question about fanjo

[embarrassedfriend]

hi everyone. i am sorry if this is a bit too personal but i need a questioned answered.

my friend angela has had 3 kids aged 11, 7 and 2 and she has a problem when it comes to making love with her man. he reckons her fanjo is TOO big and she is mortified (understandably) by his comment.

She wants to know if there is surgery she can have to make her fanjo smaller? its really getting her down.

sorry if this is a bit personal but as you can imagine its a very embarrassing question and i would rather ask it on here than her having to go to her GP surgery which are all men.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

She should make an appointment to discuss it with the nurse at her surgery. If she is considering the surgery option she is going to have to do a helluva lot more than discuss it with a male GP!

There are exercise regimes that exist that can help tighten her pelvic floor muscles which may help!

[WigWamBam]

She doesn't need surgery to reduce the size of her fanjo.

She needs a nicer man.

[mummytosteven]

maybe it's his penis that's too small? or he is an unpleasant sort that likes to criticise anyway, and her fanjo is fine. otherwise pelvic floor exercises should help tighten things up, and never go amiss.

[bossykate]

perhaps her dh could go down to the surgery and ask the male gps what he can do to enlarge his penis as he isn't capable of satisfying his wife? what about that option?

[lulumama]

he sounds very insensitive

maybe his manhood is lacking? and his skill at lovemaking, rather than her fanjo being too big

she can certainly see the doc, but no harm doing lots of pelvic floor excercises..

[Washersaurus]

I was just about to say the same . The problem sounds more with him than her fanjo IMHO

[ledodgy]

I agree with WWB she needs a nicer man and one who is more well endowed!

[NotQuiteCockney]

If she has a problem with the size of her vagina (which it doesn't sound like she does?), she can have a chat with a pelvic floor physio, who can no doubt recommend exercises etc etc.

But as others have said, it sounds like her bloke is the problem.

[WanderingTrolley]

I would advise her to exercise her pelvic floor to the point where she could crush his penis, then do so.

Twat.

[lulumama]

PMSL wanderingtrolley!



she could train her fanjo to de-willy any mean boyfriends from now on !!

[NotQuiteCockney]

I do feel compelled to point out that there can be cases of fanjo/penis incompatibility (both penis relatively too small, and penis relatively too large). Is this bloke otherwise an arse? It's possible he just raised this subject indelicately?

(He probably is horrible, I know, but it's possible he's not, iyswim ...)

[WanderingTrolley]

She could practice Kung Fanjo.

It is a martial art to get rid of useless c**nts, oh the irony.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Yes. An exercise DVD should be released starring Mrs Bobbit.

[lulumama]

indeed NQC, but what are the odds? , more likely he is a twunt, isn;t it?

[WigWamBam]

Only a twunt would try and disguise his own inadequacies by blaming the size of his partner's fanjo.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Well, I've certainly heard about these problems, both ways, a bunch of times, in my pre-kids days.

It is such a delicate issue, I don't think there's any way to bring it up that doesn't end up with someone upset. I'd bet he's a bit on the 'slender' side, willy-wise, and raised it as being her fanjo's fault, before she could complain about his lack of girth.

That being said, a) pelvic floor exercises are a Very Good Thing, for continence and sexual pleasure and b) it's not like he can do anything about his girth or lack thereof.

[lulumama]

sorry, you are right, oh sensible NQC

i have had wine, hence my lack of reserve

[vimfuego]

I'm going to defend the husband here a little. Obviously it depends on how sensitively he raised the issue. But if anyone had a concern about lovemaking with their partner it is better that they should raise it with their partner than stay silent surely? There was a lady on Mumsnet who had difficulty with the hardness of her husband's erections (she thought he had a physical problem). Everyone here said "talk to him about it". Good advice in my opinion. How is this different?

[WigWamBam]

It's different because his idea of talking to her about it was to tell her that the problem was all hers - that she is too big - rather than a problem that's theirs which they can maybe both work at in different ways. Blaming her for being too big, when his lack of sensation may very well be his size rather than hers, is hardly the mark of a sensitive and caring lover.

It really sounds to me as if he's covering his own feelings of inadequacy by blaming her - and that's not right.

Where's the OP gone, anyway?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Well, we just have her particular concern here. We don't know what he said to her.

I'd agree, though, that the problem is both of theirs. Goodness knows there are other things that can be done, like choosing intercourse positions sensibly, that can help with this.

[bananabump]

Yeah I'd be inclined to try getting a pelvic floor tone/excerciser and try some different positions before she goes under the surgeons knife. Any position where the legs are held closed will make her feel tighter, such as maybe from behind bent over the sofa or whatever. Also tensing the pelvic floor when he's inside is a fun way of doing the excercises.

You can buy toners and excercisers for the vagina online that are a bit like dumbells and profess that they can have you strangling a noodle within weeks.

I really think surgery is a last resort, but I've heard good things about it, if she's really that bothered. Just tell her to really research it so she gets a good surgeon and good aftercare.

Or tell her to get a bigger man!

[embarrassedfriend]

Thanks for the advice everyone. my friend claims she never did any pelvic floor exercises after the birth of her kids. this could be the problem but her DH is an insensitive a*hole (i know him well).

as for pelvic floor exercises i remember the midwife telling me to hold my wee in when i go to the toilet which i told my friend, what else can she do?

i agree about sugery being too drastic and maybe the problem is his not that i have seen IT

[WigWamBam]

The exercise that my midwives recommended after I had dd was to imagine that your pelvic floor is a lift.

Imagine closing the doors as you squeeze, then hold the squeeze for a second, making it tighter and higher as if you were raising the lift by one floor, holding again then raising another floor, then again for a third floor. Hold at the top, then release floor by floor until you get back to the bottom and open the doors again.

[NikkiBFG]

Oooh Lulumama said twunt!!

My turn now - Lulumama

[NotQuiteCockney]

Here is a reasonable page on pelvic floor exercises. A pelvic floor physio mate of mine (or 'fanny trainer' as her DH calls her ) says the cones are only really useful if you are the sort of person who really needs structure for exercises.

Fact is, in the long run, incontinence is a real threat for all of us, and can make our lives really unpleasant, so doing these exercises is a really good idea.

I think they also improve blood flow to the genital region, so can also help with sex drive.