not pee troll I promise...wetting pants and bed at 38?

(17 Posts)
imstillbreathingbarely Mon 08-Jun-20 20:59:11

I am blushing as I write this. Ever since I was 16, I have had an issue with leaking urine (not usually huge amounts but enough to make the crotch of my underwear very damp and smelly). I did not feel confident going to a doctor and kept telling myself it would go away. I do remember having a lot of urinary infections in my late teens and sometimes would wake up in a wet bed blush which I made sure to hide (didn't want to get into trouble- home life was difficult).

Well in my late 20s things started to get worse. on and off bedwetting and waking up several times at night to go to the loo (I was on a lot of antipsychotic and mood stabilising medication for MH issues and still am on some) and sometimes wetting the bed but not nightly. Just often. I ruined several mattresses before I admitted to myself I needed to buy a mattress cover and bought those tena pants for night time, and pads during day.

I find that if I don't go immediately when I feel the urge that I just don't make it in time. This happens day or night and I find myself having accidents during the day.

3 years ago went to GP who gave me a questionnaire asking me to keep a diary of accidents and also how many times I needed the loo, how much I was voiding. then she sent me to have a scan. I had the ultrasound- was told there wasn't much wrong- I was retaining some wee, not emptying properly, but not enough to cause infections so not to worry and that maybe the nerves opening and closing the bladder were not affective. They didn't give me a definite diagnosis. They told me to try kegels but i find they make the muscles down there so tense it is painful and makes emptying myself worse. (I do have some issues with muscular rigidity and spasms (had this since I took a certain antipsychotic drug about 18 years ago- hasn't gone) and am seeing a neurologist and looking into possible movemnet disorder issues so that might be why I struggle, but I just wonder if there are any alternatives to kegels out there?

I have been struggling a lot with trauma issues (am seeing someone for complex trauma issues and have diagnoses of personality disorder, anxiety, OCD etc) and have noticed am hyperaware of my body at th emoment and thi sincreases my worry am going to lose control of my bladder. I have gone back to wearing plastic sheet on my bed at night (otherwise I worry and can't relax) but now found am having really crazy obsessive thoughts and need to pee all the time, and am leaking an awful lot, day and night.

Sorry this is long. I am not sure what is wrong with maybe. I feel very ashamed that am going through this. I feel a fialure fo rnot being successful at kegels

OP’s posts: |
Bubblegum498 Mon 08-Jun-20 21:05:58

Have you seen an incontinence nurse? They can give you these massive machine washable absorbent sheets that you put on your mattress

EchoCardioGran Mon 08-Jun-20 21:17:45

Has anyone talked to you about urinary incontinence being a side effect of some anti psychotics?
Quite a few of them can have this effect I believe
If it's a med side effect, then kegels will not help.
(I'm not a medical person)
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

Slothsarecreepy Mon 08-Jun-20 21:22:40

Loads of anti-psychotics can cause nocturnal enuresis (bed wetting at night). Speak to your MH team.

imstillbreathingbarely Mon 08-Jun-20 21:32:18


Loads of anti-psychotics can cause nocturnal enuresis (bed wetting at night). Speak to your MH team.

Thanks. Would they be causing the issues during daytime with urgency and leaks also? I guess only a doctor could answer that. thanks anyway to all who responded.

OP’s posts: |
imstillbreathingbarely Mon 08-Jun-20 21:33:10


Have you seen an incontinence nurse? They can give you these massive machine washable absorbent sheets that you put on your mattress

no. I wonder if GP could refer me? (after lockdown is over)?

OP’s posts: |
Bubblegum498 Mon 08-Jun-20 21:42:57

Partners gp referred him but not sure if this was before or after he got diagnosed with the cause of his incontinence


Elouera Mon 08-Jun-20 21:52:23

Sorry you have gone through this so long! I would go back to your GP. You might benefit from a more detailed scan, incontinence nurse/physio and either gynae/urology input. Also CBT.

Do you get painful periods, or pains at other times of the month? A friend had sometime similar, and for years had issues. Scopes inside her bladder showed nothing, and they basically said in the end it was in her head! Turned out she has endometriosis on the outside of her bladder causing all her symptoms. She had surgical treatment and never had the symptoms ever again.

best of luck, but get referred. This isn't normal at all and needs further investigation for a start. flowers

Aurea Mon 08-Jun-20 22:03:26

D mannose is great for bladder health. I have a friend who always needed the loo and took this supplement for a few weeks and was back to normal. Might be worth a go.....good luck!

acocadochocolate Mon 08-Jun-20 22:42:54

Don't just put up with this OP. This can be sorted or at least improved.

I wet myself once and went to GP who was very sympathetic and said it was either an infection or muscular issue. It turned out to be the latter and I was prescribed some medication which completely sorted it out. (In my case the cause was MS, which was diagnosed shortly afterwards).

caringcarer Mon 08-Jun-20 23:04:33

You could also buy a mattress like s hospital one covered in a thick vynal do you just spray and wipe over. It does not ruin no matter how many times you set it. I am foster carer and have one for child with wetting issues due to emotional baggage. They are not expensive.

AsanteSana Mon 08-Jun-20 23:32:19

Oh OP, I so feel for you and can empathise. I have name changed for this as I feel embarrassed by it and really do not want it linking to any of my other threads or posts.

I can assure you that I, too, am not a pee troll, but I am male and the physiological differences between men and women
and the causal factors in urinary incontinence are for a medical expert, and not me, to comment upon.

However, I suffered from this all my life, until it was finally resolved when I was 30. With me it was nocturnal incontinence and everything was tried. I recall my GP, though, being very dismissive, when I was little, telling my parents that it was 'laziness', 'pyschological' or that 'he will grow out of it'. I didn't grow out of it though and it blighted my whole life until it was eventually resolved - having to bath or shower every morning before school or, later, work, because of the smell, no school residential trips, no overnight stays with friends or relatives, and, most distressing of all, no sexual relationships, since it was impossible to stay overnight with anyone. It really knocked my confidence, so OP, I do sympathise greatly with you.

Everything was tried - electric moisture sensitive pad and buzzer on my mattress, my parents waking me several times each night to go to the toilet, not letting me have drinks after a certain time in the evening, even bribery - I had a 'penny a night' tin in which my parents would put a penny for every night I was 'dry'. It remained stubbornly light! And the fact that it was a penny, a not insignificant sum, then, to a small child, shows how long ago it was!

But, as I say, nothing worked and I resigned myself to the thought that this would plague me for my entire life. Eventually, though, in my late twenties I resolved to try again (sick of replacing mattresses, refusing invites from friends to stay etc), and, ultimately, following a referral from my then GP, I saw a specialist genito/urinary team at a hospital in London, all I can recall is that it is somewhere near St Pancras Station ( sorry, I do not know London well and live many miles away!). I remember some very invasive internal examinations which were mortifying, but the upshot was that I was prescribed a nasal inhaler, one squirt up each nostril every night before bed - it was miraculous and instant and a transformation of my life! Within six months I was able to dispense with taking it and have never had a problem since. I am so grateful to the team at that hospital - it was so liberating and confidence boosting!

OP, I am sorry, this has been a ramble, but I just wanted to really say don't despair or give up hope, there will be a solution somehow for your situation and I sincerely hope you find it very soon. Good luckflowers

AsanteSana Mon 08-Jun-20 23:40:04

PS - I wish I could recall which hospital it was and the name of the drug I was prescribed, but time, and a failing memory preclude that - not much help to you I know.

Elieza Tue 09-Jun-20 00:04:08

Just googled Nasal spray incontinence:

“ DDAVP is a brand-name hormone that can be used as nasal spray (generically called desmopressin) that affects the kidneys, which helps to control frequent needs to urinate — especially in people with nocturnal enuresis (involuntary urination that happens at night while sleeping).”

So there is hope OP that you too can get help from your GP if that spray could work for you

AsanteSana Tue 09-Jun-20 00:16:49

@Elieza - that's the stuff! Thank you, that is the very stuff I took - it could be a possibility for the OPsmile

Elouera Tue 09-Jun-20 07:50:18

@AsanteSana- I'm glad you found a solution after so long. If the hospital was a short walk from St Pancras station, it could have been St Pancras hospital (10mins) or UCL (15mins, but closer to Euston). x

Mary8076 Wed 10-Jun-20 11:10:26

You really need to see an urologist, GP should refer you. Eventually if it's not a problem for you, go to a private one. Keep the voiding/accidents diary, the urologist will need to see it.
You should have done it before, probably there's a solution for you and you don't need to keep going through this anymore.

Yes, usually anti-psychotics lead to bladder problems, you can look for the side effects of the drugs you take, in the accompanying leaflet or online.

Don't understimate the effects of anxiety on the urinary system, it plays a big role and it's a big vicious cycle (more accidents means more anxiety, more anxiety brings more accidents). I'm not going to talk here about absorbent protections since it's fuel to the fire of trolls (drop me a private meassage if you need) but you should use something you can totally trust and that gives you total peace of mind, even in the worst possible scenario. It breaks the anxiety vicious cycle and it doesn't stop you from having your regular everyday life and new experiences, constant self-denial leads to depression.

About Kegel exercises, if its painful you could try some pelvic floor electrical stimulation device, you can find these on amazon too. It would be better to hear the opinion of an urologist about that, but these devices are useful to strengthen pelvic muscles and also to relax them. It could be a valid alternative for you.
Take a look at the PTNS too and discuss it with your doctor.

Nowaday there are several medical treatments, online you can find tips on managing the problem, only an expert doctor can give you a solution.

Don't feel a failure fo not being successful at kegels, it happens to a lot of women. You are already looking for a solution, this is the most right thing to do.

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