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Vegetarian by myself

(12 Posts)
rainbowsockstoday Mon 03-Apr-17 17:47:34

I am vegetarian by moral choice. I'm also entirely dairy free for the same reasons. Generally I disagree with the industries and have chosen not to eat meat, dairy or any other by products.

However it's a choice I have made for myself and therefore will still allow my husband to eat whatever he wants. I even cook it for him. My son is dairy free but I let him have meat when he wants to and at other people's houses.

My DH though has decided enough is enough and said that the reason we aren't conceiving is because of my diet and the reason our son is so needy is because of HIS diet. I know this is a load of rubbish but don't know how to convince him that I can keep going and that I'm doing it because it's what I believe in not because I want to be difficult.

A thing to consider though is that my mum has been in his ear about how I used to be picky with food and this is a control thing. I also used to have eating disorder issues and she said that's why I do it too. I agree that it's another form of control but my weight has remained stable and it's not restrictive.

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 03-Apr-17 18:06:14

A healthy vegetarian/vegan diet shouldn't stop you conceiving. I don't know if your diet is healthy or not, I have no way of knowing that! Being dairy free isn't going to make your son needy either - I really can't work out what the rationale for that is.

rainbowsockstoday Mon 03-Apr-17 19:10:51

His rationale is that my son is two and a bit and breastfed still. Even through the night. He thinks that makes DC needy.

My diet is very varied and healthy but he said enough is enough and I have to eat the same as everyone else. I cook the same meals for us all but mine is using substitutes if need be. He joins me twice a week in eating vegetarian (tonight was lovely!)

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 03-Apr-17 19:23:25

He doesn't get to tell you to eat meat, that's not on.

You're breastfeeding quite a lot still, which might be affecting whether or not you can conceive.

What does your DH think is needy about your 2yr old? Is it just the breastfeeding?

nocoolnamesleft Mon 03-Apr-17 21:07:49

In most ways YANBU. However, YABU in saying that you "still allow my husband to eat whatever he wants". You, reasonably, don't want him to dictate what you eat. But phrasing it that you allow him to eat what he wants sounds like it's up to you what he can have. Which is also wrong.

rainbowsockstoday Mon 03-Apr-17 21:58:04

@nocoolnames left he's got no willpower and is currently 3st over his target weight and doing no exercise. He's got the gnr in September and has told me I am in charge of all meals to make sure he eats healthy and he will start running. Today he managed nearly 2miles in 45mins and had to stop a few times to rest. Me "allowing" him to eat certain things is exactly what it is. I let him have weekends off for a full English and beer and generally whatever he wants. I'm also fully aware he gets himself a McDonalds on the way to work meetings too and don't say anything.

I'm saying enough is enough I suspect is a reaction to me making him start running and training because he really doesn't want to. But he was really mean!

rainbowsockstoday Mon 03-Apr-17 22:03:11

@assasinatedbeauty I asked my gp about that and she said as Ive had my periods for two years now I'm fertile. My hormone tests are also brilliant and there's no medical reason why I shouldn't conceive. His 2% sperm count needs help though and needs a change in lifestyle though.

I don't know how old DC has to be till he can have a milk alternative like almond milk or coconut milk so as long as he's happy right now the milk keeps going as he's only just old enough to start weaning anyway. Plus he's dropped a lot of feeds and shortened them to sometimes only 30-45 mins.

Sunshineandlaughter Tue 04-Apr-17 19:35:17

Not conceiving has absolutely nothing to do with being vegetarian. I've been veggie 24? Years and have two beautiful children which I conceived one very easily. I did however struggle to conceive the 2nd whilst I was still breastfeeding- my periods also came back very early and I had very regular normal periods but everytime I got pregnancy I had early miscarriages. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding I conceived and carried my second without issue. I didn't believe that breastfeeding was to blame because I knew lots of people who continue to conceive and carry pregnancies whilst doing it - even tandem feeding in some cases. But it did seem to be the cause for me.
Incidentally a high fat diet good - full fat milk, cream etc - you don't need to eat meat though!!

Sunshineandlaughter Tue 04-Apr-17 19:37:04

Oh also my hormone tests were normal too but for me I just couldn't seem to get pregnancy and feed at the same time

Goldfishjane Tue 04-Apr-17 19:38:52

He's being an arse
My vegan grandma had 9 children!!
Sadly some people will use any excuse to criticise vegetarian and vegan diets.
Will you be taking hormone tests, he can't dispute those.

rainbowsockstoday Tue 04-Apr-17 21:45:29

@goldfishjane we have had hormone tests and mine are all spot on. His sperm test is only just 2% of useful swimmers though and his diet is definitely to blame for that as it's high fat content is from bacon sandwiches, biscuits, cooked breakfast, fizzy drinks, sweets.

Goldfishjane Tue 04-Apr-17 22:13:12

Oh dear
So he's just being irrational and he has proof of it!
I'm afraid I don't know what you can do about that.

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