bf isnt very good in bed.... he doesnt listen to what I want so perhaps thats got something to do with it all.

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 18:41:06

Just to add he didnt mention that the endometriosis could also make sex painful so i didnt think to link to two.

Pitchounette Thu 30-Oct-08 18:58:40

Message withdrawn

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 19:22:10

how would they go about checking that Pitchounette ?

blinks Thu 30-Oct-08 20:00:36

it makes sex veeeeeeeeerrrrrry painful spooky... you need a laparoscopy to diagnose it and then you have a choice of treatments. It's a chronic condition so it never goes away completely but laser surgery can help enormously... maybe I wasn't being so dramatic after all (had to get that in, digdig).

FrightKnot Thu 30-Oct-08 20:11:37

I would agree with the otehrs about having some investigations for endometriosis.

I also have endo and I recognize your description of "deep" pain.

I have found in the past just making sure I am in a position where I can "control" things (without wanting to go into too much detail grin) helps.

Pitchounette Thu 30-Oct-08 20:32:41

Message withdrawn

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 21:26:44

Oh heck that sounds rather daunting. I havnt a clue what a Laparoscopy is. The pain during sex is becomin quite a big issue. Missionary is fine but anything that goes deeper is just unbearable. Its not exactly a stabbing pain. Have just seen that thing on enbaressing bodies about a woman who tore badly so perhaps it has something to do with that.

I think i need to see the doc and see if I can get refered to a gynocolagist. So sick of people looking at my foof. Just want things to go bk to normal.

solidgoldskullonastick Thu 30-Oct-08 21:29:19

I think you do need a referral to a gynaecologist, because none of us can really diagnose your foof online.
Sometimes having sex in certain different positions is helpful especially if the bloke has a big love truncheon and/or is a bit clumsy with it.

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 21:31:06

So do I just go to my doctor and ask for a referal?

Pitchounette Thu 30-Oct-08 21:32:25

Message withdrawn

spookycharlotte121 Thu 30-Oct-08 22:32:31

i will get an appointment next week then. thanks for the advice. i really appreciate it

zazen Sat 01-Nov-08 23:21:28

"Endometriosis has many other indications blinks, I think that's why zazen thought your comment was extreme" YEP, and I thought the diagnosis was a bit fast off the blocks without an investigation TBH!

OK so you have endo Spooky? Well sorry to hear that, but your GP should be able to refer you to a gynae and a physio also.
Both equally as important, especially if you have scars internally and have loose pelvis floor muscles.

best of luck with it smile hope your sex life perks up soon.

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