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F**king fistula

(29 Posts)
Riddlediddle Mon 07-Oct-19 19:09:19

Need to vent as I think my family are fed up with my constant moaning so I thought this would be a good place to come to get it all out.
After a nasty perianal abscess that was surgically drained I was then one of the unfortunate people (only happens to 1 out of 10 according to the surgeon) to go on and develop an anal fistula. These things are evil. I've had to have a massive seton stitch put inside me as the fistula runs directly through my sphincter muscle so would cause incontinence if removed. The site of the wound is raw and constantly wet from not only the liquids coming out of it but also all of the antibacterial gels that I'm having to put on it so it doesnt get infected as it sits literally 1mm from my arsehole! I cant just have a s**t anymore without a 40minute bathroom trip to clean and dress the area to surgical standards!!! I cant sit down and I haven't worked in 3 months. How can something so small cause so much disruption to one person's life. I'm so fed up of it all and no end in sight in the near future. F**k you fistula!!!!! And breathe......

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Miljah Mon 07-Oct-19 21:29:00

Yep. I don't have an anal fistula but I do have an understanding about how shit (😉) they are.

Keep on keeping on.

AntiHop Mon 07-Oct-19 21:33:32

That's awful op. sad

MollyHuaCha Mon 07-Oct-19 21:41:18

Yes, this is a great place to vent. Your condition is lousy, you poor thing - come on in and complain all you like.

Your family will never understand how painful and debilitating this is for you, in the same way that we all kind of forget the trials of people who are blind or deaf or in a wheelchair or disfigured, whatever.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. smilebrewcake

Riddlediddle Mon 07-Oct-19 21:51:15

Thank you!!! Some days it really all just pisses me off and I feel like exploding with it all so it's actually good to write it down and get it all out!

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Clankboing Mon 07-Oct-19 21:55:21

Yes they are vile, not that that helps you. My son had one as a baby / toddler. Painful, messy, inconvenient, etc. I hope you get better soon.

Riddlediddle Mon 07-Oct-19 22:12:01

Oh gosh what an awful awful thing for a baby to have to go through! I hope your son is all better now! X

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GrumpiestCat Mon 07-Oct-19 22:25:04

That really sucks. Much sympathy OP XXX keep doing what you're doing x

AuntyElle Mon 07-Oct-19 22:46:20

God, I feel for you, Riddle. As you say, such a nightmare from something seemingly so small. Have you found a forum for people coping with them? Might help? Sending flowers

Riddlediddle Mon 07-Oct-19 22:56:13

No I'm avoiding the forums as I know there are some horror stories on there which would terrify me so I'm keeping my head firmly buried in the sand for now!

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AuntyElle Tue 08-Oct-19 08:36:35

Oh good point, Riddle. I was forgetting that’s always a danger.

Riddlediddle Tue 05-Nov-19 16:22:38

I feel so p**sd off over this today. Having a bad day so just wanted to find an outlet to rant. Anyone going through something similar?

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catsandkid Tue 05-Nov-19 17:24:13

Not a fistula but I am suffering from a fissure (a tear in the bum!)

Had a chronic one after I had DS 3 years ago. Took over 4 months, 2 rounds of steroid creams, 2 special ointments from colorectal surgeon (which to this day I'm not convinced actually helped heal the bastard thing) and a metric tonne of laxido to clear it (which I have taken since then religiously just to avoid a relapse). I was in constant pain everyday and bowel movements were a nightmare.

Have had a couple of relapses since it originally healed but this one is something else. Has been going on 2 weeks already and I honestly can't cope. Sitting at work on a hard chair when my bum hurts this much is just hideous.

Long story short... totally feel your pain. These issues are awful. I tell DH that I just wished I has a 'normal' affliction like a sprained ankle or a dodgy shoulder. Anal pain is just something you can't distract yourself from.

For me, I'm back on a specialist ointment. Day 4 today and no let up at all. Taking ALL the laxido and feeling properly crap.

// hand hold from a fellow bum sufferer //

Riddlediddle Tue 05-Nov-19 18:40:18

Aaaaw catsandkid I feel your pain! Sounds like you've really been through it bless you. Is there any end in sight with it all?
It's so hard to talk about to people isnt it because I dont really want to share details about my arse and I'm sure they dont really want to hear it either!
On top of the fistula issues I have the whole skin around my arse is constantly raw and weeping and it takes everything in me not to rip my skin off with my nails to satisfy the itch. I feel like I'm constantly dancing around at work to try to avoid itching. I just wish someone could tell me when this will all be over so I can get some normality back in my life and not be gone for almost an hour everytime I need a bloody s**t!

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catsandkid Wed 06-Nov-19 05:53:38

It's just shit isn't it. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but weirdly comforted to know I'm not the only one with bum issues that seem to be taking over my life.

Have the doctors given you any indication of how long things will take to heal up? I understand your comment about the skin being raw and burning/itching as I have something similar due to the ointments and stuff i slather on all day long for this! I this my ass just wants to be left alone grin but the pain means I'm reaching for the creams all day!

Riddlediddle Wed 06-Nov-19 16:36:13

I'm under the colorectal consultant and will see him again early in the New Year so no imminent end in sight unfortunately.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and likewise I do take some comfort I'm not the only whose arse is as raw and painful as a Brillo pad blush

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Kirky92 Thu 28-Nov-19 02:48:29

Hey litterally I'm in the same boat as you! I have come accross your rant as I also am sore in the pain hole (fistula) I got my seton taken out after 8months but its not healing up just like a constant knife in the bum. Next op is scheduled for 23rd Dec sad basically Christmas is canceled already at my house. The whole fistula problem is like a invisable illness you can't just casually take your dounut cushion on the bus or to work and not have people laughing or asking questions. It's such an embarrassing subject to talk to anyone about. The pain is by far the worst when it's perianal as it's the core of all movements even a snezze hurts. I have found a few helpful tools like cotton pads and a portable bidet has helped ease my suffering slightly at times over this last year.

Riddlediddle Thu 28-Nov-19 07:02:46

Hey Kirky92! It's so nice to finally hear from someone who's going through something similar (hell too by the sounds of it!). Poor you! Did yours start out as an abscess too and then become a fistula?
Last night was another night of itching meaning yet another sleepless night and a raw and weeping arse this morning angry. Nurses keep telling me that this whole ordeal will come to an end as some point and I will be 'normal' again but honestly its beein going on for so many months now I just cant ever imagine that happening. Plus like you I've still got at least one more operation ahead of me.

I cant believe your next op is on 23rd dec! Is there anyway they could delay until just after xmas at least? After each op I have been pretty much bedridden for the first couple of weeks I cant imagine how awful that would be for you over xmas. You poor thing you have my full sympathy xx

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Kittykat93 Thu 28-Nov-19 07:10:30

Oh op that sounds horrendous. Never had what you've got but I suffer from a chronic fissure since giving birth. I've spent many times on the loo in tears feeling like I'm passing a shard of glass. I sit on a donut cushion at work which helps a bit. 2 years down the line it's still there and it's miserable. Just want to be able to have a shit without being in fucking agony every time. And it's something I can't discuss with other people so it's a case of suffering in silence unfortunately.

I do hope your next op brings you some relief. It sounds horrendous for you to cope with. flowers

Riddlediddle Thu 28-Nov-19 18:39:46

You poor poor thing! I no longer get the pain when I poo but I vividly remember how awful it was when i first had my operation so you have my full sympathy! I cant believe you've been suffering for 2 years!!!!! Is there an end in sight for you? Will this be your last operation?

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percheron67 Thu 28-Nov-19 19:02:40

Never had anything like this and didn't know these problems existed! I am so sorry for all of you - pain is so debilitating and if your bot is sore you must feel it when you sit, stand and walk. I do wish I could help. I use Elizabeth Arden's 24 hour cream for eczema and sore bits but not sure if this would be of use in such a delicate area.

turkeyboots Thu 28-Nov-19 19:08:21

My DS who is 10 has fistulas at the moment and reading your stories makes me really start to question just how much pain he's accepted as normal. He's under a variety of specialists now, but no surgery yet due to the risks.
Hoping for a good recovery for you all and my poor boy.

MoonshineScarelet Thu 28-Nov-19 19:18:34

There is an amazing Facebook group for women experiencing this. Called Abscess/Fistula Support for Women.

I’m in the same position as you OP, perianal abscess turned fistula. The group on fb has been a lifeline for me.

Such a debilitating and isolating condition.

MoonshineScarelet Thu 28-Nov-19 19:27:31

Oh and the fb group isn’t full of horror stories, quite the opposite in fact. Forgot to mention that :-)

Riddlediddle Thu 28-Nov-19 20:02:20

Oh turkeyboots your poor poor ds. How did he develop his fistula's? Bless him x

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