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Morning sickness

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Holzypolzy Thu 23-Apr-20 17:56:04

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to achieve with this tbh and I've never posted before but I'm just feeling so dreadful I feel I just need to moan. I just don't know how much more I can cope with the sickness. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have struggled since 6 weeks. It varies between a few times per day which are my good days to 5 times a day and it is just so violent. I realise others have it far worse than this and would probably love to swap shoes with me but it just feels relentless and I don't know how to get through this. My mum had morning sickness and weight loss until she was 32 weeks and I am petrified by this. When I'm not being sick I'm spending the whole time concentrating on trying not to be sick. I've been prescribed cyclizine and I tend to take it after I've had a few really bad days and can take no more...when I've taken it I find I still have the nausea and could still be easily sick if I'd let myself, but am more able to breath through and stop myself. I'm reluctant to take it too often as I hate the thought of being on anything at all and part of me feels like I'm just being weak (I am such a weakling when it comes to being unwell... friends know that a hangover for me is a real ordeal) and there are others in far worse positions who survive without it. One part of me feels like I'm risking damaging my baby by taking tablets, the other part of me feels like I'm risking damaging my baby by not taking them. I've read that there are risks associated with antenatal malnutrition and autism and this petrifies me as I know how incredibly hard life is for the child and their parents. I would never forgive myself. My job role is entirely focused on child health and development and I always had this romantic idea that I would treat my body like a temple in pregnancy to give my child the best start, but it's never been more neglected or malnourished and I feel like I'm failing my baby before it's even had a chance. I know it's not my fault as such, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. Like I say, I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve here. I guess I'm trust trying to find an outlet. I feel like I've moaned so much to friends and family and I sound like a broken record, I can't bore them to death with my self pity anymore.

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