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I have relatively recently had to start using a wheelchair for longer trips and I don't mind it as I'd rather be able to do things in a wheelchair than not go at all but I've had quite a few comments about it. I look relatively young (20s) and don't visibly look like I need a wheelchair or that I'm ill as such. People have said things like "you should be walking you lazy". This may also be in relation to the fact that I can walk short distances so will get out of the wheelchair when it can't fit into places/ is only a short distance.
These are complete strangers and I don't wish to get into the ins and outs of why I have the wheelchair. Does anyone else get these comments and do they just give a withering look or use the not all disabilities are visible line?
Some people are just arseholes. I have one of the “hidden/sporadic” disabilities... I took a walking stick/frame thing to a theme park once when we took our dd’s. I was reasonably ok for most of the day - then suddenly needed it.... well,.. more than one person damn near kicked it from under me in their need to be in front of me. It was heartbreaking that people can be so cruel. My kids were appalled!! Enjoy your days out and try not to let them grind you down x
My daughter uses a wheelchair when she’s tired (has disabilities that aren’t clear to see), she’s only 17 and has had a few comments about looking to well to need a wheelchair etc, which are really upsetting for her. Luckily I’m always with her and my stock answer now if I can’t ignore it is along the lines of my daughter may well improve and I hope your ignorance does too, that normally shuts them up.
Yes it’s wheelchair bingo! Always people say What’s the speed limit Do you need a liscince for that What have you done to yourself etc etc
It annoys me when people say im a Good driver if I’ve got across busy room or something. Like you never say that to someone walking, but if you do something Day in day out is amazing.
My Strategy to cope when people ask insentive questions is just to ignore and carry on change subject or carry on with what your doing. So if you are minding own business having a coiffe someone on the next table wants to know “what’s wrong with you” just do half stern smile and carry on drinking coffe and MN-Ing. Most of time they release it’s not something everyone happy talk about. They don’t feel shy asking so I don’t feel social awkward about ignoring them or changing subject.
Hubby had surgery last Monday and was in serious pain next day as we needed shopping so he asked in Sainsburys if he could use the mobility chair and if someone needed it while we were still there he would swap immediately. The staff know us well and totally agreed as it was obvious he was in pain.
Now he has PKD and a serious injury to his knee so he is allowed to use them anyway but normally doesn't want to take them from people who may need them etc.
When we got home he was quiet for awhile and I was worried something was wrong - didn't realise how true what you've said rang.
He felt embarrass by having to ask for some help, people looked at him thinking he was lazy and not knowing he was in serious pain and walking hurt like hell - he fully agreed he could have managed but I'm near 8 months pregnant and a toddler so k couldn't do much either.
Now he works in a major Housing association and has family with mobility issues and additional support so we are fully inclusive for all people but he was really shocked at how they look for the disability and not the individual who is just getting on with life.
Full respects to everyone- some people are just assholes.
The worst thing is it's nearly always in the hospital! Out and about people are generally really helpful although I don't like asking and would rather get up and get something from a high shelf which does sometimes get some strange looks