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Should we start preparing??

(3 Posts)
WhatToDo999 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:39:50

To cut a long story short, mum (74) was diagnosed with lung cancer last August, she had surgery in October to remove half the lung and a section of the ribs. Follow up appointments gave her the all clear, the surgery was a success.

A week after being home from she was admitted back to hospital with a chest infection. Since then, she has been in and out almost monthly.

In January, she was admitted with an infection and dehydration. We never know where this infection is, they give her antibiotics and fluids and within a day or two she's ready to run a marathon and they send her home. When she was admitted in January, she started having epileptic fits, never had them before in her life. They were quite bad and she had to be sedated as that was the only way they would stop. She was transferred to another hospital to have her lung drained, as we were told the infection was due to a fluid build up on her lung. When she was transferred, she had a day where she was having fits constantly, it was relentless. ICU consultant was called to see her, but he said ICU was no good for her due to her quality of life. Anyway, she recovered from these, and was sent back to original hospital as they couldn't drain the lung.

She ended up staying in hospital for 3.5 months and four times we were told to prepare for the worse. Bless her, she pulled through and eventually came home, albeit with a lot of help needed and massively decreased mobility.

Since she came home she has been hospitalised another two times with infections and dehydration. A couple of days on fluids and antibiotics and she is sent back home again.

She was just re-admitted yesterday. I'd say its for the same thing, but it seems different this time and i can't quite put my finger on why. The Doctor phoned this morning and basically said they are at a complete loss, they cannot understand what is happening.

I went to see her last night, and her hands and feet are so purple they look almost black. She is sleeping pretty much constantly, but when she is awake, she's vacant, she knows we are talking to her, but she just stares at us and groans.

i know that no one has a crystal ball, and we never know what is going to happen. I just can't help but feel that this could be it (although we were told 4 times this was "it" and she pulled through)

Sorry for the long post!! x

OP’s posts: |
stucknoue Thu 08-Aug-19 16:24:13

Hugs. There is no definitive answer but in my experience, yes I would prepare yourselves both emotionally and sort out any affairs if she has the ability still. Drs don't have that answer nor can they work miracles just ensure she's comfortable for as long as she has left but I would personally not want treatment to prolong life at this point. thanks

WhatToDo999 Thu 08-Aug-19 16:44:20

Thank you!
When she has been poorly before, the doctors have said we can do this or that, and i felt like saying, ok, but do you have to. It is heartbreaking to see her looking so small and vulnerable.

I think a part of me is saying we've been down this road on numerous occasions and she's pulled through, but another part of me is saying when is enough going to be enough, when it is going to be that one time to many xx

OP’s posts: |

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