AIBU to tell Doctor about DH's family medical history?

(7 Posts)
Kateguide Thu 11-Feb-21 14:07:40

Hello I was hoping that someone may have been in a similar position or work in a GPs surgery and able to give me practical advice.

Myself and DH are both in our 40s and healthy, haven't had the need to go and see our Dr about anything in at least 2 years.

In the last year, 2 of DH's relatives (mum and uncle) have died from cancer. His uncle 4 weeks after diagnosis with pancreatic cancer; his mum after a long horrid battle - lung, breast, liver and bone - it was awful, she was 65 (her twin sister died of breast cancer at 55).

Through these tragic deaths it transpired that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, on MIL side of the family has died from cancer going back quite a few generations. I really want this on my DH medical notes. If he ever goes into the Dr with an ache or pain, I want them to see how prevalent cancer is on his mother's side of the family.

DH has been pretty laid back and when he goes to the Dr it's usually me pushing him through the door. If he was to tell the Dr, I am sure he would 'play it down' in a typically British way.

Am I able to ring up the Dr or surgery and ask them to put this information in his notes? Any advice on this would be deeply appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Gliblet Thu 11-Feb-21 14:11:54

Is your DH in denial about any of this? Is there any reason to think he wouldn't volunteer the information if asked?

In my experience if you go to the GP about a lump or similar you get asked a fairly thorough set of questions about your family's medical history whether you're relatively calm or not.

CoffeeRunner Thu 11-Feb-21 14:14:12

Is there a history of cancer being diagnosed at a young age?

My family history is the same & Drs are largely uninterested as the recent ones (my mum & dad) were both over the age of 60 (just) at diagnosis. Both parents were only children so no aunts & uncles to know about.

All other family members have been dismissed as too far away to count. My grandmother (who herself died of breast cancer) was an identical twin. Her twin sister died of cervical cancer at 45 & her daughter (mum’s first cousin) of breast cancer at 49. Her daughter, in turn, had breast cancer at 50. However this does not count as my family history apparently.

Kateguide Thu 11-Feb-21 14:28:59

@Gliblet no he's not in denial. You can't really argue that his mother's side of the family have never lived beyond 65 and have all died from cancer.
He always downplays things, doesn't want to cause a fuss, which is fine for certain things but not his health.

@CoffeeRunner no cancer at a young age - all around 50s / 60s. There sounds like there's a fair bit of cancer in your family as well. It's so strange that they don't think it's relevant

OP’s posts: |
TabbyStar Thu 11-Feb-21 19:45:28

* However this does not count as my family history apparently.*

I have something that I inherited from my DF, it could kill me suddenly, but my DD can't be scanned for it because she has to have two immediate relatives with it, as she has no siblings her DF would have to have it too, but as it's inherited through my family line, what would be the point of that? I guess there's some logic in there somewhere but it's difficult to understand what!

OP would your DH not tell you at the time if there was anything going on that he needed to see the doctor about? Though I wonder whether there's any extra screening he might be entitled to based on family history.

Torvean Sat 13-Feb-21 00:14:14

Your husband should do that himself.

Embracelife Sat 13-Feb-21 10:44:09

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/caring-carers-and-long-term-conditions/can-i-speak-to-a-gp-about-someone-elses-health/

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