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A follow on thread ...

(240 Posts)
Festivepussy Sat 11-Dec-04 23:54:22

here for the fag free few!

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 20:05:16

Hi i'm here now, but are you lot still on the old one?!!

as for god, ds1 has as i had predicted, turned out to be one of those kids you used ot look at before you had your own and said 'my kids are never going to be like that!'

he has tantrums probably at least once a day and as soon as i put him outside the room or smack (sorry girls i'm a smacker) him, he asks for a cuddle but then just goes back to screaming if he can't get what he wants he had a fit in waitrose one day and it was v. embarressing as he kept kicking his shoe off and even threw his beloved rabbit onto the floor all for the sake of wanting ot eat his Pingu biscuit immediately without waiting to checkout.

off for dinner now! (dh is standing over me)

Festivepussy Sun 12-Dec-04 21:12:05

MM...i would have let him eat the biccy before the checkout!
Its nasty isnt it? My dd, the 7 year old never tantrums in public, only ever in these 4 walls.
To the outside world shes Miss Prim and Proper wouldnt do a thing wrong silent queen.
In here shes good, but she is so bloody arrogant and rude sometimes I could throw her over the room!!!!!
I have smacked too and actually batted dd (gently) round the head today for grunting instead of speaking but it doesnt work it just makes them cry longer and makes you look like an idiot when you try and tell them off for not hitting each other
The best thing is to ignore it and them. Which isnt easy when they wont stay in the one room and follow you around shouting at you(thats what dd used to do) but you cant keep screaming and shouting if theres noone throwing wood at the flames.
With dd2 I have seen it all before so she has been took out with no shoes on, etcetc as its just not worth the hassle. Snort at myself. With her its just a case of "We havent got time for a tantrum...we are now going" Draggggggg out the door. Works pretty effectivly though!!!

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 21:26:23

Sorry, I didn't see this one, I don't know why seeing as you put the link onto the old one ...

So when did your little darlings start tantrumming really badly then? And when you say 'tantrum' you mean those total melt-down screaming bashing fist kind of episodes that go on more than 10 mins? Dd's started getting a 'temper' in that she now gets increasingly frustrated with things she can't do and will bash her fists on whatever's near but it's literally over in a second and she doesn't really cry. Is that the start do you think?

Urg ... I feel so sick tonight. I hope I'm not coming down with something.

What you all done today then?

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:35:07

well ds1's tantrums started only a couple of months ago so he was really heading for the twos! he's a stubborn mite to begin with but these days, even if i ignore him (which i can't always because he starts scratching a)because he's hot from anger b) because he feels like it) he just goes on and on for what has been at the most so far probably 20mins. cannot bear anymore than that so we have a 'talk' and he ends up calming down.

i normally let him have the biccie fp, but that day was a speed shop just a few things and i thought it was ridiculous that he couldn't wait so decided to teach him he'd have to! guess who ended up looking idiotic AND i had to walk past the bloody kiosk on the way out, twitching for a packet of fags!!!

jenni, i read all your posts with fp and feel so sorry for you and your situation. i'm sorry i can't offer you any advice but i hope i can lend an ear whenever you're feeling low about it all. BIG BIG HUGS.

thanks for the fb fp (smile)

fionagib Sun 12-Dec-04 21:35:39

Hi folks, so sorry about long absense! (well it FEELS long)... well done all on not cracking, and mammya, pls don't give yourself a big hard time over your tiddly little joints...

still on the wagon fag wise, 971 not smoked - have found it v v hard tho with dh puffing away in kitchen in front of me. Read yr posts about housework and dh's not helping and god could I identify! Things HAVE got better this last year or so - but before that I was buckling under the strain of it and was a fizzing ball of resentment and anger.

These days I ask him to do stuff, and refuse to pick up his dirty clothes etc or wash them if they're not in linen basket... he used to come home from work and sit on sofa, gently dozing, while I picked up about 50 toys, cooked, washed up... I used to think he was conducting a secret experiement to see how far he could push me before I exploded. I used to be clearing up in tears. Things are better now thank f*.

Am really overloaded with work so feel a bit stressed, really needing xmas break.

yeah you're right fp - best to ignore tantrums. dd had them bad, but they've subsided now - I used to just step over her writhing body. Boys have been bl**dy hard work today - took them to a fair in edinburgh (dh out xmas shopping), and as soon as we got home it was fight fight fight and dd in tears. Playstation ban till friday. Ungrateful wee tykes!!

gonna have big glass of wine & attempt to switch work head on.... oh yeah jenni, poor you, you sound so overloaded... gonna check out your thread, take it easy xxxxx ps had the off cig (maybe 1 a day) when pg with dd, mostly stopped with boys - wouldn't have dared do it in public.

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:37:18

what colour are you painting your bathroom fp?

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:38:06

when do you 'break' for xmas fg, do you have a cut-off date for yourself, if not you should!

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:39:29

oh and 971 - that's brilliant!!!

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 21:46:22

What date was your Ds1 born, Mm? Dd was 10 October, 02. I've got a feeling they're close in age?

I read Jenni's thread too. And I know so much what you mean, fg, about doing stuff almost in tears while the male half 'relaxes.' It's so infuriating. I don't want to nag him all the time, I just want him to know to do it. It's amazing how easily you can become a bit of a doormat isn't it?

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 21:48:43

If fg's like my dp who also writes for his living there is not cut-off point! Dp works morning, noon and night. AND weekends. And will probably have to be dragged kicking and screaming from his lap top for Christmas lunch at his mothers ...

Not saying you're like that fg , but just the nature of that kind of work.

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:50:02

ds1's birthday is 22/11/02 so not there's not much in it. how is dd's cough now btw, you haven't mentioned since your day off! oh and what was 'birth' about and any good?

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 21:51:36

i know, i've always wanted to be a writer but that's out of the question with my little family to get all tired about it was hard enough pre-children - how fg does it i don't know!!

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 21:59:14

Ah, so my dd's a mature lady then! Her cough's up and down mm, thanks for asking. On Friday night she slept all night with no coughing fits and I thought 'phew ... it's over!!' then she coughed so much on Saturday at nap time that she couldn't sleep and last night was pretty dire and today's nap a mess too. I do think generally it IS better than it was though. She also coughs a lot on the slightest little bits of exertion.

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 22:01:04

Urg, I know it's rubbish, but I'm off to bed even earlier than usual. I really feel grotty.

See you all tomorrow I hope!

Sleep tight xxx

bluemoon Sun 12-Dec-04 22:01:49

p.s. fp, did you follow what happened to that fairyfly post from last night? Just before I went to bed it seemed to be getting quite out of hand ...

merryminkmama Sun 12-Dec-04 22:06:01

oh yeah, what was that about? by the time i had a look it had been deleted!!

night night bm xx

Festivepussy Sun 12-Dec-04 23:17:59

Hmmm well it started off by being called single parents are a drain on society so of course everyone jumped up and down and the Original poster didnt comment then 9 mins latrer they said something like get off your moral high horse...or something so of course MN folks were like WHHAATT...and hour or so later the Original poster opened up another thrad something about sexual assualt drain on socielty and so it went on and on a dn on, people saying they were upset and if it wasnt for the fact it was a regular poster they would have been hounded off bla bla bla...I just thought if it wasnt friday night and we werent all sirtting here with nothing better to do it would have died on the first post completely ignored.

Anyway...bathroom from nice warm yellow to chilly blue. Its hideous but its done now LOL Ill send you a piccy when ive done it
Going to bed now xx

bluemoon Mon 13-Dec-04 10:16:09

Morning everyone.

Yes do send a picture of your bathroom fp! Where about's do you live again? I know it's somewhere way down on one of the other threads and I'll remember as soon as you tell me.

Should we post up some Christmas pictures of us all? I'm still strangely keen to see what you guys look like now I've seen the divine visage of MM and kids!

Festivepussy Mon 13-Dec-04 11:16:22

Christmas pictures??? WWOOOOhhh neddy! I have some piccys of mostly my dds and here we are...
I live in Kent BTW. Ive just added a couple more piccys to my lot. Old ones except for one at Tanyas Nativity.
Im going to try and write out my chrissy cards year IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS for the over 14s.

Festivepussy Mon 13-Dec-04 11:17:38

OMG my whole albums are coming up as cannot be displayed....will try and sort this....

Festivepussy Mon 13-Dec-04 11:42:49

Right...we should be here

merryminkmama Mon 13-Dec-04 12:05:55

aren't they all lovely bm? i especially love the one of your dp and is it tasha with him?

am freezing my a*se off's all frosty and the ch is cranked right up!

i forgot to ask mammya whether or not you'll be spending xmas here or going home to see your mum and dad?

and i also forgot to ask fg whether or not she had to pick out bits from the plughole after a friend vomited into our sink once when we lived in a flat and had a christmas party and then tried to wash it down - naturally it was blocked and the next morning we had to put rubber gloves on and dig at it...URGGGGHHHHH!!!
Wasn't disgusted at your antics at all fg, in fact rather envious that you could still have such a wild time

might go out and get some more xmas tree decorations as we've moved the tree and now you can see 3/4 of it rather than 1/2 so there's a big gap where there are no decorations!

have you lot all done yours?

merryminkmama Mon 13-Dec-04 12:06:15

oh and where are your piccies bm?!!!

merryminkmama Mon 13-Dec-04 12:07:09

bm, try using some of the oil on yourself, it may not be strong enough for adults, but give it a go.

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