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Should I be worried about my daughter?

(12 Posts)
Feedmenow Mon 23-Jul-07 13:38:16

My dd (8yo) is quite a skinny little thing and has never really had a huge appetite. She is quite picky about her food, but certainly gets a more balanced diet than I did as a child.
She quite often comes home from school with more than I am happy with being left in her lunchbox (I tell her on a very regular basis that she must eat her sandwich and fruit and drink her drink, and then I don't mind what else she does or doesn't eat. But, I always ensure she eats breakfast, and she does pretty well with dinner.
However, something cropped up at school last week that is now playing on my mind. Basically, I have been told by a couple of other mums that their dc have brought up on more than one occasion that my dd frequently takes a bite of her sarnie then says she has had enough and throws it away.
I have now checked her height and weight on the centile charts - there is a difference between them, but it is only 2-3 centiles different (I read that 4 or more needs attention.)
I don't want to make a big issue of food, but I DO want to make sure this doesn't get out of hand.
My first thought on how to tackle it was to start off the next school year with her making her own lunch each day so that she puts in the things she likes/fancies that day. The other thing is, I've always tried not to give my dc's the same thing over-often even when they ask for it cos I don't want them to get "bored" of it and go off it altogether. Should I forget this and just let her have the sandwich/pasta of her choice each day even if she has the same thing 5 days a week?
Also, I know this shouldn't bother me but I'm now a bit p**d off that other parents will be judging me/interferring in my dd's health!

Feedmenow Mon 23-Jul-07 13:39:38

Oh, and I should say as well that I caught my dd out last week when I saw her throwing away something from her lunchbox after school which she tried to deny when I confronted her about it.

meandmy Mon 23-Jul-07 13:41:05

tell the other parents you knew she had told you! let her choose own butties/pasta

fairyjay Mon 23-Jul-07 13:42:08

I'm sure other parents aren't judging. My dd is an awkward eater - and like you, I've always felt it best not to make 'an issue' out of it. However, a number of her friends have commented to me and to their own parents that she eats very little. They have to have school lunch.

I now make sure she has a good breakfast and dinner, and she takes in some fruit for lunch, incase she doesn't fancy anything on offer.

MrsWeasley Mon 23-Jul-07 13:46:43

Firstly ignore other parents, their children are probably just as bad.

I work in a school at lunch time and we cant force feed a child but we can keep a close eye on them and encourage them if we know you have concerns.

Sometimes its a lot about peer pressure, ("ugh you've got salad" sort of thing) ask your DD what she would like in her lunch and try to accomodate her where practical.

You could try reducing the other things in her lunch so that she isnt filling up on the other things instead of the sandwich!
Lunch times are always a rush, in - eat- out as quick as possible so it could be a issue about how long she takes to eat it.

Try different things other than bread, (wraps, crackers, croissants, pitta etc)


Feedmenow Mon 23-Jul-07 14:20:12

Fairyjay, yes, I was thinking that. I mean, if I know she eats a good breakfast and dinner and that she has something for lunch if she fancies it then thats OK isn't it?
MrsWeasley, I think the time thing is quite an issue for her as she likes to take her time. Maybe the rushing just puts her off. Have tried other things like wraps and pittas but she doesn't like them.
I know I shouldn't worry about other parents. One of them I really don't mind about as I know she wouldn't judge me, it's just one other mum who is obviously "the best mother in the world" who I don't want knowing my/our business!

Feedmenow Mon 23-Jul-07 14:20:40

Hadn't thought of croissants though.....will give that a go!

ElenyaTuesday Mon 23-Jul-07 14:24:03

my ds2 is also 8 and a skinny thing. He regularly brings his entire packed lunch home with him as he says he isn't hungry at lunch time (I think he's actually chatting to his friends and as Mrs Weasley said lunch is a big rush at school). I make ds2 eat his lunch when he comes home - it doesn't seem to affect his appetite for dinner but we don't eat until 7pm so he does have a gap.

BTW my ds2 is so small he doesn't actually make it onto the growth charts!

OrmIrian Mon 23-Jul-07 14:37:19

Mine often say that they don't have time to eat their food. But usually they don't have time to eat the sandwiches or fruit . Never the other bits. I think that lunch is often a rush and maybe your DD doesn't like being rushed when she eats? If I were you I'd not worry about it, ensure she has a good breakfast and evening meal. Some children are just skinny with small appetites. Atm mine are all eating like small horses but in DD's case that's a totally new thing - she used to survive on air and milk.

BTW I agree about the peer pressure that MrsW mentioned. Wholemeal bread and salad are both 'gay' apparently . Which is presumably why DS#1's sandwiches are often left in his lunch box when he eats them happily at home.

stealthsquiggle Mon 23-Jul-07 14:43:45

To be fair, I think if I had something like that reported to me by my DC I would tell the mother in question not because I was judging, but because if it was my child I would want to know....

At about that age my mother started giving us a weekly budget and letting us choose our own food for packed lunches at the supermarket - she would provide bread and basic fruit, everything else was up to us. Might that work for your DD?

Feedmenow Mon 23-Jul-07 17:20:00

Thats an interesting idea Stealth....not only for food reasons but also for learning about money, etc. I'll think about that one over the summer....
BTW, I agree that I would and do want to know, but it is just the one parent in particular who I feel judges me. If it hadn't been her involved I wouldn't have thought anything about possibly being judged.....
And thank you all for your replies. It is so nice to come here and get second opinions and reassurances

NAB3 Mon 23-Jul-07 17:30:16

FIrst of all I would ignore other parents. Your DD isn't theirs. I would be tempted to give her what she wants as you want her to eat, and if she gets bored it might have the desired effect of getting her to try new things. I am lucky with my eldest that he loves his food and eats everything except peppers and quiche. He chooses things in the supermarket for his packed lunch and they are allowed any fruit and veg they like. Quite exotic, his tastes! Blooming expensive too....

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