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Im in hospital and my husband wants me to discharge myself

(102 Posts)
chocolateorange93 Mon 06-May-19 08:39:46

He wants me to discharge myself so he doesn't have to take any time off work if we cant get help with childcare

I do get where he's coming from but that means looking after 3 kids and going to work also still with the issue I'm at hospital for as the treatment they tried yesterday hasn't worked so they unsure where to go from here so waiting on a specialist who should be here later who may discharge me but I've said until they discharge me I'm not discharging myself

I get his point of view with childcare etc
But why should i have to physically and mentally suffer by discharging myself to save him the hassle.

OP’s posts: |
EdtheBear Mon 06-May-19 08:41:29

No don't discharge yourself.

Can family or friends help with childcare?

Rubytinsleslippers Mon 06-May-19 08:43:42

You are in hospital for a reason. You need treatment.
Where is the support for you?
Even if you are discharged today you should get help with childcare as being discharged does not mean you will be 100%.

cauliflowersqueeze Mon 06-May-19 08:45:09

You can bet your full mortgage that if the situation were reversed he’d never dream of doing that.

Stay. Put.

FuzzyLilac Mon 06-May-19 08:45:38

He needs to deal with it. He is their parent its his job while you are in hospital to care for the children.

Bubblysqueak Mon 06-May-19 08:46:10

Do not discharge yourself, you are ill, the NHS does not make a habit of keeping people in hospital for the fun it.
Of course he should take time off to look after them, they're his kids!

InTheHeatofLisbon Mon 06-May-19 08:47:10

He'll have to take time off.

It really is that simple and he's being spectacularly selfish and unfair pressuring you to discharge yourself. If you were ready to be discharged, the doctors would say so!

Would a stern word from a doctor/nurse put him back in his box?

Fairylea Mon 06-May-19 08:47:23

Please don’t discharge yourself. Hospitals don’t keep anyone in anymore unless you’re really unwell. He will have to take time off.

greenelephantscarf Mon 06-May-19 08:47:39

stay in hospital until discharge.
your h can sort childcare whilst you are in hospital & recovering.

Settlersofcatan Mon 06-May-19 08:50:00

Don't discharge yourself. And don't sort out childcare either. Let him sort it out! And stop "seeing his point of view" on childcare - his point of view is ridiculous and lazy.

If it were me, I would also make clear that not supporting me while I was in hospital under medical advice was something that was making me question whether or not to stay with him.

iVampire Mon 06-May-19 08:50:58

Stay until a doctor can properly explain what’s up and what happens next. No move before specialist reviews you,

If you want to be helpful to DH, then tell him where he can find listings for agencies who supply temporary nannies

Mumofone1593 Mon 06-May-19 08:52:34

If roles were reversed he sounds like the type of man who would make you have the kids that day and for a month after he's discharged so he can 'recover'!

ChibiTotoro Mon 06-May-19 08:53:04

Stay where you are, hospitals don't make a habit of admitting people unless you need treatment.
Point out to your husband that if you leave now and don't get the required treatment, you are likely to get worse, be re-admitted and have a longer stay in hospital, leading to him missing more work.

Weenurse Mon 06-May-19 08:54:19

Stay in hospital 💐

LizziesTwin Mon 06-May-19 08:55:43

Hospitals have teams who assess bed requirements - if you’re in you need to be in. As soon as you can be released they will let you go home.

MadAboutWands Mon 06-May-19 08:56:07

Don’t discharge yourself.
Yes ur husband is a twat who is only thinking about himself.

You need to know exactly what the consultant think wouod be the next step, what are the risk involved in you being at home rather than in hospital (and there will be some - they dint keep you in hospital unless there is a risk!!) as well as how long they think you will in for. Ask about recovery period, aka time when you will NOT be able to lo9 after the dcs even if you are at home too.

Your (D)H needs to get his acts together and organise emergency childcare whilst you are ill (or take some time off or whatever is needed)

kateandme Mon 06-May-19 08:57:45

hospitals are up to capacity.if you have a bed it means you need it.tell him to pull up his big girl pants and looks after his fucking kids.

cranstonmanor Mon 06-May-19 08:58:33

I'd seriously question my marriage if my husband cared more about taking time off than his wifes health. He doesn't sound like he cares about you at all.

LL83 Mon 06-May-19 08:58:51

Even if you did discharge yourself you aren't fit to look after 3 children. Your dh should be concerned for your health. Maybe he is just stressed about reaction at work but he should deal with that and prioritising your health.

MadAboutWands Mon 06-May-19 08:58:53

But why should i have to physically and mentally suffer by discharging myself to save him the hassle.

Btw yu have summarised the situation perfectly yourself. Why should you put yourself at risk so that HE isn’t inconvenienced by you daring to be ill??
Can I ask how he normally is when he is ill himself? Does he need full support with cups of tea in bed etc etc whilst he ‘recovers’ from his cold by any chance?

HoustonBess Mon 06-May-19 08:59:05

Absolutely not. If you're ill enough to be kept in, you're not well enough to be looking after children. It'll delay your recovery and potentially distress your children.

He's being hugely selfish. Men don't get to act as if their families don't exist just to maintain career prospects. This is exactly why the pay gap exists.

kbPOW Mon 06-May-19 08:59:16

I started to type a long post, but honestly, unless this is extremely out of character, just LTB. My ex was like this. He got a telling off by the doctor on one occasion. Life is too short and precious to spend with someone who does not care about you.

PorterBella Mon 06-May-19 08:59:28

Has he confused NHS hospital with 4* hotel?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 06-May-19 08:59:37

It's one thing to discharge yourself and go home to rest, discharging yourself to go home to look after 3 kids is madness.

Mummaofmytribe Mon 06-May-19 09:01:46

Jeez, I've heard it all now. Do not discharge yourself! How utterly selfish he is. Are you his wife or his slave??
Hope you get well soonflowersand that you have someone else in your family to support you.

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