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Don't know where to post, my grandad is dying.

(9 Posts)
DisenchantedPlusBump Thu 21-Aug-08 19:21:11

Hes been ill for a long while with other things including emphasemia (sp?) but we found out last week he has lung cancer.

The consultant rang today and told him that its in both lungs and lymphnodes and thats its un=operable and any chemo would be just to 'buy time' no get rid of it.

I've never been close to him, and that makes it worse.

I haven't seen hi, but will do tomorrow, I don't know what to say ... to do

I just keep crying.

What if he doesn't ever meet the baby???

DH is trying to be supportive but its hard for him.

His grandad had lukemia and pulled through it, and he thinks this might be the same..... but I know it won't.

Ive never lost anyone before.

I feel mostly for my mum, shes been through so much lately.

She deserves am medal, not this

DisenchantedPlusBump Thu 21-Aug-08 19:22:07

sorry about typos, blurry eyes

nickytwotimes Thu 21-Aug-08 19:24:02

It is so horrible to lose a loved one and to see other loved ones suffering too.
Would chemo make him more comfortable? I ask because even if it doesn't 'cure' him, it can help in some cases.

DisenchantedPlusBump Thu 21-Aug-08 19:35:32

i don't mean I don't love him when I say 'im not close to him'

I just mean Im not a touchy feely person and have never been good at that part of things unless its my mum or DH, so its hard for me to know what to do or say...

I don't want to go see him, but thats just my selfishness

I don't know if the chemo will help, I don't know much of anything at the moment. Just trying to get my head round it.

What the hell do I tell the kids??

Lomond Thu 21-Aug-08 19:41:15

I am so sorry, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer too and it was terrible sad

Even now, 7 years on I think about him every day and it breaks my heart that he won't ever see my two beautiful dds. I know they would have loved him very much.

When it does happen it takes a long time to get over the rawness of it but it does get easier, you will never forget him and little things will set you off again. There will be a time when you will think of him and remember the good times and smile.

Thinking of you and your family and wishing him some more pain free time with you all.

I know it must feel like no one is doing anything by him not getting treatment but my grandfather took the radiotherapy as he didn't want to believe there was no hope. The side effects from that made him have a terrible quality of life in his last few weeks and I know he regretted it.

Thinking of you xxx

CvQ Thu 21-Aug-08 19:42:13

disenchanted ive never lost anyone either so i really dont know what you can say to your children.but i am so sorry this is happening to you and your familysad
much love and strength to you all xx

nickytwotimes Thu 21-Aug-08 19:43:21

I can tell you love him from your op.

No one's good at it - you are normal.

It is painful and horrible to see someone in this situation. It is hard to know what to say. Sometimes you don't need to say anything, you just need to be present.

Also, you don't have to rush - give yourself a few days to work up to seeing him, if this is possible or desirable.

Tell the kids that your Grandad is poorly and take it from there as time goes by.

You are understandably overwhelmed at the moment. It's perfectly normal to ffeel panic.

DisenchantedPlusBump Sat 23-Aug-08 20:17:34


I just wanted to let you know I visited him the other day, it was the first time I had been to his new place and it was lovely, he really enjoyed having his great grandsons there, Im looking forward to going again.

I feel alot better for doing so, but still feel really about it all.

BecauseImWorthIt Sat 23-Aug-08 20:39:18

Sorry to hear your news. Make sure that you do what you can to enjoy the rest of the time that you have. sad

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