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(11 Posts)
Hjb2410 Mon 24-Apr-17 08:32:03

Hi all
I hope this is ok to post.

I have basically been suffering pretty constantly since December with tonsillitis.
I have managed to see a consultant and had funding approved so I can have my tonsils out (wahey)

I know this is daft but I just need some confirmation I've done the right thing and don't know who to talk to:

So my problem is I have been given an operation date of the 19th may 2017. I have had to stop the contraceptive pill due to risk of clotting.

My best friend is getting married on 24/6/17 and her hen do is 2/6/17 to 5/6/17.

They advise a minimum of two weeks off work so the two weeks would get me to my best friends hen do.
I have been open and honest with her saying I need to have this done but can't guarantee I will be at the hen do. I can only make that decision nearer the time after the op.

I have just got a message from her asking if I could change the date of the op for after the wedding.

I do understand where she is coming from but I really need to have this done it's made my life a misery.

I know it's a trivial problem but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing and would like some other opinions.

If there is anyone who has had it done; any advice etc?

Thank you in advance.

bigmouthstrikesagain Mon 24-Apr-17 08:39:18

Two issues here. First you have given your friend tmi - telling her all this detail about your v necessary op has given her the impression you want her opinion. Next time only involve people you want interference from.

Second. Have the op as scheduled - if you want it. I had my tonsils out age 13. It was pretty straightforward. A bit of bleeding post op but I was back to school within two weeks. Before I was off for two weeks every winter with tonsillitis they had to come out!

So it is up to you. Not your friend. Do what you need to do, she has no right to tell you what is best. You are most likely going to be fine for the hen do.

Isadora2007 Mon 24-Apr-17 08:42:08

I think you sound like you want to have the operation as it is having a big impact on your life. So just say your dates are not negotiable.
It sounds most likely you will be okay for her Hen- as it is a whole weekend is there a chance you can opt in and out of activities so you can pace yourself?

BiggerBoatNeeded Mon 24-Apr-17 08:42:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1wokeuplikethis Mon 24-Apr-17 08:45:15

You'll feel rough for about ten days after the op. You'll need time to rest properly, so time off work is necessary and help with kids if you have them.

You'll prob feel a bit cabin-feverish and relish the chance to go out on the hen do. But if you don't or there's any complications hen you've given the bride a heads up. You could reschedule the op, but then you could have tonsillitis over the hen do or wedding so....

You will probably be fine and your friend is being a bit confused and getting more stressed as her wedding is only weeks away.

You have to put your health first.

Jecan Mon 24-Apr-17 08:48:27

I was rough as anything for about 10 days after but by 2 weeks I was absolutely fine. You should be good to go to the hen do as planned

NavyandWhite Mon 24-Apr-17 12:41:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite Mon 24-Apr-17 12:42:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hjb2410 Mon 24-Apr-17 15:42:06

Thank you all for your messages.

Just to confirm I wasn't asking my best friend for her opinion I was merely telling her that there could be a chance I may not be able to make her hen do.

Very surprised to see she wants me to delay the operation!

My husband asked me what my response would be if it was the other way round. I replied that I would say do what's right for you and have the op don't miss it because of a hen do.

I did say to her that the activities we have planned (she hasn't got a clue what we are doing as everything is a surprise) I could not participate in.

I'm glad I'm not on my own in how I was feeling. I'm definitely having my operation in May; i think I'm getting another bout of tonsillitis now so the sooner they are out the better!

Thank you all ;) x

Justmuddlingalong Mon 24-Apr-17 15:46:43

She's thinking that her wedding is as important to everyone else as it is to her. It's not.

Hjb2410 Wed 17-May-17 22:35:23

Update: Operation has been cancelled due to the NHS Hacking. Next date j have been given is the 2/06/17, so the hen do.

Argh don't know what to do!
I need the op doing but don't want to miss the hen do.
Damn the hackers!

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