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Comments about being in a wheelchair

(15 Posts)
Aubergine0 Sun 17-Jun-18 22:31:03

I have relatively recently had to start using a wheelchair for longer trips and I don't mind it as I'd rather be able to do things in a wheelchair than not go at all but I've had quite a few comments about it. I look relatively young (20s) and don't visibly look like I need a wheelchair or that I'm ill as such. People have said things like "you should be walking you lazy". This may also be in relation to the fact that I can walk short distances so will get out of the wheelchair when it can't fit into places/ is only a short distance.

These are complete strangers and I don't wish to get into the ins and outs of why I have the wheelchair. Does anyone else get these comments and do they just give a withering look or use the not all disabilities are visible line?

MistyReturns Sun 17-Jun-18 22:44:40

Some people are just arseholes.
I have one of the “hidden/sporadic” disabilities... I took a walking stick/frame thing to a theme park once when we took our dd’s. I was reasonably ok for most of the day - then suddenly needed it.... well,.. more than one person damn near kicked it from under me in their need to be in front of me. It was heartbreaking that people can be so cruel. My kids were appalled!!
Enjoy your days out and try not to let them grind you down x

hennipenni Mon 18-Jun-18 21:45:33

My daughter uses a wheelchair when she’s tired (has disabilities that aren’t clear to see), she’s only 17 and has had a few comments about looking to well to need a wheelchair etc, which are really upsetting for her. Luckily I’m always with her and my stock answer now if I can’t ignore it is along the lines of my daughter may well improve and I hope your ignorance does too, that normally shuts them up.

ICantCopeAnymore Mon 18-Jun-18 21:47:42


Since I've started using my wheelchair, I've had nothing but positive comments, people trying to help me, questions about it and where I got it from and lovely, kind interactions.

How bizarre that you'd have the opposite. Where in the country are you?

NotUmbongoUnchained Mon 18-Jun-18 21:50:54

Because people are cunts. And stupid. It’s only stupid people that are disablists and racists.

DaisyDreaming Tue 19-Jun-18 15:09:08

Come up with a joke, I had one and it worked perfectly, they weren’t sure whether to believe me or not 😂

CointreauVersial Tue 19-Jun-18 15:15:22

Yes, try and develop a light-hearted response or a joke. Most people are just insensitive, or trying (and failing) to be polite.

MrsJayy Tue 19-Jun-18 15:18:33

I use a wheelchair for distance and I can't say anybody has called me lazy who is calling you lazy ?

MrsJayy Tue 19-Jun-18 15:20:03

I have had looks if I get out and walk though I just smile and glare it un nerves them

AttilaTheMusical Tue 19-Jun-18 15:26:59

OMG that's awful. What kind of person would you have to be to make a comment like that to someone in a wheelchair?

Akire Tue 19-Jun-18 15:29:24

Yes it’s wheelchair bingo! Always people say
What’s the speed limit
Do you need a liscince for that
What have you done to yourself etc etc

It annoys me when people say im a Good driver if I’ve got across busy room or something. Like you never say that to someone walking, but if you do something Day in day out is amazing.

My Strategy to cope when people ask insentive questions is just to ignore and carry on change subject or carry on with what your doing. So if you are minding own business having a coiffe someone on the next table wants to know “what’s wrong with you” just do half stern smile and carry on drinking coffe and MN-Ing. Most of time they release it’s not something everyone happy talk about. They don’t feel shy asking so I don’t feel social awkward about ignoring them or changing subject.

clumsyduck Tue 19-Jun-18 15:32:37

The more things I read like this the more I genuinely don't understand some people

It wouldn't even pop into my head to make a comment like you have experienced op let alone actually say it !

MrsJayy Tue 19-Jun-18 15:48:08

People have switched from condescending to brazen towards people with disabilities it is really odd

gryffen Tue 19-Jun-18 15:57:34

Hubby had surgery last Monday and was in serious pain next day as we needed shopping so he asked in Sainsburys if he could use the mobility chair and if someone needed it while we were still there he would swap immediately. The staff know us well and totally agreed as it was obvious he was in pain.

Now he has PKD and a serious injury to his knee so he is allowed to use them anyway but normally doesn't want to take them from people who may need them etc.

When we got home he was quiet for awhile and I was worried something was wrong - didn't realise how true what you've said rang.

He felt embarrass by having to ask for some help, people looked at him thinking he was lazy and not knowing he was in serious pain and walking hurt like hell - he fully agreed he could have managed but I'm near 8 months pregnant and a toddler so k couldn't do much either.

Now he works in a major Housing association and has family with mobility issues and additional support so we are fully inclusive for all people but he was really shocked at how they look for the disability and not the individual who is just getting on with life.

Full respects to everyone- some people are just assholes.

Aubergine0 Tue 19-Jun-18 16:11:37

The worst thing is it's nearly always in the hospital!
Out and about people are generally really helpful although I don't like asking and would rather get up and get something from a high shelf which does sometimes get some strange looks

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