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Please give me a rocket to stuff up my ass

(26 Posts)
HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 22:45:28

Yours faithfully

Constipated

DeeRiguer Sun 10-Aug-08 22:47:58

oh righto..
<passes rocket> do the rest yerself grin

dh used something in the past sachet from doctors, fibrogel i think thats it..i have uber healthy bowels blush
have you tried the usual loads and loads of water, dates prunes et al??

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 22:50:01

Eat very high fibre diet
Water i try to drink as much as i can
Prunes tried
Apricots tried

lazaroulovespastries Sun 10-Aug-08 22:50:34

coffee and a fag

blackcoffeenosugar Sun 10-Aug-08 22:50:40

Put some gloves on and ....

anorak Sun 10-Aug-08 22:51:55

Curry?

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 22:56:00

Tried curry

Coffee i can do and would love to have a fag(always worked before)but gave up 3 years ago

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 22:56:40

blackcoffee -Are you volunteering?grin

33k Sun 10-Aug-08 22:57:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeeRiguer Sun 10-Aug-08 23:01:36

yes a fag oughta do it

dont fancy one to get it shifting old times sake?
grin

blackcoffeenosugar Sun 10-Aug-08 23:01:47

tee hee... no

but I ended up calling the doc out when I was preggers because I was sooo bunged up it was doubling me up in pain... he left me some sterile gloves and told me to get on with it... painful as hell.. rather gross but it worked! LOL

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 23:01:59

yes i have heard all about their salad on food hygeine courses,dont fancy dysentry.

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 23:17:08

bump

Flocci Sun 10-Aug-08 23:20:25

seriously dull, but for the first time in about 15 years i am not constipated - I ahve pooed every day for over a week thanks to ......... a huge bowl of Dorset Cereal super high fibre muesli with some pure all-bran added, each day for breakfast or lunch. Doesn't taste too bad and the effect has been just amazing. I really have always had such problems with my bowels and this has made a massive difference.

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 23:21:13

ooh where do i buy that from then?

Flocci Sun 10-Aug-08 23:34:43

Tesco / Sainsburys / Waitrose definitely all have it - costs a freaking fortune but is worth it!

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 23:35:17

Thankyou

solidgoldbrass Sun 10-Aug-08 23:38:57

Would this help? WARNING WARNING do NOT click this link if you are easily shocked or offended or think that it's not nice to offer mischevious suggestions to poor bunged-up people.

HotTrouserCough Sun 10-Aug-08 23:51:47

O M F G

PussinJimmyChoos Sun 10-Aug-08 23:53:50

shock

Why just use it for cracks...grin

Flossyjim Mon 11-Aug-08 00:01:59

OMG They do truncheons too!!

lazaroulovespastries Mon 11-Aug-08 08:18:11

Why would anyone want a t-shirt telling everyone they stuff big plastic dildos up their bum?

I like the rocket

Flamesparrow Mon 11-Aug-08 08:20:36

shock

<squirms>

<ponders how sgb found that>

Bewilderbeast Mon 11-Aug-08 08:22:26

jesus christ that's huge

as a serious solution try lactulose

solidgoldbrass Mon 11-Aug-08 14:37:04

I believe you can still get glycerine suppositories which are supposed to be very effective: ask a pharmacist. (SGB making up for last night's flippancy with a genuine helpful suggestion grin)

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