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Prostate Cancer

(15 Posts)
DM1209 Wed 08-May-19 16:42:20


My brother has just been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. He is 41 years old, a smoker but otherwise fit and healthy. His PSA count is 4.8 and he is getting a date for a Biopsy in the next 10 days.

I love him more than I can say and he looks after everyone else, it's just his way. I am devastated.

I don't want to Google things and so wondered if anyone had any advice or information without the scare mongering. I understand that his score is high and I understand that we won't know how far it has spread what stage it is at until after the Biopsy...

I don't really know what I'm asking for, if anyone can help in any way with information, I will be very, very thankful.

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Ellabella989 Wed 08-May-19 16:44:00

Really sorry to hear about your brother. My grandad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in his 50s and he lived to be 86 with the meds they put him on. I know it can be different for everyone and depends if it has spread etc but I think it can have a relatively high survival rate compared to other cancers x

DM1209 Wed 08-May-19 16:48:17

@Ellabella989, thank you so very much for that reassurance, it genuinely means a lot. He has only told me at this stage, he called me in tears from the hospital and to hear my big brother crying, it broke me, I will be strong, positive and supportive for him though.

I am just in shock and yes, hoping with all my might and strength that it hasn't spread far and he will be ok. Whatever the outcome I will be with him every step of the way. Thank you again.

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Helpmepleaseeeeeee Wed 08-May-19 16:53:55

It is really difficult when it is a loved one DM1209 but please do try and wait until the biopsy to get too worked up. My Dad was diagnosed a few years ago and to be honest i fell apart but luckily have a very supportive husband who helped me realise that there are actually lots of options and that as cancers go, it does have much better recovery rates for all of the others. Not sure any of that helps but just trying to reassure you that you don't necessarily need to think the worst but please don't google as i think that was my biggest mistake my Dads score was 9 something and google gave me so much anxiety flowers xxx

desperatesux Wed 08-May-19 16:54:33

That is pretty low score, I know some who was a hundred and still alive years later. I think it is something you die with not from.
The worst part of it is that is generally the treatment will make you impotent but I would think with a score like that it is contained so surgery should be an option and then the hormone suppression drugs won't be required
it is v v treatable unless v v advanced but even at that my uncle it had spread everywhere, he won't get a cure but he is 5 years now and just on the maintenance drugs and fine

Ellabella989 Wed 08-May-19 16:55:25

It’s terrifying that 1 in 2 people get diagnosed with cancer at some point. More people survive cancer than die of it though and hopefully they have caught it early enough that he can be treated through medication and live a long life still x

Wilma55 Wed 08-May-19 16:56:29

UK Women Affected by Prostate Cancer is FB group you might find it helpful to join.

Coffeebean2 Wed 08-May-19 17:03:32

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer 13 years ago - he had surgery and regular check ups. The cancer returned nearly 5 years later and was treated with radiotherapy. He is still going strong and is now in his 80s.
Prostate cancer is usually not aggressive - I know someone else diagnosed about 6 years ago who has not needed any active treatment as the cancer is so slow growing. He's in his 60s and in good health.
Try and keep positive.

rslsys Wed 08-May-19 18:02:39

An elevated PSA number does not automatically mean that cancer is present.
I had an elevated (7-9 fluctuating) reading for years. Had a biopsy and nothing was found, the thinking was that I had a high normal base level reading. Monitored every six months for the next few years, gradually started creeping up until it was in the high teens. A second biopsy under general anaesthetic also revealed nothing cancerous. My prostate was very enlarged (think grapefruit sooner than walnut size!) and was starting to interfere with my ability to empty my bladder. I had a laser procedure to 'hollow out' my prostate. PSA readings now down to below 2, nothing cancerous found in the material removed from my prostate and confirmed with an MRI scan.
Still on six monthly blood tests (had one last week) and all good.
Some of the things you learn over the course of prostate monitoring are very interesting. If you have ejaculated within the preceding 48 hours before the blood test, you can have an elevated reading, if you are a cyclist you can have an elevated reading. The PSA reading is a very 'rough and ready' measure, hence extended monitoring to try to identify a trend and biopsies to see if the PSA readings can be explained.
Although it is the most prevalent cancer in men, it is very treatable.

LIZS Wed 08-May-19 18:12:31

A level of 4.8 psa is not particularly high so biopsy may yet be clear. Dbro had several years of monitoring before having his removed mid 50s. It seems genetic in our family as Df and uncle have both had it in their 70s , both successfully treated and 5 years+ . Treatment options are developing all the time and there is a school of thought at the moment that aggressive intervention can be counterproductive. Hopefully your dbro will be ok.

princessTiasmum Wed 08-May-19 22:36:33

My ex partner has prostae cancer and had radiotherapy for about 8 weeks, before that he had several biopsies as they couldnt at first pinpoint where it actually was,he had the laser treatment too, eventually it was found in his perineum, he has to have hormone treatment for i think about 2 years to reduce the tesosterone, which makes him impotent, but it has got rid of it, and hopefully will still live a natural length of time,
I think being the age your db is it might have been caught early,
Sometimes they have what they call a watch and wait treatment, well no treatment really it is just monitored to see if there is any change
As someone else said, most men die with it ,not from it
Please dont worry too much just now,your db with be in shock at the moment but everything will be explained to him

pearldeodorant Wed 08-May-19 22:43:29

Are you sure it's definitely cancer as it can be hard to tell without the biopsy? Like others said, a high PSA doesn't definitely mean cancer! Regardless, I'm so sorry you're going through this thanks as PPs have said, some do have really good prognoses so my fingers are crossed for you and your brother. Take care

Greybeardy Wed 08-May-19 22:49:41

Is he sure he has cancer? There are quite a few things that can cause a raised PSA (which is part of the reason it’s not a good screening test for prostate cancer) and they wouldn’t normally say ‘definitely cancer’ until after the biopsies confirm the tissue diagnosis. Hope it turns out better than your expecting.

CMOTDibbler Fri 10-May-19 18:50:23

Hard as it is, he won't have any answers until he's had the biopsy, and then if it is positive, an MRI scan and possibly a bone scan. There are lots of really effective treatments for prostate cancer - radiotherapy, brachytherapy, surgery are all used. If he does have prostate cancer he should be offered a choice of treatment and the benefits of the different ones explained.
The Prostate Cancer charity have a great toolkit which helps men going through diagnosis ask the right questions to be fully informed

DM1209 Fri 10-May-19 19:11:14

Hello everyone, thank you all so, so very much for all of your responses. I've sat and read this with my brother and we're both overwhelmed with your kindness and positivity. I can truly tell you that we both feel so much better having read everything that everyone has had to say.

He has a biopsy booked in for this coming Thursday. He is on standby if there is a cancellation sooner. He is in a lot of pain and unable to comfortably go to the bathroom for either function. Even sitting on the toilet for any period of time is painful. He also has blood in his urine and when he was examined the Dr said at this stage they were certain it was prostate cancer subject to the biopsy etc. He's been told to immediately change his diet which he has done and we're just waiting now.

I keep telling him whatever happens we'll get through it. Strangely he had his sperm frozen when he was 25 as a random thing to do so that's a comfort to him.

I don't really know what else to do for him. I don't want to keep asking him how he's feeling, I know he's terrified and I just want to make him feel better. I guess we will just have to wait now.

Thank you all once again.

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