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Advise needed! BIG Decision about operation

7 replies

Binsey · 23/08/2007 21:04

Hi there! This is my first time on here and I'm desperate for some advice if anyone can help? I need to have a bone graft operation on my left wrist for an old fracture which didn't heal. I need this done in the next year for it to have any chance of working. I will need to be in plaster for 3 months! My son is nearly 17 weeks old and I'm having real problems deciding when to arrange the operation for (I'm lucky to have private cover through work) Should I do it while he is little but needs lots of holding or wait until he is heavier but more mobile??? Please let me know your thoughts, thanks

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newlifenewname · 23/08/2007 21:13

Gosh, do you have 12 months from now in which to get it done? If you could stretch it a bit I'd say wait until he is walking.

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Binsey · 23/08/2007 21:18

Hi, thanks for replying so quick! Yes, it's 12 months from now. I think there are positives and negatives for doing it now or waiting, when he's bigger and wriggling around it will be a nightmare to try to change his nappy with one hand etc! But he needs more holding now (I'm asuming?) How old is/are your child/children? I've also got to consider trying for another baby as I would like two with about an 18-24 month gap so I need to bear that in mind too.

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newlifenewname · 23/08/2007 21:24

Hi again, my children are 7, 6 and 3 and I have to be honest with you and say I can't actually think of a 'good' time iyswim. Now you mention wriggly nappy changes you have a major point!
But.. all that lifting aagh!

Could you get DLA or Incapacity Benefit or something to cover you for bought in extra help maybe?

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Binsey · 23/08/2007 21:35

They must keep you busy! Yes, good point about the incapacity benefit, I thought about that today actually but didn't think about getting some help - good idea. I'm going to see my GP next week so could ask him about that I guess. It's just such a shame, I feel so upset about it as I'm worried I'll get frustrated and depressed and I really dont' want my son to see me in a state and for it to take away from our special time together, especially if I go back to work, this time was meant to be special It'll be a real test for me I think!

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LiegeAndLief · 24/08/2007 14:12

Oh dear, how tricky. I would be tempted to say now - you have no guarantee he will be walking confidently in a year's time and he will still need lifting in and out of bath, car seat, cot etc. My ds is only 12 months old though so don't have much to go on for the next four months of life. But I definitely find him harder to lift and move around now than when he was little, I don't think I could pick him up with one hand!

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RitchieHill · 24/08/2007 14:48

I would also say now - they're not so wriggly through nappy changes when they're that bit older and then it would be over by the time you have another baby. By the way, mine are now aged 11 and 7 and I don't think that any time is more 'special' than any other. Try not to get hung up on what you might miss or not - enjoy each moment. Just as they don't actually get easier, they just get different, no time in their life is any more special than any other. Good luck with your op!

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Binsey · 24/08/2007 15:16

Thanks for you comments, they've helped and given me more to think about. I think I just need to go for it and make a decision as I think the fact it's on my mind is what is stressing me most! Cheers again