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how much to tell dd's and when?

(9 Posts)
MadEyeMisdee Thu 19-Jul-07 20:30:30

dd1 is 7, dd2 is 4.

last week dh had a stroke and is now back in hiospital untill he gets a transplant. he wont be coming home till afterwards. so far this week dd's havent seen him, as he is very confused at times. he isnt in ITU or wired up to anything apart from his heart pump, and the hospital is very familar to them.

so how much, and when really. he is going to be in all of the summer holidays regardless, and could be there over 2-3months depending on his recovery.

hockeypuck Thu 19-Jul-07 20:34:46

Misdee - sorry to hear your latest problems on the other thread. Thinking of you.

Personally, I think sit the girls down and tell them the minimum, daddy is very poorly, he needs to rest in hospital for the summer etc. Get them to think of ideas to do when you visit. e.g. picnic on the way, taking in pictures for daddy, making a photo album, buying a balloon etc. Write these down and the girls can tick them off as the holiday goes on (trying to do maybe one thing off the list each week so they look forward to ticking things off).

Then, in addition to giving them initial minimum information, answer their questions honestly as they arise and be there for them to ask them, spending time talking at bed time etc.

Sorry I can't be more help.

tissy Thu 19-Jul-07 20:38:21

sorry to hear this misdee

hope he recovers and gets his new heart quickly

CalifrauniusFudge Thu 19-Jul-07 20:39:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadEyeMisdee Thu 19-Jul-07 20:51:33

They say goodnight to him on the phone, his memory has increased so he can recall things from 10mins ago, but not 10mins-3hours ago, but the earlier stuff will sink in slowly. he can recall things from the morning in the afternoon. but the bit inbetween is gone for now. the hospital think he will most likely the whole memory of this part in his lfie and wont be able to recall it later. he wakes each day thinking he has only been there one or two nights.

it breaks my heart as wel lthat dd's are used to harefield. the hospital staff there have watched serena grown from a newborn to a 2.5year old. serena saw him today as didnt have a sitter, but he was tired so we didnt stay too long.

i have dd's that his brain has gone a little bit haywire for now, and he may ask them the same questions a couple of times.

canmummy Thu 19-Jul-07 20:56:32

Sorry to hear about your dh Misdee.

If it's any help, my grandma was in hospital for the best part of a year when I was about 9. It was a big deal to me as before that she lived with us while my mum went out to work as she was a single parent. I have to say my mum didn't really tell me a thing apart from my grandma was poorly. And I didn't wonder anything else just looked forward to going to see her (which we had to every day as there was no other family).

I think I'd agree with what others have posted. I also don't think I'd worry too much about them spending so much time in a hospital - they're with their dad after all (the only legacy I had from so much visiting is I ended up a nurse!)

MadEyeMisdee Thu 19-Jul-07 20:57:30

i am planning on one day there, one day off sort of thing.

trying to recall what we actually did last summer holidays.

MadEyeMisdee Thu 19-Jul-07 20:59:00

and the summer before that

[sobs]

brandy7 Thu 19-Jul-07 21:01:22

misdee, im so sorry that peter has had this awful turn , i cant believe he is still without transplant for so long. it must be so frustrating and heartbreaking for you

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