Brassic - how you doing? You feel strong enough to help a fellow alcoholic?

[dandycandyjellybean]

Just to say how are you doing? I have been following your progresss and am very, very, indescribably impressed. So much so that I have decided to follow your lead. I am cutting down gradually over the course of this week, as I am a 90 units + kind of girl and have been for a good ten years. Have tried absolutely everything and have decided that the only way is to give up altogether. However, picked up on the fact that total cold turkey from that level of drinking was not advisable so my plan is to have my first non alcoholic night on Monday, after cutting down gradually, does that sound about right?

[dandycandyjellybean]

?

[Desiderata]

Well, I'm not brassic, but I can sympathize.

On Monday, get yourself a tall glass, fill it with ice and a slice and pour yourself a fizzy water (or still) with a large splash of lemon juice.

It's worked for me in the past. It feels like you're having some kind of a drink.

And remember to breath. Breath deeply, watch the TV. Get absorbed in something. Plump up the bed .. find a good book.

Sleep will be difficult the first night ... perhaps. If you wake up in the night, make a hot drink with honey and shit loads of lemon.

You/we have to learn to deal with a quiet mind. You'll be delighted on Tuesday morning (and your wee will be clear in the pan!)

Take it steady, for now. Get used to the idea of a clear mind in the morning, and it will start to grow on you.

[dandycandyjellybean]

Thank you so much Desiderata! Could relate to everything you said. I know if i can crack a few days i will be able to reflect on the good stuff and it will stop me drinking - it has happened with other addictions in my life, it's just getting to the 'okay, today is the day when we don't have any' thing that is hard for me. I'm really keen on tonic water, so that's what i've stocked up on for my 'non alcoholic' night on Monday. With lots of slices of lemon, as you say, and in a really nice glass too! The quiet mind thing as you say is the hardest thing, not the booze. But I know once i have sat with it for a few days i will realize that i can, it's just getting through those few days. Again, thanks so, so much for posting, coz it really means a lot that someone else out there is hearing me.

[dandycandyjellybean]

by the way, this is the first time ever that i have been able to describe myself as an alcoholic, before i never had the courage. that is down to you brassicmonkey! so thanks.!!!!! and i think is was only because you were the only person on here that admitted to drinking (slightly) more than me!!!!!

[hellobello]

I'm finally having a booze-free night too Cubby! I think I drink far too much, but no-one else takes much notice. I find I'm fine for a while, then I start drinking more and more, then I stop again. It's been getting quite bad recently - a lot of things I don't want to think about, or do. I hope you have a good night.

[Desiderata]

I'm going to bed now, cubby bear.

Let me know how you're getting on.

[naughtynoddy]

please see a doctor before cutting down, they can prescribe medication that will prevent you having fits as a sudden reduction from that much alcohol could cause you to have a seizure. Best to have someone with you just incase.
good luck.

[dandycandyjellybean]

Thanks guys. The thing that felt the scariest is calling myself an alcoholic. I have always described myself as a heavy drinker but knew deep down that I cannot control the 'demon drink' ~ I haven't been able to successfully cut down (except when pg, but even then had 2 glasses of wine every night during final 20 weeks!!!! - ds bustingly healthy and very bright thank God!!!) It's only following Brassic's story really that I have come to realise that 'it's time'. My ds is only 20 months, and too young yet to have been embarrassed by my drunken behaviour (only ever after his bedtime) but not too young to have potentially been affected - I've often wondered what would have happened if he became suddenly and seriously ill whilst I was drunk as my husband is disabled and can't drive - it doesn't bear thinking about. But i have reflected long and hard that I don't want him to become embarrassed by me, or that I can't take him places in the evening, coz I want a drink more. And of course, more than anything, at 35 when I had him, I don't want to be a raddled old drunk when he's a teenager - I want to be healthy and full of energy and able to keep up with him (or cope with his miserable teenage tantrums!!!).

Talking to my dh a few days ago, I also feel that tackling my drinking once and for all would be the last step in 'growing up'. I've successfully dealt with major food issues following an eating disorder in my teens and early twenties, to the point where I can say that I have one of the healthiest relationships with food and my body image of most of my friends, all of whom are slimmer than me yet constantly dieting and moaning about their vast thighs or huge stomachs! I have exercised 3-5 times a week consistently for the last 5 years, and feel 'grown up' in all the other areas of my life - except the booze. So, I finally want to admit the horrible 'a' word about myself (my name's Cubby and I'm an alcoholic) and tackle the problem head on for a change instead of dodging the issue with 'i'll swap to wine, or I'll only drink on days with a 'y' in them' kind of lies to myself.

Brassic, apologies for asking for your help, because on reflection I realise that you have more than enough on your plate with your own recovery - hope that is going well. Thank you for your honesty, as it has helped my over the final hurdle of being honest with myself. I will keep posting, as I know it will help to keep me on the right path.

Thanks again, guys. Sorry for the long, meandering ramble - not due to drink for once!

[FrannyandZooey]

Cubby I am working today but I will try to post later on when I have more time, and hopefully offer you some support

[hellobello]

I think I know a bit what you mean about alcohol being the last bastion! I too had horrible eating, which is now fine, and I have stopped smoking and generally beating myself up. I don't feel the same about alcohol that I did about food. It does not consume me to nearly the same extent, but it's still a nuiscance.

[dandycandyjellybean]

Thanks all who posted. it's good to know i'm not alone with this. Am trying very hard not to guzzle my allotted amount, and also have prepared some food to eat so that I'm not eating too late - also a big symptom of my drink problem - eating way too late and eating way too much! Will keep you posted. Cheers again -

[dandycandyjellybean]

'lo? (echo, echo, tumbleweed scudding across the plain......)......

[controlfreaky2]

hi there. not sure i can say much to help..... but didnt want you sitting there talking to yourself . good luck!

[dandycandyjellybean]

thanks hun, ....... input greatly appreciated. Okay, so am off to bed now with supper and final drink of the night. Brassic, hope you're doing well, let us know. Everyone else, hellobello, f&z, cfreaky2, cheers for the support. ttfn.

[hellobello]

'Night all! I've had a bit of wine to drink (less than 1/2 bottle, really) and I'm off to bed. It's terrible not knowing if my liver works, or whether it's becoming a solid lump of useless tissue. It's terrifying reading about the amounts we are not supposed to drink. How do we all cope? Why has this come about? What happened?

[FrannyandZooey]

Sorry did not come up with anything for you tonight cubby but will look in tomorrow

[dandycandyjellybean]

Hi, billy-no-mates calling! Seriously, though, am really, really getting scared that I won't be able to do this alone. Am worried that despite cutting down, come Monday, I won't have the will power to totally give up on my own. Doesn't have to be Brassic, or anyone on her thread...is there anyone out there who could be there for me for the next week or so?........

[dandycandyjellybean]

Actually, not sure if I can do this at all. My stupid cats have got fleas after 6 years of not ever having them so me and ds are covered in flea bites. A week on Saturday I have to go to a major family reunion with people getting together for the first time in years, from all over the world, and i'm older, fatter and more mumsy, with my once pantene-worthy locks cut short - but despite all this had a za-za-zing dress and some killer heels to wear but will now have to rethink as i have bloody flea bites all up my legs. I really don't think I can do all of that without a drink??????...............

[FrannyandZooey]

Oh god cubby I am sorry

probably not the best week for me to be supportive, am too busy to be calm and helpful so am just blasting on here for relaxation and the odd spat

What help would you like? Do you think it would be useful to start a new thread with a different title? There are probably people able to help, who are not reading this thread because they think it is for Brassic

[FrannyandZooey]

Cross posts I am sorry about the fleas, what a shame when you have this smart do coming up

do you have other ways of relaxing other than drinking? Are you in touch with any professionals or drink support organisations?

[FrannyandZooey]

Have reread thread - how is the cutting down going? From 90+ to 0 in one week is incredibly fast - how many units are you reducing by each night? How are you feeling physically? It is very dangerous to cut down too rapidly as your body can't cope with the overload of adrenalin type substances that flood your system when the alcohol depressant is removed. I am worried for your health

[gulp]

well done for starting this, Cubby....FrannyZoe does it take long for the liver to repair itself? or does it at all?

[FrannyandZooey]

Gulp the liver is IN SOME CASES able to repair itself

in the case of cirrhosis it is permanently scarred and the damage is irreparable

sorry I have no idea how long it takes for healing to occur, but this website might help I hope