PMS, PMDD or Bipolar? Real problems

[dialup2001]

Hello all and thanks in advance for any help you can all give me.
I am with an amazing girl who I love very much and would never give up on despite only having been with her for six weeks, however she (we) are suffering very badly, she has very bad mood swings whilst she is coming up to her period that start from approx 10 days beforehand, no physical violence but just continous verbal abuse, shouting, swearing, telling me she wants me to go, I do not react at all and just go and keep clear of her (is this not the best thing?) and then come the next day, midday she MIGHT apologise by text or phone, she might not, however when we see each other when we finish work she is normally nasty to me again. This lasted 10 days and then come Saturday afternoon, she snapped out and was her amazing self again.

I was so happy and she was very apologetic and I thought we would have another nice span of weeks, I was wrong, come Monday morning, she was offish, she sent a text message saying we should see less of each other and only meet on specific days which broke my heart, I cooked her a nice meal for when she came home and still expected her to be out of the 'possessed' state but when she came in, she was very off with me, didn't touch me once or kiss or say anything infact, I managed to tread on egg shells the rest of the evening and come this morning she was still very off, not wanting to kiss goodbye etc.

She is due to have an endometriosis operation in four weeks time and we are both hopeful that this can potentially clear up some of the problem, she is 34 and doesn't want anymore children.

What can I do? I would like to perhaps keep this thread going with how I get on if that's ok with all of you? I hope this can help others as well.
Regards

[ADarkandStormyKnight]

You've only been with her six weeks but you are talking about her as if she's a long term partner. She's not. Step back.

[dialup2001]

I already leave the second there is any sign of her going into a bad way, I don't spend a great deal of time with her as we both work usually long hours and due to me avoiding her when she is 'possessed' even less time, however this does not avoid the original problem which I would like to help her with as it is very difficult for her as well.

It would be very easy to leave her and move on as a few of my friends have suggested and I accept that a relationship with her is going to be a struggle, however I am prepared to give things a chance and see if we can work together to battle this.

[ADarkandStormyKnight]

Sorry but I'll say again you are not her long term partner. The best thing you can do for her is stop treating her as if you are. She has requested less contact. Stop pressing her and guilting her with your 'broken heart'.

And she is not 'possessed'.

[justanotheruser18]

It sounds like you won't be able to fix this one. And she doesn't want you to either. I know it will hurt but it's best to walk away.

[dialup2001]

Think I may take your advice to be honest and walk away and see if she wants to continue, gives her an easy chance to break but I was more interested in the help for her sake but that can wait until after her and op and for another day.

At the end of the day the last thing I would want to do is cause her more stress or pressure her.

[dialup2001]

...I will just say it was her that asked me out, we had known each other for some time and she IS adamant that she wants to not only stay with me but that she has never been so happy, it is ONLY when she is in her own words 'possessed' that she says different, however some time apart will help her decide perhaps and then we can address this in the future. Thanks for your help

[ADarkandStormyKnight]

Apologies for having been blunt but it really does sound as if she isn't in the right place to start a full-on relationship and you have definitely gone in too quick.

You can still help her by talking her through the help that's available to her and by encouraging her to take care of herself.

[Thinkingofausername1]

I'd walk away. If you are not able to deal with her on a bad day/week or if at least she can't see, what she is doing to you. It will only get worse.

[sadie9]

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who verbally abuses you, swears at you, who sets strict controls on your relationship and whom you often need to avoid for your own safety and sanity?
I don't how her operation is going to fix this.
If she treats you like a punching bag and you say 'hey, happy to be your punching bag' then yeah the relationship will work great.
She treated you like shit all last night, she's not speaking to you today....excuse it away all you like but she's not the ideal partner picture that you have of her in your head.

[Toofle]

Sounds like a common or garden abuser. Who cares why?

[user1300]

6 weeks? So she's had one period in that time?

[LEMtheoriginal]

I think she's sick of you - can't imagine why!

Possessed?