Not again

[Nogodsnomasters]

I don't know if anyone remembers my post almost 2 weeks ago about me, my dh and my son all having scarlet fever and how much we were all suffering (mostly the adults tbh). We finished our course of antibiotics last Tuesday and although on the Tues itself my throat was still mildly irritated by Wed through to Monday it was completely fine.

Yesterday afternoon it started to mildy hurt again, and of course I've woken at 12am, 2am and 4am with the most horrendous throat pain and ear pain, both ears. I'm supposed to be at work this morning and I already took 2 working days (plus a scheduled off day) to recover from this last time.

1. I can't cope with this again, it's so fucking painful and my pain threshold is shit, last time I cried twice over the pain.
   
   
2. I'm gonna get in trouble if I have to take any more time off work.
   
   
3. why is this happening a week after finishing the antibiotics? It's definitely strep or tonsillitis or something bacterial, this is far too fucking painful to be viral, I have no cold symptoms and the onset has been so sudden just like last time.

[Nogodsnomasters]

Spoke to gp over the phone this morning who is going to leave out another antibiotic perscription to try to be picked up at lunchtime today. I'm currently in work feeling like I might keel over at any given minute between the lack of sleep and the pain.

[Nogodsnomasters]

Anybody feel my pain?? Im feeling really sorry for myself here.

[Nogodsnomasters]

And now I'm in hospital on a drip with this shit. Can anyone hand hold me I'm begging? I've been given iv antibiotics, steroids, painkillers and fluids. It's not really helped. I cannot swallow anything including my own saliva which I'm spitting into a kidney dish and there is talk of me being kept in. Other than giving birth I've never stayed in hospital, I'm absolutely terrified and I'm worried how my ASD 4 year old will cope without me.

[DottyGiraffe]

Sorry you're feeling so rubbish.
Honestly staying in hospital is fine.
Sounds like you need to be there really as until they get the infection and ability to swallow under control, and your pain, you surely can't manage at home.
Tell someone you're scared. Ask what's happening if that helps. But it will be ok.

[Nogodsnomasters]

dottygiraffe thank you for replying. My dh has had to leave and get my ds as he wouldn't settle at grannies house, it's out of his routine and he's only stayed away from home a handful of times in 4 years. I worried this would happen. He's particularly attached to me so I know he's going to struggle when he sees I'm not there. You're right I really do need to be here as I cannot swallow any medication at all. I'm frightened of like sepsis shit, I'm frightened of getting worse instead of better somehow.

[DottyGiraffe]

It'll take a couple of days for antibiotics to kick in but if the pain relief isn't helping don't be afraid to ask for something stronger/different. Once you can eat in a swallowing sense, do. It helps to clear the back of the throat and promote healing.

I'm sure your son will be much more settled with his daddy back. Not the same as you of course but he will cope until you get home.

[poppym12]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so crap. You need to stay in there and I'm sure the medication will kick in soon. Your son will be OK. Concentrate on getting yourself well.

[mineofuselessinformation]

Ok, so stop worrying.
It's a crap situation, but the fact that you are now in hospital means that work can't argue with you over why you aren't going to be there.
Dh can take care of ds.
That means you don't have dh there to worry about, so you can take care of you.
It's not necessarily pleasant being in hospital alone, but it does mean you can do whatever you feel inclined to do - including sleeping as much as possible!
I've had IV antibiotics in the past, and the great thing is that they kick in much more quickly than tablets.
Hopefully the drip will do it's work well, and you will feel a bit better tomorrow.

[Nogodsnomasters]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the comments, I'm a worry wart by nature and I've never stayed in hospital except to give birth so its unknown territory for me. My mother has passed and I'm not close with my father so I have no parental figure for sympathy, reassurance. If I'm honest, the strong antibiotics and painkillers seem to be kicking in now as I'm able to tolerate some water and I'm not spitting quite as much saliva so some of it must be going down the throat instead of pooling. And my ear is not sore anymore either but I worry when I lie down it will be. I have barely slept in 2 nights and I just cannot seem to settle here either so can't see much sleep being had on the ward.

[DottyGiraffe]

Glad things are a teeny bit easier - focus on that!
Sadly sleep might be hard to come by particularly as you've had steroids. But earplugs and eye masks can help. They might be able to give you some or perhaps dh can bring some today.

[Nogodsnomasters]

Oh do steroids keep you awake? I wasn't aware of that, I've never had them before. I've been quite lucky making it to almost 31 years of age and never having stayed in hospital for illness. I've had a good run, I guess that's over now!

[ColeHawlins]

The steroids are pretty quick at starting to take down the inflammation, but yes they do keep you awake a bit.

[shiveringtimber]

So sorry, OP! This sounds hellish. Please try to relax, knowing that you're exactly where you need to be right now in order to get better as quickly as possible. Anxiety and fear are certainly keeping you awake! I was in hospital all of last week and I know how frightening and lonely it is. You can't do anything more for your family; your DC are in good hands. Focus on getting well. You will recover!

[ColeHawlins]

Yes best thing to do when you can't sleep is to concentrate on resting instead.

[Nogodsnomasters]

Thanks everyone. I've managed 1 hours sleep, the ward is just so noisy. They came at 5am to take my blood and then 5.20 to do my observation and then 5.50 to hook up fluid and meds, 3 different nurses, I mean jeez couldn't they have done it all at the same time. I am peeing like crazy with all this fluid going in to me as I've been able to sip water from around midnight now as well so I'm well hydrated. I'm on my 3rd dose of iv antibiotics, no more steroids since the first lot. I really appreciate the replies especially on the emotional side of things as I am a fucking wreck, the fact that I've had 13 hours sleep in 3 days doesn't help and I worked all day Tues and 3hrs yday morning also because I'd been off 2 weeks prior, that's possibly why I've ended up so bad because I didn't rest this time. I just don't understand how/why it came back 2nd time around.

[DottyGiraffe]

Hope things are improving for you today.
Yeah hospitals are not restful places. Different people with different roles will have done all those things - but definitely annoying when you're trying to sleep/rest. The bloods taken this morning should give them an idea of where things stand but those antibiotics should be doing their stuff by now.

[Nogodsnomasters]

dottygiraffe thank you, you're right, the man next to me was having hallucinations so we had shouting and nurses in/out, lights off/on, it was impossible to sleep. The doctor saw me this morning and said if I could manage to swallow tablet painkillers then he would allow me to go home. He said my throat looks pretty bad still but my stats were OK so as long as I can swallow now he will give me a new prescription of antibiotics to restart tomorrow. So I managed to swallow some painkillers at midday so they have took my drip out and I'm just waiting for my prescription and discharge papers. I still feel like absolute hell but I think sleep is needed to even start to help me.

[DottyGiraffe]

You'll definitely get more sleep at home!

[Nogodsnomasters]

Got home around 2.30pm, have managed to sleep off/on from 4pm-8pm and my son was overjoyed to see me, as I was him. I've taken some painkillers and put my son to bed. Now gonna try and eat some brioche and then back to bed again. I feel pretty anxious still but I do think it's the exhaustion as that's a big trigger for me. dottygiraffe I appreciate you checking x

[DottyGiraffe]

Well done. Hopefully on a day or two you'll be feeling loads better. Keep drinking, taking regular pain relief and eating what you can when you can. I used to find merocaine lozenges good between pain killers but don't know if they're still available.

[DottyGiraffe]

Tyrozets in Boots are similar I think.

[mineofuselessinformation]

It's tyrocaine that are the same. Difflam spray is also your friend if you can swallow, but you throat is very sore.

[Nogodsnomasters]

The hospital gave me some difflam spray to take home with my antibiotics so I've been using that before eating, I've managed a banana and soft croissant this morning. I slept from 9pm to 6am and am still feeling tired/weak. The pain has decreased compared to even yesterday, thank god. Thank you all for the support, it really has helped having someone to talk to.

[poppym12]

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Remember to take it easy for a while as you don't want to risk it coming back.

[Nogodsnomasters]

That's a big fear of mine since I already did have it 2 weeks ago and it came back twice as bad! I am still in pain and somehow still tired. I slept from about 10pm last night to 7am and could have slept more if I didn't need painkillers. This is day 6 in total now, when will this misery end?!