Help me help my dh

(9 Posts)
billybagpuss Wed 18-Dec-19 09:04:29

In September DH had his prostate removed, he’s doing fine, follow up tests show no cancer. But he’s so tired and seems constantly snippy with me. I also think he’s struggling to come to terms with lack of erections, they should come back but it can take several months.

The problem is where he’s sniping at me he’s very cold at the moment and doesn’t seem very happy, I’m trying as much as I can to help him but not getting any reciprocal efforts is very difficult so I end up sniping at him too. He’s never great in winter with SAD anyway so honestly I’m dreading February and March.

I’d be very grateful for any suggestions to help him. The medication route is proving problematic as he has reacted badly to some of the things the doctor has suggested. Although he’s seeing gp again today.

OP’s posts: |
Oldmum55 Wed 18-Dec-19 18:58:24

Billy hopefully the GP will be able to help, also regarding reassuring him about his sex life which can be quite important to men.

Footle Wed 18-Dec-19 19:21:23

@Oldmum55 , just men?

Oldmum55 Wed 18-Dec-19 20:20:39

Footle I think men worry more if they can't 'perform'.

billybagpuss Thu 19-Dec-19 07:03:45

Thank you all, gp wasn’t much help again yesterday as he’s had a reaction to everything prescribed so far, but he did have a good run around last night so seemed much happier. He’s got over a week off at Christmas so hopefully catching up on sleep and fresh air will help.

OP’s posts: |
Swirlygirl Thu 19-Dec-19 07:09:04

He might be depressed billy

If he felt ok after a run maybe try getting though endorphins running through his body buy suggesting sports that you both can do together.

billybagpuss Thu 19-Dec-19 07:15:45

Thanks @Swirly this did make me chuckle we’ve been together 27 years and we’ve tried sooo many times to find compatible sports. Walking the dog seems to be the only one we agree on or that I’m not massively outclassed by him 😀

I do think you’re right and there is an element of depression especially when the light levels are low.

OP’s posts: |


Marmelised Thu 19-Dec-19 08:32:14

Not the whole solution but try a light therapy lamp. Made a massive difference to me.

Palavah Thu 19-Dec-19 08:46:44

Not sure what your schedules are like but can you prescribe yourselves 30 mins of daylight and 30 mins of exercise per day?

SAD lamp and vitamin D tablets also worth trying.

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