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anyone mums who lives abroad

(17 Posts)
biglips Thu 13-Jan-05 15:40:59

as my mum and her fella moved to france the day after my baba was born (bad timing but she had planned it for 3 yrs and found a place to live) and then she came back a week later to stay for another 4 weeks and been in france since baba was 8 weeks old - she is now 15 wks old and i do wish mum was here... . Everytime i get a letter from her she always asking about baba (as its her first grandchild) and she feels she is missing out on seeing baba growing up.

i dont missed her that much even though im very close to mum but im glad that im with DP as if i was on my own, i be in pieces

spacedonkey Thu 13-Jan-05 15:43:05

My mum lives in italy and I miss her lots, although it's wonderful to be able to visit her there. I know how you feel (it must be especially hard with a baby - my kids are much older) - but there are advantages ... cheap holidays in france with granny for instance!

biglips Thu 13-Jan-05 15:47:19

oh yeah i know thats the highlights of it having cheap hols in france. when i told her i was preg a year ago she was over the moon but sad as she already bought a house in france (a shell house at the mo but they are doing it all up) and i told mum to still go to france, i told DP that i want mum to go but same time wants her to stay, as i didnt want mum to think "what if!" for the rest of her life..

spacedonkey Thu 13-Jan-05 15:49:06

Yep I can identify with that feeling. I'm so pleased for my mum that she's there, but on a selfish level I wish she was here. I think I'd feel that much more strongly if I had just had a baby. Do you have room for her to come back for extended stays with you?

KateandtheGirls Thu 13-Jan-05 15:50:34

My mum (in fact my whole family) lives 4000 miles away. It is hard, but it's easier these days then it was 10 years ago, with email, digital cameras (I can email pictures that were taken minutes ago), etc.

spacedonkey Thu 13-Jan-05 15:51:17

Yes, MSN is a great way of getting together for a virtual chat!

biglips Thu 13-Jan-05 15:51:39

oh yeah as we live a big house.. cant wait for her to see baba again as i do send piccys to mum and letters and once her house is done, she is having her computer/ internet back on. i bought her a webcam with microphone for xmas and weve got one too so we can talk to each other, so i will feel closer then but its the waiting bit to get her computer on

redsky Thu 13-Jan-05 16:03:03

i miss my mum too. i came to uk over 20 years ago from australia and really missed mum once I had children. ds and dd also really miss regular contact with gps but my mum has always gone to enormous effort to establish close relationship with both ds and dd. she writes brilliant letters and even tho she's not wealthy she sends little token pressies (like a hanky!) that they really cherish. My sister has had years of full time childcare for her boys but now it is payback time as mum and dad are aged 88 and 89 and tho still pretty fit and active will undoubtedly need more care in time. Makes me feel guilty that I have left my sis with this situation, but she says she doesn't resent me leaving Aus - it never occurred to me 20 years ago that my parents would one day be old and may need me! How selfish is that???
One big positive - fantastic holidays when we visit them.

tarantula Thu 13-Jan-05 16:30:00

All the rest of my family is in Ireland and I miss them very much. esp now with dd. I think she is missing out on her gps and all her aunties and Uncles. Still they spoil her rotten when they see her and its fun to have them to visit too. The other up side is getting lovely pressies thro the post but the big downside is that they arent there to babysit.
My mum is really upset that she is missing out on dd growing up tho I update our website with pictures all the time.
and any hints to move home have gone down like a lead balloon with dp Both of us would have to laearn to drive for a start

biglips Sun 16-Jan-05 11:55:42


Mimsie Sun 16-Jan-05 12:22:50

I miss my mum and my whole family at times, I moved to england about 10 years ago (from France). I never missed them until I had my son...

Since then she has been visiting every summer for a whole month which allowed her to keep in touch and see my child grow.

To make matters worse my husband family is in London and we live in Liverpool. I got on great with his mum but she since passed away (4 years ago this march).

On the positive side my mum is taking early retirement and beloved ryanair is opening a Liverpool-Nimes route in april so it'll be really cheap for her to fly over, and for me to go and visit her.

Everyone is asking me why I havent got another child yet, my son is turning 5. But I have no family support around whatsoever. I dearly envy people who can just ring their mum to look after the lil ones for one hour, or to leave them for an overnight and have a night out with hubby!! We've been invited to a party in feb and I really want us to go, but it means an overnight sitter and that's a luxury I seldom have!! am going to try and ask one of the school mum, I have bonded with a few but I feel awkward! Still it's better than when I knew noone living close by!

I havent got the strenght to start all over again!!

mmm I am sorry to be of no help at all for you, I have just been ranting away and feeling sorry for myself. We are happy don't get me wrong, just v. limited, and the phone bills are scary!!

biglips Sun 16-Jan-05 12:28:37

no i do understand as this thread is for anyone to talk aboout it - im from liverpool too

Mimsie Sun 16-Jan-05 15:27:47

hey fancy having a sleepover in feb

biglips Sun 16-Jan-05 19:00:35

how you mean?

Hausfrau Sun 16-Jan-05 19:56:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biglips Wed 19-Jan-05 11:20:33


biglips Thu 20-Jan-05 19:45:55


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