I think my sister is an alcoholic.

[multitasker]

When does a heavy drinker become an alcoholic? My sister is 27 and has a great job and should be having the time of her life - she lives in Dublin. But I think she has a real drink problem, I've known her to hide drink in her bag when she (very infrequently) stays with me, I know she drinks most nights after work and she gets totally wiped at the weekends. She has had so many scrapes and what should be wake-up calls but she just seems totally set on a life of self-destruction. I'm going up to Mums tomorrow for a couple of days and she is there - well should be - she went out last night and hasn't came back yet. I am torn between rage - my parents are in their 70's and I want to keep their lives free from any more hurt (we lost a sibling in a road accident a few years ago)and trying to help her deal with whatever pain she is in. Has anyone had to deal with something similar - I feel out of my depth and very worried.

[fireflyfairy2]

Multitasker.

We had a very good family friend who started out like your sister.

She used to send me to the shop to buy the lemonade to go in her vodka

She hid booze everywhere & stopped driving as she was never sober enough.

I can understand why you want to sheild your parents, & if it were me I would want to do the same.

Has your sister got a boyfriend? Someone who might see her regularly? Has she been to university? It sounds like typical student behaviour, I should know!! But there comes a time when someone has to take the bull by the horns & ask her if there is something worrying her, or perhaps she is lonely.. do you think you could ask her to chat to you? Are you close?

[kittypants]

my dad is recovering alcholic.its very hard,have you spoken to her?does she think she has a problem?i guess not if shes hiding drink.how long has she been like this?

[Callmemadam]

Do a search on my name and you should find my thread about my sister - guess we are in the same boat .Yes, she is an alcoholic, justlike mine. Whatmakes me so bloody angryis the stress it causes everyone else....

[Carmenere]

If you suspect she is an alcoholic she probably is but I have to admit that when I was 27 in Dublin I used to drink and party loads and stay out for days on end and generally act irresponsibly and dangerously. I wasn't an alcoholic though even though I drank far more than I should have done, I know my siblings used to get pissed off with me and I hardly ever saw my parents. I grew out of it.

I'm not saying she isn't but I wasn't and my behaviour was similiar(although I never hid alcohol)

[multitasker]

She is a radiographer, no men seem to last a long time. I know she has really low self esteem - I think she blames a poor relationship with Dad. She has eating issues - seems to be striving for some sort of control mechanisms - but now the alcohol has become the problem. I'm definately going to say something tomorrow - I had a huge screaming match with her last year - it didn't obviously help - so will have to be a bit more calm.
You know it's the hardest thing, when you see someone in obviously alot of pain and know that ultimately only they can fix it.

[multitasker]

Well that was painful - I went up to Mums and she was there,Mum had been worried as she went out on Monday night for a drink and came home at 4 on Wed. Anyway Mum didn't want me to say anything and them I felt bad as I could hardly look at her - I mean what was I meant to say - let on everythings just dandy??
So when I got a chance before I left this evening I did say to her that I was worried about her drinking and I wasn't the only one, that the only time I see her she has drink on her and that I just hoped she knew what she was doing and felt in control because it looked like a problem from what I saw - stuff like that. She got very defensive and shrugged it off. I left feeling shite and wondering whether talking to her was the right thing or not? Do I just stick my head in the sand like everyone else. It's all just so frustrating. I hope I am wrong about her.

[KristinaM]

sorry

my sister found al-anon very helpful as well

[multitasker]

Well I've said my piece - I won't be battering it to death, she knows exactly how I feel and that if she wants to come stay she has to be sober - I have 3 under 8 and I don't want them seeing her lying drunk on the sofa at tea time anymore.I'm sad in a sense but also glad I was honest.

[multitasker]

Thanks BB, you know I think I can cope with the situation as long as she is not hurting Mum. The balls in her court now - we'll see if she contacts me anytime soon. Thanks again - I'll bear the Al-Anon in mind.