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DS, 25, very bad headaches & reluctant to see GP

(16 Posts)
Eleanor09 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:13:51

DS, 25, is suffering very badly from now almost daily headaches - and often several a day. Talks of flashes of light so there are some suggestions that some of these, at least, may be more like migraines. Talking the most powerful meds he can get over the counter ie with high/ish doses of codeine.

In his mid teens, he had lots of time off school because of headaches which we though could be attributed to a RTA he had when he was 10 - much of the pain seemed to eminate from the side of the face that was hit. Many, many visits to clinicians and finally someone (from the Migraine Centre) said that as he's hypermobile, it was probably neck headache. At some point, things calmed down with only occasional flare-ups.

But now, here he is and he will not see a GP, claiming that there's nothing that could be done. He's living at home, hasn't worked for several weeks and certainly isn't in a frame of mind to look for work and, if he did, how long would he last with these regular bouts of pain?
So, of course, I am really worried on that score but especially that he is in so much pain and won't, however hard I try to persuade him, see a doctor. I've told him that you can't carry on indefinately with these meds without medical advice, that they are potentially addictive etc. And that if there is a causal link with what happened 15 years ago, that needs (re) exploring.

DS doesn't help himself by, eg, skipping meals and spending ages on his laptop in a darkened room (because of the headaches). We seem to be going round in circles.

If anyone has any idea of how I might persuade him/any suggestions in the meantime, I'd be grateful. Silly questions, I know, but I'm at a loss.

PinkDaffodil2 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:17:12

Lots of headaches can be made worse by using codeine, especially rebound headaches - he really needs to se his GP to rule out anything serious but also get him using sensible painkillers.
Has he lost his job recently? Headaches can be linked to stress sometimes.

Kidsarekarma Sun 12-Nov-17 16:18:29

Would he go to a chiropractor instead of the gp?

Nightmanagerfan Sun 12-Nov-17 16:19:27

He’s an adult but he lives with you so I think you can have a say - book him a GP appointment and tell him if he wants to live with you he needs to go. It’s not fair on you if he won’t help himself and you’re presumably also subsidising his board with you, point this out and say he needs to take responsibility as an adult for his own life.

PLFDiDi Sun 12-Nov-17 21:39:04

I have been diagnosed with chronic migraines. Google Walton centre chronic migraine for the info to see if it might be his issue too. I'm virtually cured following this plus nuitritionalist advise and acupuncture. Would definitely advise seeking a good acupuncturist via the British acupuncture council. Hope he gets the same results as me, 95% recovered but only if I follow the advice xx

PLFDiDi Sun 12-Nov-17 21:39:11

I have been diagnosed with chronic migraines. Google Walton centre chronic migraine for the info to see if it might be his issue too. I'm virtually cured following this plus nuitritionalist advise and acupuncture. Would definitely advise seeking a good acupuncturist via the British acupuncture council. Hope he gets the same results as me, 95% recovered but only if I follow the advice xx

flumpybear Sun 12-Nov-17 21:44:50

He needs help, see your GP first

YouCantArgueWithStupid Sun 12-Nov-17 21:47:45

I’ve been dx with hypermobility & when I get these headaches I find it’s either:

1. I’ve been sitting in a shit position & need to move more.

2. I need a new pillow in bed

ijustwannadance Sun 12-Nov-17 21:49:27

Sitting in a darkened room leaning over a lap top will do him no favours at all.

Firstly it will be putting strain on the neck as posture will be awful.
Next, he needs some to open curtains/switch light on then turn screen brightness on any device to minimum.

Is he drinking enough water? Dehydration is a big trigger for migraine. Also needs to eat regularly.

I agree with PP about the codine maybe making him worse.

When was his last eye test? Even if vision very slightly out of focus it can cause headaches.

Would he go for a walk and get fresh air?

He needs to see gp.

ijustwannadance Sun 12-Nov-17 21:51:16

GP also told me never to use more than one pillow ay night as it puts my neck and spine out of line.

Veterinari Sun 12-Nov-17 22:03:08

It sounds as if he’s depressed which is common with chronic pain. He needs a referral to a pain clinic and potentially a re-investigation if his headaches to rule out anything sinister if they are worsening. Some anti depressant meds can be very helpful at easing nerve pain so this might be worth exploring

Eleanor09 Sun 12-Nov-17 23:46:44

Very many thanks, all. I'm taking this advice on board. And in fact, DS said today that the codeine wasn't helping so I gave him paracetomel and caffeine - and would like to cut the caffeine out but he was in a great amount of pain.

Absolutely - he shouldn't be looking at his laptop on his bed with the light off - says he was simply listening to music but I'm not sure.

This evening he confirmed that the pain behind the eye that took the brunt some 15 years ago, is particularly strong, spoke again of flashing lights & of neck and back pain. He does see a chiro occasionally but feels that physio might target these areas better. Finally, a short while ago, when he emerged, he said that he'd see a GP so I'm going to call his bluff and make an app for the start of the week.

DS has been in a succession of short, temporary jobs. He has academic qualifications but there's huge competition for jobs in his field and he's very demoralised. Has hardly brought any money in since he left uni but that's another story. He should be contributing but needs to sort these ongoing health probs out - though I can't help feeling that if he had a structure, he'd do a lot better.

Thanks again - much appreciated.

GreenTulips Sun 12-Nov-17 23:49:08

Could be unrelated

So either teeth or eye sight

Has he had those tested recently

mayhew Mon 13-Nov-17 00:02:07

My husband had chronic headaches. Several things contributed to improvement.
Stopping painkillers. He was getting rebound headache
Improving posture and flexibility. He did Pilates
Better sleep quality
More exercise. Walking then running
Vit D supplements
All of the above made him less stressed and more relaxed giving a virtuous circle

Happyhippy45 Mon 13-Nov-17 00:03:13

Ummm....look up CSF leak. When you mentioned RTA and hypermobile that immediately made me think that could be the culprit.
Does his headache get better when he lies down? Does caffeine help?
I had a CSF leak caused by a lumbar puncture which was then sealed then re leaked a few months later. Doctor kept saying it was a migraine....fortunately it has been sealed again but it took a while to get diagnosed.
Hope he gets it seen to and figured out soon.

questionbasket Mon 13-Nov-17 09:22:33

I have chronic migraines for days on end, to the point of being sick. And all sorts of things seem to set off headaches with me, I think I'm just prone to them. I really sympathise with your son. I can't see beyond the next day when I'm in the worst of it so it is very demoralising.
I was practically begging for a doctor's appointment because of it though. The doctor did suggest aspirin as anything with codeine in makes them worse, which I didn't know! I'm now taking medication to prevent the migraines and have some heavy duty painkillers should I get one.

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