ever so slightly embaressing fanjo & condom questions....

[whatcanitbe]

am a reg have changed for obv reasons.

2 things:-

1. had sex yesterday, condom came off - couldn't find it, not on bed/OH/anywhere, went to inspect in the loo I found nothing - what's the chances of it being so high up I couldn't feel it? also peeing is fine today so would I feel if it was up there?
   
   
2. whilst ahem, feeling around in there, I could feel some what can only be described as sacks, or cysts - basically lumps of flesh which felt a little like buttons, inside & up. tried to pull a little (wondered what they were) didn't hurt but are obviously attached.
   
   did wonder if it was as i'd had sex - but they were there this am as well. so any thoughts on what they are? they don't hurt at all. sex doesn't hurt. always have protected sex. (apart from once at the start of the year)
   
   am going to try and go to the clinic this week, but really am worried about what I may have caught (if anything)
   
   also not sure if it's relevant or not, but every month around AF time I have a small lump (pea sized) under the skin on the outside (as in the front) gets a bit red, then goes back down again - feels almost like a vein or something.
   
   Any thoughts?

[Ewe]

I think you need to get yourself to the doctors, tomorrow, it can be dangerous if it is stuck up there and perfectly plausible.

Also, the second thing def needs checking out too. Phone in the morning!!

[Carmenere]

If the condom is missing it is probably inside you (have a search for the the pouch of douglas on here)

[expatinscotland]

if you can't face going to see your GP, ask for the practice nurse or see your local family planning clinic or sexual health clinic.

[S1ur]

Cor Blimey love!

First off I think you need to locate that condom. As a matter of urgency. Either you want to avoid it being found by a visiting guest attached to the lampshade or you don't want it lingering up your fanjo. Have another good root about. And make that appt with clinic - be honest (at worst you're a anecdote down the pub and you are checked out and safe.)

The odd things you can feel. hmm, fark I dunno, could be skin tags and nothing could be something, if you have concerns though I would get it checked.

Protuding at front at menstruation. I suspect piles there is an increase in blood flow round then and that would make piles more obvious.

Basically, sorry but you are going to have to consult someone like a gp or pref a gyny and brass it out however embarrassing.

Oh but do have another look for that condom won't cha?

[whatcanitbe]

oh dear, my doctors is a little hard to book into, & I have DS as well, with no one to look after him until Thursday.

would I really be able to pee etc etc if it was still inside me? god this is so embarrassing.

ok next question, can I go to the family planning clinic for this all and to be fully tested for STI's - or does it have to be the GM clinic?

[PeaMcLean]

Too late to be searching . WTF's the pouch of douglas???

[expatinscotland]

you'd still be able to pee just fine if it's inside you because it would be in your vagina and not your urethra, where your urine exits your body.

some trusts have FPCs, some have GMs, others have just a day for sexual health issues.

our sexual health clinic is walk-in, so you could just come by, even with your child, to at least get someone to have a peek and see if the condom is in your vagina and then you could come back for STI testing.

[expatinscotland]

don't be embarrassed!

anyone who works in sexual health has seen this more than once and you won't be the last.

[whatcanitbe]

hmm - condom wasn't outside anywhere - not on the bed, floor, OH, walls - lamp shades etc!

it has to be in me doesn't it?? how high up does it have to be that I can't feel it? i'm in no discomfort at all.

shitty shitty shitting hell.

and here's the next one - he didn't come but I seem to 'catch' very easily, I have no idea where I am in my cycle. MAP doesn't seem to work for me. slim chances that i'd be PG right??

SHITTY SHITTY SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! ffs!

I'm NEVER having sex again. NEVER!!

[PeaMcLean]

What time yesterday? How long for morning after pill?

[expatinscotland]

it can escape into a small area of your vagina where it meets your cervix.

but really, a nurse can have a peek and get it out very easily if it's there.

[PeaMcLean]

Sorry, you've just mentioned MAP.

[whatcanitbe]

what's the best position to have a rummage about? (ie stood/laying down)

god if you recognise me please don't say

also yesterday looked immediately and used a mirror as well - for what I could see and still nothing.

[whatcanitbe]

was about 7pm yesterday. (to be exact.)

going to suck it up I think and go to the clinic tomorrow drop in - & hope/pray they have toys etc for DS.

[Bowddee]

"oh dear, my doctors is a little hard to book into, & I have DS as well, with no one to look after him until Thursday."

Hmm, I think if it were me I would have to batter DH in to looking after DS while I got it sorted.
Some things are a little too important to leave. And he is equally responsible for the situation.

[whatcanitbe]

without giving too much away am on my own.

[S1ur]

I would go to clinic and get it done. It'll be awkward, then fine, then over.

Before I would lie on back legs up and get dp to have a look. He'll get a better angle on it.

Fraid sperm escaping a possibilty so worth precautions imo.

what a bugger for you.

[whatcanitbe]

asked him to slur - he even had a little torch but wasn't impressed by the suggestion!

[S1ur]

ah xposts. forget the dp looking bit.

All the more reason for a professional to have a gander. It is hard to get a good look yourself. Even if you are very flexible and have extraordinary long fingers.

Honest, this will NOT be the first time someone came into them and said I think I lost a condom in my vagina.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Okay, um, no delicate way to give advice on this one but try squatting or sitting on the loo and bearing down, then having another feel around down there, as your vagina will be shorter and you should be able to feel around the cervix (fgs be gentle, no sharp nails etc)

If it isn't there, think of the most embarassing place you could find it in, it'll be there. You know, stuck to the front of your handbag so you only notice on the tube when people are sniggering, or somewhere really obvious in your room that you will only notice after your mum has visited.

[S1ur]

pah, why not impressed? gah, numpty. sex is messy and intimate no time for prissyness

He should have riseen to challenge, hey ho get a woman in there she'll sort you out and advise about contrception.

[Bowddee]

That's a bit of a bugger really.
But you do need to get it checked. Do you think a Morning After Pill would be a good idea too?
I can't really think of anything useful to say.
Sorry.

[S1ur]

trouble is, also depends on you a bit. some women have long distances between vaginal opening and cervix, others shorter.

Try squatting but still go to drop in.

good luck.

[Sidge]

Ask to see the practice nurse. She can have a good look and will have the necessary equipment to remove it. Condoms (and tampons) can get 'lost' up the side of the cervix. Hard for you to find but easy enough for us to remove.

The sacs/cysts you describe could be the pouchy folds of skin in the vagina (very few women have smooth vaginal walls, especially after childbirth). But they could also be skin tags, warts or blisters - the nurse should be able to check when she's in there (as it were!)

The third thing could be a varicosity (swollen vein) or it may be your Bartholin's Gland swelling up. If it doesn't hurt and doesn't bother you then leave it alone.

I hope you find the condom - and yes the MAP may be a good idea - best taken within 72 hours of sex, the sooner the better.

[whatcanitbe]

THANK YOU JAMES OMG THANK YOU

am so relieved I could kiss you!

ahem the offending item has been removed.

so that's one thing sorted out. thank you thank you thank you.

now for the others - feel oddly less bloated as well now.

do you think the other things can wait until Thursday or not really? (would rather get that bit done when I don't have DS as the 'emergancy of the missing condom' is now solved.)