I really need help kicking my painkiller addiction

[joanneg]

A while ago I posted on mumsnet under my previous nickname about my problem with pain killers. I got some great advice especially from Lisa78.

Well - an update of sorts. I have managed to stop taking the prescription painkillers I was taking - but replaced them with a less strong over the counter type (co-codamal). It has got to the stage that I feel I need to come off them for good but I am so terrified to.

I know this sounds silly and some people might find this daft - but I realise that I am totally hooked on them. I feel like I cant get through a day without them, but am worried that I am going to overdose unintentionally. I feel ill all of the time and feel like I need them - but think that they are causing my headaches and the stress of the addiction is making me feel ill - so I feel I need them.

My dh is great, my ds is a wonderful little boy - so it frustrates me that I feel so low and am so hooked on these stupid things. I do suffer with depression (although I hide it well). I have the family from hell and have been through a lot so I think as a result I have quite an addictive personality (I over spend and over eat too).

Please can anybody give me some advice on getting rid of these bloody pain killers. At the moment I take 8 a day (4 doese of two tablets). The thought of not taking them pushes me over the edge and I just want to cry. should I try cutting down, or just stop?

Please help, I know this is sounds like a silly problem but it is really ruining my life.

[misdee]

try cutting down. give yourself a time limit (8 weeks maybe) to gradually cut down. co-codamal contains codeine (which you probably already know). its very easy to get addicted to.

cut down by one tablet a week. that way its amanagable way to do it. if you stop straight awy you'll feel worse and theres a higher chance you'll end up back on them.

best of luck

[joanneg]

hi misdee - thought about cutting down and think that this might be more plausable than just stopping taking them. It is such a scarey thought because they give me a pick me up (not sure that they physcially do actually - I think that is is psychological). Feel like I wont be able to cope - which is daft. thanks for replying I cant talk about this to people in 'real life' as they have no clue (apart from dh)

[misdee]

was gonna ask if your dh knew about it. its good you have his support. keep us updated.

[MUMINAMILLION]

Dont have any experience of this Im afraid but cutting down gradually sounds by far the best advice. But was wondering would it be possible to speak to your doctor? And how about counselling? If you feel you are psychologically dependant upon them, Im sure there are professionals who could help you to understand why you feel you need them and eventually stop the problem at the root. Im sure your doctor could put you in touch with someone. (Hope that makes sense!)

[joanneg]

thanks mim - actually I thought about the doctors as I know that they can refer you to somebody to talk to. I think that it is a way I cope with the fact that on the outside I am happy but on the inside I am depressed.

Think I might try the gradual cut down - but expect me on here pulling my hair out!

[MUMINAMILLION]

Well remember to pop in to the new board (when it gets up and running!). Would like to say the more the merrier, but in view of the circumstances, maybe not...........

[joanneg]

wondered if anybody else has any advice at all? thanks
Mum in a m - what new board?

[Stripymouse]

joanneg - I was a heavy smoker and terrified to drop the addiction. I was really scared that if I missed my first morning cigarette on the way to work that I would not be able to function, something horrific would happen and I would embarass myself running out of work (school) to find the nearest shop and give in to my addiction. I was also frightened to even find out if I would be frightened IYKWIM.
The way I coped with the plunge was to make a little emergency pack up and kept them with me in the glove box in the car. Knowing that if I slipped it was going to be ok relieved my stress and anxiety. I also made a deal with myself that if I had a bad day and slipped then I had to make a really big effort the next day to start afresh - so as not to make one slip be the end of my resolution. I also treated myself with bunches of flowers once a week if I had a smoke free week. After a couple of weeks doing this secretly I had the courage to "announce" that I was going to give up and knowing that people were watching me, being someone with a lot of stupid pride, didn?t want to fail in front of them all.
I have been without a fag for over four years now so my mad method worked for me. Just needed that safety blanket knowing that the world wouldn?t crash down if I slipped and that I was prepared to do badly!
Some people need to give up totally, others gradually. Depends on your personality. There are pros and cons with both methods - having them out of the house stops temptation a little but can also mean more of a withdrawl. Cutting down slowly prevents the withdrawal from being so bad and feels more in control but needs will power not to raid your supplies. One thing is for certain - only you really know if the timing is right. If the thought of not taking them is pushing you over the edge then maybe you should talk to your GP first to see if there is any other support mechanisms - other treatment or professional support/counselling to help you cope.
Good luck. It won?t be easy but your self esteem and ability to feel in control of your life again will be worth it. HTH xxx

[MUMINAMILLION]

We're having a new topic under Health for anyone who suffers any kind of depression. Just a place to talk about it, get support, pass around ideas, that kind of thing. It will soon be up and running. I think it will be really helpful for a lot of people.

[susanmt]

joanneg - sorry to hear about the trouble you have been having.

I've not been addicted to painkillers but was potentially in danger of it as I have had to take strong painkillers for a long time for kidney stones. I have talked the issues over with my doctor and dh (who is also a GP) on several occasions and know how happy they are to help, if it were ever to become an issue.

It could well be worth having a chat to your doctor. Either he/she will be able to help, or could point you to someone, either a counsellor or a psychiatrist who has experience with addiction issues, in order to help you come up with a plan to wean yourself off them. Just stopping might not be recommended - if you are actually physically dependent on the coedine (it will be that, rather than the paracetamol, that you are dependent on) then it is usually best to do it slowly. If you just stop dead with no help the chances of you failing are much higher, which will just make you feel worse.

I do think it sounds like you need to talk to someone, not just about your painkillers but about your depression as well. Speaking from experience here - I've had depression on and off (more on really) for 20 years now and I find that when I try to cope with it on my own then it just gets worse, but when I seek help, then things tend to improve. Are you taking any medication for the depression? That might be what you need in order to come off the painkillers? If you were feeling better in yourself then you might have more energy to help yourself, with the help of others.

Your first post seems like such a cry of despair. You are so keen to sort this out, but it does sound like you need help to do so. I really hope you manage to sort it out - I'll be checking back here to see how you are getting on!

[bottersnike]

Joanneg, it's not a silly problem at all and you are brilliant for confronting it.
I was addicted to over-the-counter painkillers for 4 years and it ruled my life. I got in such a panic if I ran out, especially if it was Sunday and I didn't know where the nearest chemists was.
For me the impetus to give up came from two things; one, that physically I was a wreck - I always had headaches, my skin was terrible and my hair thin, and two, that dh and I decided to try for a baby. I couldn't face the thought of harming my baby so decided to give up once and for all - my previous attempts had never worked.
First of all I set myself a target of gradually cutting down - taking one tablet instead of two, increasing the time between doses.
Then I told myself I would go one day without any, then another day, then another day. It really is about taking it step by step.
It is hard, and for the first couple of days without any painkillers I felt awful, but it does get better, and better.
I've now been off them for 2 years, and it feels great.
I'm sure you can do it too, joanne. It's hard but so worth it.
I will be thinking about you today - please keep posting!

[joanneg]

Thanks for all the input. Yours posts made so much sense and really touched me. I am going to start cutting down like suggested on tablet at a time. Just the mear thought fills me with dread!
Bottersnike - alot of what you said rang true with me. The physical side effects and the panic if run out.
It gives me faith that you have given up that maybe I might be able to.

[susanmt]

joanneg, if 1 tablet at a time is too muchm you could cut them in half? Then you would be getting 3/4 dose at any one time, and after a couple of days you could cut down a bit more? Or you could take one, then 2, then one again, alternating it. Tyring to think of ways to make it less scarey for you!

Take care.

[mummytosteven]

joanneg - I don't think you are at all silly, and wish to post my support.

you might this website helpful:-

www.grieved.fsnet.co.uk/

if you go to the index page, it has some details of painkiller withdrawal programmes. I would agree with other posters that withdrawal will almost certainly need to be a planned gradual process. Also agree that it is likely that the otc medication is causing the headaches - IIRC this is a known side effect of regular consumption of paracetamol products. In terms of depression - it would be helpful if you could also look at seeing a GP/counsellor/psychotherapist to help you deal with your depression, as when you kick the prescription painkillers, you may become more aware of the depression, as the painkiller problem may almost distract you from other problems in your life.

best of luck
x

[joanneg]

susanmt - that is a really good idea - the tablet I take even have a line down the middle so wouldnt be difficult to cut in half. thanks so much for putting these messages on here it means a lot.

mummytosteven. Thank you so much for your support. I always think that your posts are so helpful on other threads and am so glad that you posted me that link. I think that sometimes it so hard to talk about problems. I always put on a brave face. Then you think that when you post on here, people will either think that you are daft or you will get lost amongst the threads because there are so many people needing advice!
So when I read these responses I was really touched. I think I am trying to say thanks.

[woodstock]

Nothing that new to add, just wanted to give support. Everyone has given brilliant advice about gradually cutting down, seeing GP and counsellor. I think those things are imperative for long term success.
It's also possible that your GP can put you on an AD after you are off the painkillers to address the underlying problem so that you are not tempted to go back.

[mummytosteven]

Hi Joanneg, glad that the web page was of use, and glad to be of assistance

[susanmt]

joanneg, it is no bother! I just hope you can get it sorted out. Are you going to see your GP about it?

[MUMINAMILLION]

Just to say hi again. I've been following the thread, and Im glad that everyone has given such great advice and support.

I hope you are feeling a bit better and hopeful about everything today.

[bottersnike]

More support from me too! I have been thinking about you and think the advice given has all been great.
Hope you are feeling OK today.

[MrsDoolittle]

I would like to add my support. This is all really sensible advice on an issue that has been highlighted in the media very recently.
Codeine is a derivative of morphine, hence the fact it is addictive and like susanmt, I believe it is more likely that that you're addicted to.
It's certainly not a silly problem and one I'm sure that your GP will take seriously.
You haven't said whether you get your co-codamol from over the counter or on prescription. Co-codamol comes with differing strengths of codeine in it - you can get 8 or 30mg of codeine per tablet. Do you know which one it is you're taking?

[joanneg]

thanks guys for remembering me!! I am eally touched. well slight progress has been made. The website that MTS put on here was great. They have this special programme (free of charge) to cut down and gradually come off the tablets. Also they have this forum of people who are coming off/have come off painkillers. which was a great help. I have been in e-mail contact with somebody who was on a lot of painkillers and he has now come off them - so he has given me some advice/suport.

Mrsdoolittle - I was on Solpadol (prescription) which was 30g codine (I think). I came off of them a couple of months ago - cutting down my codine to take co-codamol (over the counter) which is 8g codine 500g paracetamol.
By cutting the solpadol out I have won half that battle. That was really really hard and far worse then when I quit smoking. The physical symptoms were dreadful - luckily my dh had a week off work to support me and help with our ds. It was so hard and I felt so rough that I think that this is why I am so scared to take the final plunge - because I dont want to go through it again. This time though I think it wont be as hard (I came off the solpadol suddenly with no cut down).
Thanks for all of your continued support - it is really helpful and is making all the difference believe me xx

[darla]

Hi Joanneg,I really know how you feel being addicted to pain kllers.I'm addicted to co proxamol which is by prescription.I take them for a minor arthritic condition,which doesn't really bother me anymore.I take 6 a day everyday.I'm in denial that I have a problem though and really don't want to come off them ever.Dh found out that I was just taking them for no reason and went mad.So I had to stop for a while and was going mental without them.Now I take them in secret.I don't know what it is doing to my body nothing much I hope.I have been on them for 10 years.I also have depression and am on ad's.I just really wish you well without them.You're very brave to come off them and I think you have a very supportive partner.I can't imagine ever being without them my life wouldn't be the same without them.Good for you.Thinking of you.

[susanmt]

joanneg - how did you get on over the weekend? I had a headache and was thinking of you as I dissolved my 2 co-codamol!

Hope you are still feeling positive. Let us know how you are doing!

[MrsDoolittle]

joanneg - Solpadol is co-codamol. Solpadol is a brand name, co-codamol is it's generic name. Coming off that much codeine, you have done really well. 8mg is alot less and I'm sure you will feel the cut down less. Remember you were taking 60mg in two tablets before as opposed to 16 mg of codeine now.
Sounds like you have the right attitude and great support at home. I'm sure you will manage this last hurdle. Keep us in touch with how you are doing