I am a single mum and very very stressesd. I only realise how bad I am when I stop to think about it which is not often.
This week the dcs are with their dad my ex dp. They left on Saturday and I have just been on the verge of tears ever since.
The main source of my stress is my ex dp - without boring you we have a bad realtionship. Since we separated last year he has gone out of his way to be as abusive and nasty and unsupportive as possible and I have got to the point where even if I see a leter on the doorset in is handwriting I feeel sick and shaky. We are currently going through court proceedings in relation to the dcs and finances and that is always at the back of my mind to the point that I am now waking up every night at about three am thinking about it and worrying about it.
I also have money/job worries.
Normally I struggle on though telling myself I am lucky to have three healthy dcs etc but I feel on the very very edge of losing complete control as I write. I feel very tearful and the slightest thing will set me off ranting or cyring.
I do have friend /family who are supportive but not many nearby.
I am ridden with guilt that I am not being the best mum I could be to my three dcs. I am all they have but I am so busy caring for their phyical needs that I can't give them the individual attention they need.
I shout at nmy eldest ds a lot - another guilt trip.
Please someone give me some advice - I want to get rid o gf the feelings of anger and bitterness I have folowing the breakdown of my relationship and also cope better with living day to day.
I don't think I am clinically depressed - I think that anyone woul feel depressed in my position and that no medication will get me a job/time/support etc. But maybe I should try ADs