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Arthritis - too much to have a second child?

(5 Posts)
Lara44 Mon 03-Apr-17 09:39:13

Hi All

My DH has a diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis. He currently manages it with naproxen, getting between 3 - 6 flares a year. Pain and intense fatigue are the main symptoms, and they do knock him down. He works a stressful, long hours job but freelances so that he can try to pace things a bit.

We're at the point where we're trying to decide about another baby. We're both getting older and DS is 3 - it feels like a now or never situation. I'm worried that having another DC will add too much noise, stress and tiredness into the family situation and make life much harder for DH. I work in a really stressful and precarious sector with loads of work travel. Is it completely selfish to think about adding another kid into the mix? I know we're mad but we do love our jobs and would be lost without them, so I don't think part-time for me is an option (DH is already freelance). No family nearby unfortunately.

Would love to hear any experiences from arthritis sufferers or their families that might help to bring clarity to the situation - either way.

Thanks!

iwanttobemissmarple Mon 03-Apr-17 09:50:20

RA sufferer here. We had a second dc but decided against a third as it would have put too much strain on me. I had a lot of support though from my family. It was definitely hard when they were little but they are now teens & help out.

I'm in agony today but don't need to worry about them getting fed etc.

Don't think you ever regret having a child but regret not having one iyswim.

rosie39forever Mon 03-Apr-17 14:42:08

Hi no opinion about another child but if you dh has psioratic arthritis then he should not be managing it with naproxen alone. My dh has had PA for many years and unless it's halted with drugs such as methotrexate at the very least ideally biologicals it will do irreversible damage to his joints.
3-6flare ups per year is not good as every flare up will cause damage,
Has your dh got a rheumatologist? It's took my dh a long time to get the right drugs but since he has not a flare up for 5 years, complete remission.
So I guess if your dh gets proper care then yes another child is doable,
Good luck.

Lara44 Mon 03-Apr-17 20:57:18

Thanks for all the messages, they are much appreciated.

Rose39, my DH is extremely against any disease modifying treatment. Strangely (as he has had juvenile arthritis his whole childhood) he is in complete denial. I've been prodding him for 11 years about treatment but we've reached an impasse and I can't get through to him. He has a top rheumatology Prof. that he sees every 6 months. Ultrasounds have been showing little damage in his legs, but I think his back is degenerating (MRI next month).

Any tips for raising the issue with him again?

rosie39forever Mon 03-Apr-17 23:06:58

Hi, maybe you can encourage him to think about the future, he may not be too bad at the moment but over time PA will irreversibly damage his joints, once the damage is done there is no going back.
My dh is on humira which is a biological and it has totally changed his life, he is totally pain free and it has stopped the disease In its tracks.
Also naproxen should not be used long term as it destroys the stomach lining and has a pretty major side effect of possible sudden death, any decent rheumatologist would not prescribe long term because it only addresses the symptom and not the cause, maybe he needs to see a different doctor.

I don't know why he would dismiss disease modifying drugs if they will totally halt the disease and give him a pain free life, hope you have a bit more luck.

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