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16 yr old is terrified of going to the GP

(22 Posts)
Unpolularopinion Mon 15-Jun-20 13:10:51

He’s had ongoing issues with his waterworks and boy bits since September. Struggling to pee etc.
They’ve done a urine test and that came back clear, so they want to see him tomorrow to have look what’s going on.
He’s so anxious about it. He’s an anxious lad anyway, but this has tipped him over the edge.
He says he’s embarrassed and does t want the doctor lo look there. But I’ve explained that they see this sort of thing every day, and they really don’t give it a second thought!
Any advice on how I can further reassure him/persuade him to let the doctor look??

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Unpolularopinion Mon 15-Jun-20 14:53:34

Bump

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fudgesmummy Mon 15-Jun-20 16:52:15

No experience or advice to add, but just came onto say poor lad. I imagine how scary and embarrassing it must feel, I'm 54 and had lots of gynochology problems last year and I was embarrassed by it all.
Have asked him if he would rather see a male doctor? (if possible in your practice of course) is he worried it's going to be a female doctor?

Unpolularopinion Mon 15-Jun-20 20:21:31

Thanks for your reply. I used to feel weird about anything below the waist. But 3 children later, not much phases me. I feel so sorry for him. Trying to reassure him that they’re not bothered about his bits! They just want to make him better. I’m expecting tears from him tomorrow

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Tanfastic Mon 15-Jun-20 21:33:58

Oh poor love, I imagine my lad would be the same 🙁

DisobedientHamster Mon 15-Jun-20 21:38:39

He can request only male staff if it helps his anxiety, just as women can.

DisobedientHamster Mon 15-Jun-20 21:41:33

Trying to reassure him that they’re not bothered about his bits!

This would have rubbed me entirely the wrong way at this age, it's minimising and patronising. I'd instead have asked what exactly the plan is as far as exams and have them speak to him about that rather than 'they've seen it all before'. That may be true, but they haven't seen his bits.

Elouera Mon 15-Jun-20 21:43:54

Is he worried that you will be going into the surgery with him? Other than requesting a male GP, maybe if you wait outside, it might ease his anxiety.

He might have balanitis, thrush, an infection or tightened foreskin (if applicable) which can all cause great anxiety and embarrassment to teens. is he sexually active? Might be an STI he is too worried to mention?

LeafyGreen333 Mon 15-Jun-20 21:52:00

My DH is a GP and he can do several genital checks a day - it doesn't phase him, or register as something out of the ordinary to be doing. You could encourage your son to focus on the long game i.e. getting a diagnosis and treatment so he can put this all behind him....the sooner he goes to the GP the sooner it will be resolved!

fudgesmummy Mon 15-Jun-20 22:37:34

My 2 children were born 30 and 33 years ago so I have rather got out of the habit of having to show my nether regions to strangers!!!

Unpolularopinion Mon 15-Jun-20 23:17:49

We have a very lighthearted manner in our family, so saying something like that to him and make it a bit tongue in cheek, puts him at ease.
He’s not sexually active, no

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fudgesmummy Mon 15-Jun-20 23:31:30

@unpoluleropoinion
We're like that as well!
Let us know how you get on

Unpolularopinion Tue 16-Jun-20 08:13:13

I will do. The apt isn’t until 5.30 today. Just want to get it over with for him

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labazsisgoingmad Tue 16-Jun-20 10:12:15

in our surgery there is a notice saying you can have someone ie one of the nurses there so if he doesnt want mum in the surgery there would be someone
hope its sorted out for him

Talksense Tue 16-Jun-20 10:48:04

OP I’m guessing you’re not going with him? Don’t offer to go with him, offer to drop him off and only go in if he asks you to.

He might be embarrassed they’re going to ask his sexual history.

I would second a male doctor.

I’d attempt to explain its similar to a leg/elbow/big toe as the doctor sees the body as a machine and he has seen it all beforehand. Make a joke about putting on clean underwear and to be done with it.

Unpolularopinion Tue 16-Jun-20 11:47:45

He wants me to go with him. I’ve said I’ll stay out of the way while he’s being examined. Even I don’t want to be near the business end!

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Tanfastic Tue 16-Jun-20 18:17:04

Hope it went okay smile

fudgesmummy Tue 16-Jun-20 19:46:37

Did it all go OK?
I've been thinking about you and your lad all day 🙂

Unpolularopinion Tue 16-Jun-20 19:46:50

Hi, all went fine thanks.
He kept saying it feel really awkward’ but he let the dr examine him. All felt as it should and suggested bladder training, as it may have just become a habit for him to pee again after he’s already gone.
He does have a few little ticks so it wouldn’t surprise me if this was the case.
If that doesn’t help, they’ll send him for an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys

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fudgesmummy Wed 17-Jun-20 21:42:55

Glad it well,
Good for him getting through it 🙂

fudgesmummy Wed 17-Jun-20 21:43:33

*went well

Unpolularopinion Fri 19-Jun-20 01:10:44

Thanks. I’m really proud of him

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