I'm 47. I've not been to a dentist in four years.
My teeth are prone to plaque but generally are OK so I tended to only go to my lovely, calm, reassuring NHS dentist every year, also, because I have a fear of the dentist and a deep shame of my gums (which I explain below) . I'm also a very anxious person with various anxieties.
My gums on the other hand are a nightmare and I have suffered from gum disease for a long time.
There was a time around five years ago that I was determined to tackle my gums. I saw the hygienist every three months, such were the state of my gums. However, the hygienist was private only, and it was costing around £100 each time which we couldn't afford.
So I stopped going to both the hygienist and dentist. The longer I left it, the worse my gums felt, my teeth had a large build up of tartar and I was deeply embarrassed. I have been brushing twice daily. Part of my fear stems from the thought of a needle in my very thin gums, the longer I leave it, the thinner the gums become.
Last Thursday my toothache started. I called my dentist, but as I'd not been in so long I could no longer be treated as an NHS patient, which is fair enough of course!
I booked an appointment as a private patient and was seen today by a dentist I've never seen before.
When I arrived, the dentist asked why I hadn't been for four years. I explained that I have a bit of a fear, am a very anxious person, and time elapsed. I apologised profusely. I said "I have a fear of the dentist". He said "so do I, but you must go!"
When I opened my mouth, he gasped. He said "your gums are terrible!" I said "I know, I'm sorry" I wanted to cry. My gums are bad, I know this. My teeth have lots of plaque.
He then quizzed me about my diet, as I had put on the medical form that I do eat chocolate. He asked me why a person with a fear of the dentist would eat chocolate and sweets. I could only reply "I'm anxious. It's that or antidepressants". This is not a joke by the way, my mental health is shot, but have not wanted to bother my GP since Covid started.
After the X-ray he said he'd identified a top wisdom tooth with a large cavity that needs to come out. When I enquired if I could have this out under sedation at the dental hospital like a previous wisdom tooth, he laughed and said "No. They wouldn't accept the referral"
I then asked about the pain I'm experiencing and he said he couldn't prescribe any antibiotics as my gums were so bad they might cause an abscess.
He says he won't touch the tooth til he's cleaned it, other teeth and my gums, over a number of sessions. He said my teeth aren't too bad but given my age, this will not last.
He gave me a schedule and a price list and I said I'd think about my options. I was in a bit of shock to be honest and just wanted to escape.
I left feeling even more ashamed and disheartened. I don't know what to do.
Am I overreacting? He did say to me he was very direct. Should I find a different dentist (but then have to start from scratch?).
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Dentist anxiety - new dentist made me feel lousy, but maybe I deserve it
21 replies
middleager · 23/12/2020 22:45
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