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So scared...

(24 Posts)
FiveFeetHighandRising Wed 17-May-17 17:39:01

I just need to vent a bit...

Found out last Friday that I have a rather large hernia... referred to a surgeon. Really gross and creepy (insides are meant to be inside!). Doctor warned me to get any pain checked out immediately.

True to form late Saturday night I got a stabbing pain in my side so went to A&E to check it out. Nothing to do with the hernia but they did an abdominal ultrasound to see if there could be s reason... results were all fine but showed an object in my liver that they were unable to identify on the ultrasound.

Standard blood test showed slightly raised white c blood cells which the doctor said were not surprising since I have a gaping hole in my abdominal wall.

I have now bee referred for CT scan to identify it.

So scared they are going to find something ominous...

On top of all this I've got an additional ultrasound to see if there is a reason why my periods have stopped. Even though I'm 42, have had peri menopause symptoms prior to this (night sweats, weight gain around middle, moody, seem to be growing a fur coat...)I'm thinking the two are related and the outlook is not good.

To be honest , im absolutely terrified. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate. I have nobody to talk to in real life and , yes, I have been Googling blush.

No other symptoms.., no weight loss ( quite the contrary ), no loss of appetite, not tired, etc.

But I can't shake this crushing feeling of impending doom...

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Wed 17-May-17 17:52:58

I have no experience of this, but I didn't want your post to go unanswered flowers hopefully someone who has had something similar will be along shortly to resssure you

charliebear78 Thu 18-May-17 11:16:15

I cannot help with your symptoms either but I do know how it feels to be so scared there will be something terrible wrong..
I have been having stomach ache and other problems for several months-google scared the crap outta me!
This sent me into a terrible case of anxiety which I still have not fully recovered from.
I have had lots of tests done and nothing as been found-yet the waiting and indeed going for the tests is another worry in itself.
I am now waiting for a colonoscopy as I am still so worried.
Hang in there and know that in anything is to find they will do so-at least you are now being looked after and seen.
(this is what I tell myself)

FiveFeetHighandRising Thu 18-May-17 18:05:57

Ah, I'm sorry you are going through similar. The symptoms of raging anxiety are horrible. I can't eat, sleep and am 'feeling' all sorts of twinges/aches/pains which are confirming my worst fears.

FiveFeetHighandRising Thu 18-May-17 18:06:28

And thank you Leslie for your kind words.

FiveFeetHighandRising Thu 18-May-17 18:37:55

I hope you get sorted soon Charlie!

Crumbs1 Thu 18-May-17 19:23:06

Well hernias aren't related to cancer or indeed periods.
If you had liver metastasis (which I guess you're worrying about) your bloods would be unlikely to be normal. You would quite likely have raised liver enzyme levels.
Endometrial cancer tends to present as bleeding not amenorrhea.

It's horrible waiting for test results and google has a lot to answer for but there has been no suggestion of anything malignant so please don't assume the worst when there is no basis for doing so.

Saltandchilli Fri 19-May-17 07:18:42

Ah, op, such a horrible feeling. No point in telling you not to worry, it didn't help when people said it to me. Hopefully it won't be too long a wait until you get the scan. Are you still in pain?

FiveFeetHighandRising Fri 19-May-17 16:55:22

One jug of barium in waiting for my liver ct scan. Just found out they are doing the whole abdomen too. Terrified doesn't come close. The anxiety has kicked the snot out of the objective as per the very rational comment by a previous poster (much appreciated too).

No pain. Unless you count a knotted stomach, etc.

TheFaerieQueene Fri 19-May-17 17:01:48

Hope all is ok and the reason for your symptoms are nothing to worry about. flowers

Draylon Fri 19-May-17 18:33:13

They always CT scan your whole abdomen, five. Standard procedure.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 19-May-17 18:57:44

Yes, abdomen is standard. They wouldn't focus in on just your liver. It might be helpful for them to get an extra view of your hernia anyway smile

I hope your scan went well anyway flowers fingers crossed you don't have too long to wait for the results

FiveFeetHighandRising Fri 19-May-17 19:39:21

Thanks folks. Waiting now. They said about an 1 hour to 1.5 hours for the results to be available but I need to check into ER for them (not in UK)) and wait until I can be seen.

I have such a feeling that it's going to be bad. Nothing from how I feel physically just kind of like my luck has run out. I've worked so hard to get to where I am now and just coming out the other side and happily settled. Still skint mind, but happy.

Thank you for the distraction...

Frouby Fri 19-May-17 19:44:31

Ah OP offering a sweaty paw here to hold while you wait for your results.

If I am worried about something I always think what's the worst it could be. Deal with whatever could be the worst outcome mentally and then put a line under it. If it's something I can change the outcome of I change it. If not I accept it and all the consequences and move on mentally.

unapaloma Fri 19-May-17 19:51:39

If you had liver metastasis (which I guess you're worrying about) your bloods would be unlikely to be normal.
I know you're trying to be reassuring, but I don't think the OP mentioned having had cancer, so suggesting she may be concerned about it spreading to her liver is not very helpful :-(.
Please try not to worry OP, there are lots of harmless things that show up on scans, which can be treated quickly, or don't even need treatment - its most likely that this is something harmless. Try to put it all on hold until you know what the situation is.

BusterGonad Sat 20-May-17 07:21:40

Any news Op, I know what it's like waiting for results.

Draylon Sat 20-May-17 16:19:47

Any news, OP?!

GlitteryFluff Sat 20-May-17 17:36:57

Hope all is ok OP

SherlockHolmes Sat 20-May-17 17:42:37

Hoping it's good news for you OP

lougle Sat 20-May-17 17:43:38

I hope you are being well looked after, fivefeet. Googling is a sure way to boost your anxiety. We moan about the slowness of the NHS, but it's all the more frightening when it happens quickly, isn't it? flowers

FiveFeetHighandRising Sat 20-May-17 20:20:20

They are sure it's a cyst and nothing to worry about. The reasoning being that if an ultrasound AND CT scan don't show up anything ominous it's all good. However they want to see if they can identify it definitively from an MRI... so I get to repeat the process...

The speed which they are checking things is scary too as someone noted. I'm not in the UK so the system is different -referrals/testing times tend to be much shorter .

Thank goodness the wait times aren't the same as UK or the anxiety would finish me off.

Thank you internet strangers for your kindness.

Draylon Sat 20-May-17 20:37:27

Five health care systems cannot win, can they?

If they keep you hanging on forever- you're so scared it might be bad but you don't know.

If they are financed well enough to act quickly, you assume it must be bad because they've acted so fast, obviously they're thinking (cancer).

It's a cyst. It's Nothing To Worry About.

But they, like the NHS, have to throw everything at you.

Please don't eyeroll about the waste-of-time MRI they're offering, when the time comes (I know you won't!). Maybe 0.00005% will demonstrate something worrying. But I bet it won't. CT and US findings are pretty certain in this respect! Modern HC services are obligated to <spend tens of thousands of pounds that could be better utilised elsewhere> investigate everything.

Glad it's a simple cyst.

And, for fear of MN wrath- might you use this experience to try to be less anxious about your health, next time around?

FiveFeetHighandRising Sat 20-May-17 22:44:14

Okay, so the MRI is standard... definitely no eye rolling from me. I'm freaking grateful and lucky to live somewhere that has such accessible, thorough and fast health care that is publicly funded (for the most part).

The (almost) crippling anxiety is a real issue though that is apparent.

SherlockHolmes Sun 21-May-17 19:18:03

Glad it's all sorted OP.

Now you need to learn to relaaaaxxx ........

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