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(14 Posts)
danson16 Sat 07-Oct-17 07:33:14

Hi, needing a little advice. I’m due to have a hysterectomy in 5 weeks, I’m nervous and its so final, I’m a bit all over the place. Is this normal?
I have 2 lovely children, we lost our 3rd last year through really bad fibroids and adenomyosis and I can no longer have children, yet I feel like I’m doing this permanent thing in which I’ll never have more. Its bizarre and frustrating.
I’m on zoladex injections which are helping shrink the fibroids and also simulate menopause symptoms, cause nervousness and hair loss amongst other things.
Has anyone been through this? I feel like a mess at the moment. I know I need the hysterectomy but I just keep thinking ‘what if’ sad

BG2015 Sun 08-Oct-17 18:16:41

I had a hysterectomy in June. Mine was for fibroids. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

I’m 48 and have two teenage boys, youngest is 14 so not bothered about any more babies. How old are you?

lostpurplehoodie Sun 08-Oct-17 18:26:49

I had mine in March. I’m 39 and childfree. I’ve never wanted children and now I mourn that I can’t have them. I still don’t want them - and DH had the snip a good few years back - but the finality of the hysterectomy has messed with me. Like you say it’s frustrating, I know it’s not rational and we don’t want children, but it has been something I’ve had to face up to and been upset by.

On the plus side - and the pluses outweigh the minuses tenfold - it really has been the best decision I’ve ever made. Yes it was major surgery but taking away the constant, very heavy, bleeding from my fibroids and the resultant MH issues has been a blessing. The physical recovery has been fairly straightforward and I know it was the right decision. It doesn’t stop the “what if” stuff, but I know the “what if” isn’t rational and I know my life is easier now the gynae issues are gone.

Lily2007 Mon 09-Oct-17 17:40:34

I'm having fibroid and other issues and dreading them recommending a hysterectomy. I don't want more children but the idea of not being able to upsets me even though it will happen naturally in a few years time and I would be completely panicked if I was pregnant. Plus I feel there will be bits missing of me. grin

If you do want a third have you discussed other options? I'm always a bit sceptical when doctors say you can't have children as they said that about my DH so we had IVF for our first one then second was natural. There are so many fertility options out there now. Having said that I think having two is lovely and there are other ways like adoption or fostering to have children in your life.

I have a cousin who had one though and she recommends it. Sorry not sure I being much help but you aren't alone in the worrying.

JellyBabiesSaveLives Mon 09-Oct-17 21:04:07

I had an emergency hysterectomy when ds2 was born. I'd already been warned to never risk getting pregnant again so I was initially quite pleased - what's the point of a uterus you can't use? And I do really appreciate not having periods - that is just awesomely lovely.

But, after I'd recovered and got through the early days with ds2, I found that it messed with my head, knowing that I didn't have a womb any more. I felt suddenly old and purposeless. And I knew that was irrational but I still felt it.

That was ten years ago. Now I really am old grin.

Be kind to yourself. Talk it out with people. It's a major thing and whatever your emotional reactions are - yes they're normal!

danson16 Mon 09-Oct-17 21:23:52

Thank you everyone, it is so lovely to see that I am not alone in these feelings.
I go through stages of this will be fine, then to oh no I feel like I will be giving something up, even though I have been told I can’t possibly have any more. Its so crazy!
I’m on countdown now and trying to focus on other things but now and again I get a really bad day.

danson16 Mon 09-Oct-17 21:27:09

@BG2015 I’m 34, previously been told I am too young but I am so in need of it. I’m currently on Zoladex injections to shrink the fibroids, talk about hormone imbalance!! My uterus was pressing on my lungs before I started treatment it was like I was 7 months pregnant. Really not a good look lol!

Lily2007 Tue 10-Oct-17 00:25:31

34 is young to be going through this so it's no wonder you're emotional.

My cousin was only 29, luckily she had already had two kids, but she does recommend it, if you can recommend surgery. grin I guess it gets it over and done with and no periods but have to admit I'm not brave enough.

MyBeloved Tue 10-Oct-17 19:03:01

I'm due to have a hysterectomy in 15 days. I have 2 grown up children and know I don't want any more - yet have had some odd feelings with regard to the choice being taken away from me.

I'm glad I'm having surgery as I need my life back but I think it's normal to feel like this.


Shakey15000 Tue 10-Oct-17 19:54:05

Bizarre isn’t it? I’ve just had anal sphincter repair (nice) and am due to have a hysterectomy and multiple prolapse repair in six months time. I’m already “mourning” the loss of my uterus and this is from someone who never wanted kids, got accidentally pregnant, had horrendous/barbaric birth, requested and got sterilised few months after the birth.

Can’t consciously relate to the feeling of loss at all!

BG2015 Tue 10-Oct-17 21:45:11

Danson that is far too young, no wonder you are feeling so emotional.

Mybeloved - I’m waving and wishing you speedy healing vibes. Hope all goes well with your op. PM me if you want to.

Ropsleybunny Tue 10-Oct-17 21:47:45

Hystersisters is a really good site. I found a lot of good advice and support when I had my hysterectomy.

Ropsleybunny Tue 10-Oct-17 21:48:28

MyBeloved Tue 10-Oct-17 22:56:37

Ah thanks BG! I hope you're well into your recovery now and enjoying life to the full.

Hyster Sisters is indeed a great site. I'm on a Facebook support page too, which I'm finding of great benefit.

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