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When does being 'caring' overstep the mark and become a MH issue?

(2 Posts)
SlothfulSusan Sun 11-Feb-18 11:09:32

Does anyone have any experience of this please? Either yourself or with family?

My elderly mum has always been 'caring' to the degree it could be suffocating.
I've kept my distance - I do love her and she loves me.

However, she has become worse lately and her worrying about everything seems bordering on a MH issue. It's called 'catastophising'.

She is caring for my dad who has dementia but she is ruining her own health by not accepting help at home, worried anyone coming in if she is not there might be a burglar, she recently said she didn't want nurses coming in to do blood tests if she went out in case they stole anything or even murdered him. She goes out now and again for a couple of hours, but otherwise won't leave him even though he is reasonably safe and has a alarm pendant. She treats him as if he was a toddler and me and my brother think she is making him worse because she does everything for him even when he could be doing things himself (simple meals etc.) We have spoken to her on this but she doesn't change.

Recently she called the police and local hospitals AND ME, AT MIDNIGHT when she had could not get a reply from my brother's mobile phone one evening, when he was in bed with a bug (which she knew- she just expected his phone to be on as he lives nearby and is their main carer.)

Her 'caring' is exhausting not just for her but also because she shares her worries. When I challenge her she says it's her nature and she can't help it. I'm wondering whether to write to or speak to her GP to see if she needs something to control her anxiety - meds or CBT-
because she is exhausting herself.

HarveyKietelRabbit Sun 11-Feb-18 11:22:02

She sounds very anxious and you can talk to her about this. I would go spare if a family member spoke to my GP though.

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