think DS has STD

(26 Posts)
stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:11:50

DS has just bought a tube of Lyclear. He hasn't said anything to me, I saw it on his desk (he bought it online).

From googling Lyclear indications, I'm not sure what he needs it for. It's the cream, so not for headlice I assume. I can only deduce pubic lice or scabies.

The house were I was an auppair got scabies and I had to wash every single item of clothing, linen, soft toy and cushion cover and cover myself from head to foot in goop as a precaution.

He's never going to talk to me about it, I'm just wondering what I need to do as we use the same circulation of towels.

Any advice on how to handle this?

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TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Sun 16-Feb-20 09:16:16

Lyclear is just for itchy skin, he may have athletes foot, or a small rash. Nothing about Lyclear screams scabies or STD, why don't you just say you saw it and want to make sure he's ok and has bought the right product so what's it for?

Christmastree43 Sun 16-Feb-20 09:16:56

You néed to just ask him I'm afraid, you might be able to advise/ give him a little more info. How old is he? If he's bought it over the counter who knows if it's even what he needs.

My uni housemate had scabies 😭 you need to bring it up as he needs to know he can't deal with it on his own if you use the same towels etc

mrbob Sun 16-Feb-20 09:20:00

Lyclear isn’t just for itchy skin!

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Sun 16-Feb-20 09:20:00

Sorry I was thinking of Lanacane, message still stands, just ask him what's it's for and if he wants you to help him make him an appt with the nurse

Bagofoldbones Sun 16-Feb-20 09:22:03

Just ask him.

‘You ok son? What’s the cream for’

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:26:39

He's 22. He stays in bed until he has to get up for work (shifts) when he emerges in a cloud of deodorant with headphones in and out the door. Comes in in the early hours.

The cream was left on his desk and he knows I have to go in to reclaim mugs.

I'm not sure the chat is going to happen, he's incredibly private.

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stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:38:45

I suppose I wondered if anyone with medical knowledge could tell me how contagious it is, and if I put towels (we barely share towels but the odd one crosses between him and little DS. Also he leaves towels in the bathroom so visitors could use them to wash their hands.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 16-Feb-20 09:41:40

Can you text him that you need a chat?

If you don’t or can’t talk to him, you’ll have to go ahead as if it’s scabies - wash everything, treat everyone in the same household. It spreads really easily.

WinterCat Sun 16-Feb-20 09:44:19

I'm not sure the chat is going to happen, he's incredibly private.

Having an invasive mother myself, you doing things like googling what he has bought to see it’s purpose is possibility a contributor to this trait!

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:46:46

Wintercat ya think grin

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stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:48:28

Our relationship isn't close in that way because we adopted him at 13. If it was little DS I would have no problem.

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WinterCat Sun 16-Feb-20 09:49:32

Yes, sadly so. I’ve grown up to not tell my mum anything because she would nose through my stuff and it felt like a massive betrayal and breach of confidence. I’m guessing you think I’m being ridiculous about it but perhaps in another couple of decades, when you wonder why your son doesn’t confide in you, you’ll remember this thread.

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 09:56:46

Wintercat, could I ask if you saw my above post re adoption? We have had many difficult conversations, and if he's private it's down to much more complex stuff that me googling symptoms. I did that to find out what the rest of the family need, not him!

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TamingToddler Sun 16-Feb-20 09:58:25

Has he had a tattoo recently?

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 10:04:09

Hm, that's interesting, I suppose he could have done! Is that a cream he would have been asked to get?

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Runkle Sun 16-Feb-20 10:05:57

If he was younger you'd need to have a conversation but at 22...just don't.

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 10:13:59

That's my feeling Runkle. But I just want to know he's worked out how not to ensure it doesn't spread.

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NowYouListenToMeFella Sun 16-Feb-20 10:20:36

Morning OP. I caught scabies from a hotel when travelling with work a few years ago. I'm itching even thinking about it.

Doctor told me to get lyclear and apply everywhere from the neck down. Had to repeat it 7 days later.

I was house sharing at the time. Had to wash everything I owned or used on a hot wash. Housemate didn't need too and didn't get them.

Perhaps you could wash all the towels and say nothing if you there is no chance of a chat. I was advised not to make prolonged physical contact with other people while being treated.

Any other questions on the scabies front, let me know.

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 10:27:51

Thank you so much. I have another friend who caught it in a hostel, presumably like you from unchanged sheets, bleurgh.

When he wakes up I'm going to offer to boilwash do his laundry for him (obviously I don't usually, he does, or rather doesn't, do his own) because there is a huge pile in his room.

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WinterCat Sun 16-Feb-20 10:29:24

No, it was a crossed post but I would have thought it even more important to keep the trust of your adopted child.

Scabies isn’t always/usually an STD. It seems odd that you immediately jump to that conclusion.

NowYouListenToMeFella Sun 16-Feb-20 10:36:08

No problem at all. I didn't realise what it was at first. Thought I was having a reaction to a new pill. Stopped taking it and just got worse. I got some shock when the doctor said scabies.

PP lyclear also used to treat crabs so maybe that's why the OP mentioned an STD. Being honest I think I would have preferred to catch them. I wanted to tear the skin of my entire body I was so itchy.

PennyGold Sun 16-Feb-20 10:41:35

I'd just take any precautions you can without asking him, what's the harm in washing everything on a boil.
He's probably really embarrassed, and I'm sure he'll speak to you if he wants to but he seems to be taking care of himself.

Oblomov20 Sun 16-Feb-20 11:00:45

Even despite the adoption, can you not just ask him? What level of open relationship/closed emotional conversations, do you have?

What's the worst that could happen? If you just asked him?

stormykettles Sun 16-Feb-20 12:12:34

Oblomov, we have proper conversations, and I have always made the effort to bring up topics and to show that he can talk to me and he knows I will always help him. He prefers to keep stuff private and because I didn't bring him up 0-12 I don't know why. I've done everything I can to open channels although I'm sure I could have done a lot better.

Wintercat, I haven't invaded his privacy, as I tried to make clear to you. I googled Lyclear to find out what it was, that's not the same as snooping.

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