Breast and bone cancer mets. End of life

(19 Posts)
MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 13:29:29

My mum has breast and bone cancer. She was taken off her 2 injections because of covid19. Within a week she deteriorated rapidly. She has lost a stone, loss of appetite, is so weak and yellow looking on occasions. She sits all day as she has no energy. Is this close to the end? It all seems so rapid

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littlejalapeno Thu 14-May-20 13:42:19

I’m so sorry to hear that. You must feel very sad and helpless. Is there any way you can contact her oncologist? Do you have family around you and can you spend time with her? Wishing you all the best

Sarahlou63 Thu 14-May-20 13:43:42

Probably, I'm afraid. My mum was diagnosed with liver cancer just 6 weeks ago and is in a nursing home as no treatment possible. Also jaundiced, not eating and sleeping a lot but no pain, according to the nurses. I hope your mum is also comfortable. Is she at home? Have you been able to speak to her doctor?


MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 13:48:46

Thank you for taking time to reply. She has no pain, she has carers in 3 times a day at home..its so sad. So sorry to hear about your mum too x

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MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 13:51:59

I have taken time off work, but its such a difficult time. My kids are at home and dont like to take them every day as it's upsetting for them. So go when I can. Usually when my husband gets home or is off. I just thought if this was close to the end I would make some sort of arrangement for the kids. Thank you for replying

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flygirl767 Thu 14-May-20 13:52:59

So sorry to hear this, I lost my sister to breast cancer/liver mets last year. She deteriorated very rapidly within the space of a couple of weeks. Have you got McMillan nurses going in? If not try and get your GP to organise it, they were such a help and comfort at the end xx

MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 13:57:25

Im new to this so when i reply I dont know how to tag your name. So sorry to hear about your sister. Macmillan have popped in but because of covid they aren't meant to be visiting unless its the so at a hoping she will spring back and it's a blip x

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flygirl767 Thu 14-May-20 14:02:15

Prior to coming off the injections was she well in herself? It could just be a blip but you need to encourage her to try and eat a little. Has she got the build up drinks to give her extra calories?

MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 14:07:58

She was definitely slowing up and there were a few signs. She was fiercely strong and independent. It's the 5th time she has had cancer, she's always put mind over matter. Maybe her body has had enough. Yeah she has them drinks too x

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flygirl767 Thu 14-May-20 14:11:04

@MrsMc1976 there is a forum called Life limiting illness under the health section, you may get more help in there as there are people who are all going through similar situations. Hope you get to spend as much time as possible with your mum x

MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 14:14:23

@flygirl767. Thank you for that x

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Gulpingcoffee Thu 14-May-20 14:19:40

Really sorry for you OP. I have little experience of this but when my father in law was dying from cancer the GP made house visits and gave us really clear estimates of how long it would be (eg he called on a Friday night and said he wouldn’t last the weekend, this allowed my husband to rush home to be with his mum and my father in law did indeed pass away on the Sunday). The sue Ryder nurses from the local hospice were brilliant too and came round a lot.

Eve Thu 14-May-20 14:22:11

Do you have a nurse seeing your mum regularly to see if she needs pain relief?

They can also organise support from Marie Curie who I found more helpful than McMillan.

flingaling Thu 14-May-20 14:28:58

I have nothing to add but just wanted to send you be strong thoughts and a virtual hug. How truly shit for you and for your mum.

MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 16:17:18

Gulpingcoffee the Macmillan nurse said she would tell me but as they are not visiting due to covid it's hard to tell x

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MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 16:20:54

@flingaling. Thank you for your response, that's very kind☺️. Everyone has their own problems and the world is a scary place at the moment. X

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HollowTalk Thu 14-May-20 16:24:24

Your poor mum. What a horrible time for her and for you, too.

On a practical basis is it possible for you to stay with her for a week or so?

MrsMc1976 Thu 14-May-20 16:56:43

@HollowTalk My husband is a police officer and does shift work so when he is off I go to hers. Its difficult with the kids too. I have just been there now to give her lunch and I took the kids, she perked up a bit, which was nice, but wouldn't eat x

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HollowTalk Thu 14-May-20 16:59:30

I know we're not meant to mix households but is there any way she could move in with you for a while? You must hate having to leave her.

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