If someone gave you the following list what would you think was up with them?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Stiff neck
Sore right shoulder continuing down back
Old knee injury gave way again whilst hovering and although no pain, leg has felt tingly since and annoyed that it still is weak ? worry I?ll never be able to do all the things I once did
Trouble sleeping. Slept well for 3-4 days then wham, a whole night of anxiety and couldn?t get comfy
Tired - even when I get a really good nights sleep
Feeling down and just not myself ? have lost myself a bit
Make excuses not to go to things
Occasional awful migraines that knock me sideways for best part of a week
Can?t really spout off to anyone about it as feel guilty if I feel like I can?t cope
Miss my old way of life
Lack confidence to do things
Feel like I could break in two, no strength, no stamina unlike when I used to be Miss Superfit
Do lovely things to cheer myself up but then the effects aren?t as lasting as I?d hoped for
No network of people really and folk have got their own problems
Find it hard to make friends and never did in the past
Toddler group is now a hassle because of DD?s behaviour
Worried that I?m not doing enough to keep her amused
Don?t want to go back to work but would like some more me time and would feel guilty putting kids to a childminder for half a day because I?d feel like I was letting hubby down
Don?t cry as much and even when I do it?s minimal
Love kids but days can be a drag
Very sensitive about stuff ? can flare up, especially during conversations with Mum
Hope it?s not PND cause I won?t take drugs and I don?t have the network of people needed to get me through it.
Coped with worse things in the past and am wondering if I?ve got a lot of old hang-ups that have just been buried for a while
Don?t think my hubby would appreciate me being depressed, or anyone else in family. I?d be told to just get on with it cause they did in their day
Feel like the only person who understands me is my pal, unfortunately 250 miles away

[NoNickname]

Apart from the first three, and the migraines, this sounds a little like depression, whether post-natal or not.

It also sounds very much like being a Mum...

[lulumama]

after giving them a big hug and a cuddle and a cup of tea...

i would say, stress, possibly depressed, stuck in a rut...needs lots of nurturing and smiles, and maybe ADs, certainly some self esteem boosting and some counselling to sort out all those sensitive things...

and needs some physio to sort out those aches and pains, the neck and shoulder thing might well be related

you need to really talk , talk, talk about all of this

stress and depresion can manifest pysically, with aches, pains, feeling generally unwell

[Currypowder]

I agree with lulumama. Sounds like me a year ago. I took myself off for counselling. Like you I had coped with worse in the past so this took me by suprise.

Counselling helped me no end. Helped me deal with some past stuff too that I thought was over and done with.

I paid for mine as I didn't think I could wait for an NHS course. However if you have a good GP then go and talk it over with them and see if they have an in-house person.

They may well run a couple of blood tests too. Anaemia/low thyroid (both very easily treatable) can make you feel exactly as you describe.

Basically I think you need a good MOT (get put up on the ramps!) Very important to go to a good GP, one you can trust will take you seriously.

X

[TenaLady]

I would say depression love, get yourself to the doctors NOW!

I must say that putting down in print like that must of done you the world of good. I would keep a copy for the doctor.

[noddyholder]

Chronic stress/anxiety causes these symptoms too

[peanutbutterkid]

I would say "boredom" and "getting older".

[Kbear]

I think an hour to yourself every few days might sort you out. Can you fit in a swim? Or a walk? Or a sauna? Or an hour in the library? Whatever floats your boat.

I find letting myself have an hour sometimes, instead of feeling guilty that I should be doing something with the family or work or home is very therapeutic and lifts my mood and the associated aches and pains and headaches seem to fade.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

I would say depression, without a doubt. Existing medical conditions can be aggravated by depression, and vice versa. Hence migraines and aches and pains being significant to you.

I think a trip to your GP would be a good idea.

[Greenshoots]

I think it sounds like depression as a result of general physical/emotional burn-out. The feeling of being utterly swamped comes across really clearly in your post. Poor you

I would definitely go to the doctor, take this list of symptoms with you. Also is there any way you can carve out a bit of regular time to relax/unwind? I've gone out a few times myself in the evening lately, just for an hour or so - one time I took a crap novel and went and sat in a pub garden with a drink. Another time I just walked to Sainsburys and back . Could your dh take the children off somewhere for a couple of hours at the weekend so that you can have a long bath and a rest? What do you really love doing, what rejuvenates you? Could you start saving a little at a time to go and see your best friend on your own, maybe for a weekend?

It is hard, I think lots of us have felt the way you do now.

[RosieMac]

Hi VG,
Why would you be "letting your hubby down" if you put your kids in with a childminder for half a day ? Surely the whole family will benefit in the long run if you're happier in your skin ?
Rx

[Iklboo]

What does hubby do to help you & children (and I DON'T mean goes out to work). What does he do to help out with the workload at home?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

I was footering around tidying up files on the PC when I found the list. I wrote it back in October 2005 just prior to going to the doctors. She did all the tests and they came back negative but she did suggest putting kids to a childminder. They are hard to come by round here but I found one who took the kids for 4 hours and it was bliss.

Roll forward to now. The childminder withdrew her service and I thought it wouldn't matter too much as DD was now at nursery and playgroup for 4 half days a week. However, I was feeling as bad as ever (though the sore neck had cleared up) and went to docs last week. Again she took blood tests and again they came back negative. And that was it. Not much other support other than I should take time out for myself. This is easier said than done as DH works away a lot and works hard even when he is in the country. Doc did say that if I still felt the same in a while, then to come back and then we could look at other medication. I think she is reluctant to prescribe ADs and tbh I am reluctant to go down that route as I feel they would be treating the symptoms rather than the cause. Feel a bit left high and dry though. Nonetheless, I have an appointment with the HV for a routine check up for DS on Monday so will mention how I feel then. I will also ask if they have a counsellor in the practice otherwise I shall go private. I shall also get some St John's Wort and see if that helps and I shall also actively get out at least once a week to do some fitness thing and have said so to my DH. Shan't commit to a specific class as there is no telling when he is here or not so shall just pay as I go at the Council sports centre which has really good facilities. That way if I can't make it on a Tuesday then I can pop along on a Thursday instead.

I think I've been in denial for quite some time. Ho hum!

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Iklboo, compared to some other DH's he's pretty good. Can still drive me nuts at times though. He will do things like the dishes and put on a washing (one cycle fits all), hang out clothes, bathe the kids etc. but there are niggly wee things that irk me sometimes and I feel like I have to ask for help, especially with the kids, rather than it just being offered. He is great with the kids but in a limited way. Only once has he ever taked DD off to the swimming by themselves. He never takes them out for a walk with just him. I have explained how I am feeling and have really had to lay it on thick because I get the impression that it would be much more convenient for him if I didn't have any problems. He would also see depression in a very negative way, that is if he accepted that diagnosis at all. He can stick his head in the sand a bit when it comes to the blatantly obvious.

The other week I had a really crap time and he offered to do everything at the weekend and allow me a lie in. He did to a degree but when it came to dinner he just sort of took the things out of the fridge, asked a couple of questions and then just left the stuff there for me to deal with. I didn't btw, and chinned him about it and said the whole helping out thing means taking responsibility for conjuring up meals too. So, he can only be supportive to a certain extent then he gets a face on. And I get pissed off because then I think how fecking ill would I have to be for him to just listen more.

I guess that's why I've been in denial for so long because neither he nor the rest of my family would do depression very well.

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

bump for the afternoon crowd

[EdieMcredie]

Almost definitely depression. Speak to your GP.

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

And another bump for the evening crowd

[suejonez]

possibly stress, possibly depression, possibly a bit of both

[toadstool]

Maybe it is depression but it looks a bit as if it's also about having no time to yourself at all. If you can't consider making some time out for yourself, how are you going to see a counsellor? Can you try negotiating to have a morning a week just to yourself, or even popping out for an hour on your own a day your DH isn't working, so you can just do nothing (no shopping, no running around, just a restful walk or sitting in a coffee shop)? Nothing to be guilty about btw - Kids need a relaxed parent, not a stressed-out and frustrated one.

[hippipotami]

OMG, you can hover???

Sorry, trying to cheer you up.
Sounds like a case of mild depression/anxiety/lack of me-time.

I prescribe a dose of pampering, a talk to a sympathetic GP and take it from there.

Take care of yourself.

[suejonez]

I was thinking that it also sounds like you're suffering from a dose of motherhood as well!