i rarely post on mn but i am so stressed about this i really need to get it off my chest. i am a wreck, shaking and shivering. sorry i will try to be as concise as possible. this is what happened to me last friday...
went out after work starting at 6pm, drank quite a lot (so did everyone else), no food, great time, got to about 11.30 and realised i was pretty drunk & wobbly and didn't need any more to drink so told a couple of colleagues and they helped me out to the cab rank (they were also v drunk) all my colleagues - i work for a very young company all aged 25 - 30 - stayed out til 2am, all very drunk. i am 29 btw and the only one with kids, not that that matters.
i remember being on the main road near my house having an argument, which is very unlike me - someone was being very aggressive and i was saying "stop! you'll kill me! i've got two little children!" that was at 1am. possibly because i had got into a cab without cash and asked the driver to stop at a cashpoint. (i did have cash and would have paid - it was payday, i had money and bank cards etc)
at 4am dp let me into our flat, he found me in the communal area with my jeans around my knees and covered in bruises and blood. turns out i have a broken cheekbone, cnojunctival haemmorhage, huge dark red black eye which is so swollen i can hardly open it, severe swelling and bruising - i look horrendous. nothing was missing / stolen.
feel so bad that my kids had to see me this way. i don't go out that often; this was a rare work night out, i had a great time in the bar and everyone says i was great fun and on good form. i remember snippets of being in the bar but have no idea what happened to me between 1 and 4am & i can't remember how i sustained these injuries. i have worked from home this week because i look so gross. my colleagues are really shocked. dp is disgusted with me and thinks it's all my fault, he hasn't been sympathetic at all, the opposite in fact.
have reported to police and they are looking for cctv footage but said that there is not really any evidence that there has been a crime. been to hospital and been x-rayed etc and have follow-up appt to drain blood from big swollen blood clot in cheek. also am in touch with victim support and am meeting one of their volunteers next week to chat for an hour.
i don't know how i feel about this. i feel so embarrassed and as though it's all my fault. i don't even know if i was attacked or not - maybe i just fell and hit my head and passed out for a bit. or maybe i was beaten and raped. i guess i'll need to do pregnancy & STD tests at some point - hopefully victim support can advise about this
i am so depressed (unlike me - i am ALWAYS happy) and feel like the worst mother in the world. plus i want dp to fall off a cliff, he's been horrid and abusive for a while and this feels like the final straw.
i have to go back into the office on monday & feel really self conscious (have been wearing sunglasses 24/7) and don't know how to answer when people ask what happened
any idea what i can do to help myself?
sorry for rambling
i'll be offline today as going out but will check back again when i can. any help really appreciated
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i think i was attacked. i was drunk & can't remember. not feeling great
116 replies
superfrenchie1 · 04/10/2008 11:45
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herbietea ·
04/10/2008 12:04
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kormachameleon ·
04/10/2008 13:32
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