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What can I do to get my family ready to support me being ill?

(42 Posts)
RainbowRobot Wed 21-Aug-19 12:28:37

No previous health anxiety but a few things lead me to suspect I'm going to be quite ill.

Had a full day in hospital on Monday, 7am to 7.15pm. DH is totally unable to appreciate that at the end of the day, I need to eat and perhaps talk about what is going on.

How can I talk to DH about getting a grip of the 'for worse' and 'sickness' bits ahead. He's really not getting it at the moment.

Have two DDs 14 & 12 - have laid some good foundations but a lot of room for improvement!

OP’s posts: |
Fleetheart Wed 21-Aug-19 15:09:07

Poor you, sounds like you are the strong one and your DH isn’t used to taking the lead. I think you have to have a straight conversation where you tell him your fears and what you need from him. It’s his job to help with the DCs and with your anxiety and stress. It’s not your job to always protect him. He’s an adult as well. Could you do this?

Noviceoftheweek Wed 21-Aug-19 15:10:24

You suspect you are going to be ill? What have the doctors said? Have you had an actual diagnosis?

Caselgarcia Wed 21-Aug-19 15:13:07

I would wait for the actual diagnosis first. Then if it is serious, make sure family are there with you when doctors explain what sort of impact the diagnosis will have for you all.

YouJustDoYou Wed 21-Aug-19 15:14:11

You "suspect" you are?? As in, you're awaiting treatment hence the all day hospital stint? He's "not getting it" in what way?

YouJustDoYou Wed 21-Aug-19 15:14:29

*awaiting diagnosis, not treatment

inwood Wed 21-Aug-19 15:49:53

I think you have quite severe health anxiety based on your other thread and need help for that first.

hormonesorDHbeingadick Wed 21-Aug-19 15:50:59

How many threads do you have about this OP?

Knitclubchatter Wed 21-Aug-19 15:55:16

Reality check, no one will care if you’re ill. You may if lucky get a few days of sympathy initially. Anything long term wears thin.

Bookworm4 Wed 21-Aug-19 15:56:59

‘Suspect’ you are I’ll? You either are or aren’t, wait until you actually know or it comes over as attention seeking. Anyone can be in hospital for a day with all the waiting.

RainbowRobot Wed 21-Aug-19 16:10:13

This is going to sound crazy but I've had double vision it was n't initially 'convienent' to get it investigated, DH works away two nights, busy with kids, etc.

After not initially dyng, going on holiday (DH not keen to disrupt that if I'd need extra tests) I drove by myself 60plus miles and got an emergency referral.

Went back on Monday, had to insist DH drove. They've ruled out the more catastrophic possibilities but working down the list, taking into account other stuff, I've probably got MS. More tests in a couple of weeks.

So I'm in limbo and it's very lonely. Dh has gone away for work and since the hospital day been in touch once for a 5 minute chat at 10.30pm to discuss his evening out.
On the drive home on Monday he was cross because he couldn't find a chip shop and could n't compromise at the Waitrose/Subway/Burger King services, so he sat in low blood sugar silence.

He has good points but very much when things are in the health & well side of life. How do your DPs cope when it's not going well?

OP’s posts: |
RainbowRobot Wed 21-Aug-19 16:14:36

I posted an initial thread in AIBU which did n't take off so thought Health might be appropriat, then went and ineptly posted it twice !

OP’s posts: |
Bookworm4 Wed 21-Aug-19 16:26:46

Again you have no diagnosis, I think you’re being ridiculous. You can’t self diagnose MS!! Even if you have, it’s unlikely you’re going to be terribly ill immediately. Please stop the drama until you actually know something. Your DH probably isn’t that worried as you put off getting checked until it suited you and now you want a big drama.

inwood Wed 21-Aug-19 17:43:14

You keep coming up in my active threads. You quite clearly have anxiety. When did it start, is there a trigger?

Fleetheart Wed 21-Aug-19 17:47:20

Blimey, what unhelpful responses. @RainbowRobot, I really feel for you as my ex was very like this. He couldn’t really handle it if I was ill, which fortunately wasn’t often.

It doesn’t sound to me like you have health anxiety, it sounds as though you have complaints which are being investigated and your DH is not stepping up and helping as necessary. I do think you need to have a serious talk with him, tell him you need help and insist that he takes some time off is needed. Most workplaces are sympathetic to needs like this occasionally.

MyDcAreMarvel Wed 21-Aug-19 17:47:30

Why would think you have MS with double vision. You can’t self diagnose.

Fleetheart Wed 21-Aug-19 17:48:36

@Bookworm4- unbelievable, what are you talking about??? Why so cruel to someone who has clearly posted for help?

Fleetheart Wed 21-Aug-19 17:49:11

Do people not get it? She has been in hospital for a day of tests.

MyDcAreMarvel Wed 21-Aug-19 17:51:57

Yes hospitals will run tests if you mention smptoms it doesn’t mean MS. It’s unusual for immediate concern to be long term health support.

isabellerossignol Wed 21-Aug-19 17:53:14

Do people not get it? She has been in hospital for a day of tests.

People do get it, but being in hospital for a day of tests does not mean that someone is definitely seriously ill.

Fleetheart Wed 21-Aug-19 17:58:47

No but the OP has said that they think it’s probably MS and more tests to come. Anyway what happened to sympathy on mumsnet, this isn’t AIBU, it’s a cry for help

DeadZed Wed 21-Aug-19 18:01:49

Yep - I had a day in hospital after developing double vision overnight. Turned out I had labrynthitus. Very worrying at the time but it all came to nothing and I recovered fully after two weeks.

Tennesseewhiskey Wed 21-Aug-19 18:09:35

I was in hospital for test after being rushed in on the sunday then brought back for tests all that week. Double vision, crippling headaches.

Turned out to be stress and anxiety. My medication is working well and I am, mainly, back to normal.

Having a full day of tests doesnt prove anything. It proves op reported recurring double vision. That's it.

Joerev Wed 21-Aug-19 18:25:30

I would try not too worry. MS takes a good year or so worth of tests first. What have they seen on the MRI? Infarction?

Is it just double vision? Have you had your eyes tested first?

What made the drs say MS?

MyDcAreMarvel Wed 21-Aug-19 18:29:06

What made the drs say MS?
According to one of ops other thread they didn’t Dr. Google did.

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