Treatment options for exhaustion?

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

After:

1. 2 miscarriages
   
2. A hypermesis pregnancy
   
3. A sick baby who nearly died after birth
   
4. 6 hospital admissions totally 8 weeks of hospital stays with said baby plus 100s of drs appointments and all the stress and uncertainty that comes with this
   
5. Another child (aged 2) to look after
   
6. A family death, redundancy and
   
7. An unsupportive husband who has worked full time through this
   

All in 18 months, I am exhausted. Like really clinically exhausted to the extent in my dc's last hospital admission i was bedridden for a morning with a racing heart, dizziness and so so tired.

So what I can do please? Recommendations as to how to get back to health, feel better and also stop catching every illness going ATM?

I am already getting as much sleep as I can but the toddler and baby both wake and I average about 3 hours a night in hospital - I'm exclusively breastfeeding and also leaving the baby alone in hospital is not something I'd ever do (I don't judge those that do though).
My diet is pretty rubbish and I exercise on rare chance I can. I also walk when I can. I've just started taking probiotics.

Can I check myself into hospital (and bring the baby with me) for a few days either privately or through the nhs if/when I next 'collapse'? Can you hire private nurses at home to help out for a bit? We have no option for more extended family support btw - we have help from my parents once a week but they can't do more and my inlaws just don't help. Toddler goes to nursery 4 days a week already which does help.

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Sorry should say TIA, any recommendations or anyone that's been through the same thing and come out the other side gratefully received!

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Oh I should also add we already have a cleaner and I've just started asking her to come twice a week for a bit.

[flumpybear]

Honestly .... I'd get my family, all of them, plus OH to look after the kids and get away for a long weekend - whatever you love doing (me=spa ... others love more adventurous activities lol) you NEED a break!!!!!!! Do it!!!! For you!!! Just do it!!!

[notagiraffe]

OP, my heart goes out to you. Probiotics are a good idea. Also take:
Vit D spray
Tyrosine (amino acid - from health stores)
Vit B complex
Floradix or Feroglobin liquid iron.

To stop catching everything I massively recommend First Defence nasal spray. I've used it all winter and not had a single illness, despite the rest of the family keeling over with colds and stomach bugs. My DDad says it works better for him than the flue jab ever did.

That's a bit of a list, but I now regularly take all this stuff and am so much better than before. I was bedridden with exhaustion a year ago and now feel fully recovered. But if I forget and skip them after a couple of days I find the shattered feeling creeping back in.

If breastfeeding makes you thirsty, drink smoothies and home made banana milk shakes not just water. Wish I'd realised that. I drank gallons of water that stopped me feeling hungry then wondered why I was so zombie-ish.

If you can afford a cleaner twice a week, can you afford good quality prepared food? Something like Cook who do pre-cooked homemade food of high quality.

It doesn't last forever, but those sleepless nights with a small, sick child are horrendous.

[Autumnsunshinebaby]

I really feel for you. Could you ask or pay someone to fill your freezer with individual portions of cooked food eg casserole etc that need to be defrosted and flung in the oven to cover you for main meals for a while?

[Batwomanrisesagain]

Been exactly where you are now and I don't know what the answer is. It got better but for me did last a few years (it's the admissions that break you). I used to fantasise about a night in a hotel, I really should have done it, DH was totally supportive of it, but I was so worried about my ds needing an admission whilst I was gone. That's what would have helped though. I also started a gratitude diary when I was at my lowest which helped.
Big hugs to you.

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Thanks all for your suggestions - all v helpful! Yes it's totally the admissions that break you - takes about a week to recover after. A pre packed hospital bag a great idea - saves my husband 'packing' for me and baby bringing nothing we need! Also definitely need to give vit d spray and first defence spray a go. Going to give cook a go - heard really good things about them. I'd love a night away - baby will take enough from a bottle to last one night without dehydrating so maybe I should when she's well enough - not sure if I would spend the whole time worrying tho rather than relaxing!!
Really glad to hear most of you out the other side - it's horrendous isn't it with kids - you just have to keep going!
Has anyone been hospitalised with exhaustion or is that just something that happens to celebs?

[PickAChew]

Getting rid of number 6 would stop you from having the ordeal of 1 or 2 again.

But, less flippantly,make sure you're looking after yourself with good nutrition, adequate exercise and sleep. Spell out in detail what you need husband to do when he's around.

And I;d still be tempted to get rid, even if he could make himself useful at home.

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Oh and photos - yes - I do try and take some in hospital but usually forget - it's her babyhood that's passing in hospital and I need to remember to capture it good and bad

[Batwomanrisesagain]

I think it's celeb code for depression? I went back to work after 8 months and spent a few years managing a demanding job and admissions, I think sick leave would have been a good option in my case. Looking back although I was certainly completely exhausted I was probably depressed to but didn't want to admit it, medication would have helped, perhaps something to consider?

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

I have been tempted to split from husband several times - he's definitely added to my workload/stress but has kept the bills being paid. Ultimately I know not to make a decision in a time of stress though so will leave leaving him for a few years!

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Does depression medication make you less tired? Not really sure how it works? Would def consider it if it helped anything!!

[calc]

Having been through similar and ending up completely exhausted I can thouroughly recommend taking high strength vitamin D supplements. doesn't do.much about most of the things on your list but all are easier to cope with when not utterly exhausted. When I got out of the shower and lie on the bath mat as I didn't have the energy to dry myself.

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Batwoman no idea how you managed to work as well...

[calc]

"I used to" should be in there somewhere

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Has anyone been hospitalised with exhaustion or is that just something that happens to celebs?

Yes,I was ,it was horrendous. Similar circumstances then didn't sleep for 5 days straight.

No advice except it does get better x

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Sounds horrid dame - did they just give you sleeping tablets?

[Destinysdaughter]

Have you tried meditation? That can help both calm and energize you. There are lots of guided meditations on you tube and also apps.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

No, medication as at that point sleeping tablets wouldn't work. I got extremely poorly then and needed anti depressants.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Magnesium is very good ime for over tiredness and relaxing your nerves an that awful strung up feeling.

[witwootoodleoo]

Agree with vitamin D. Also a good quality zinc complex like Viridian will help ward off bugs. Stocking the freezer with good quality easy food will help you too as has been suggested.

Do you have the money to invest in a night nanny for a short while? Even if it were just for a few nights a week for a short period knowing someone competent was caring for the children close by so you could be there in an instant if required might allow you to get some proper deep sleep at home.

Essentially you need to do what you can in terms of the basics of self care in the time you have - eat better, sleep better and look after yourself as much as possible

[sksinfood]

Go to the GP and ask for blood tests (or do it privately if need be). If your diet is crap it would be worth checking your iron, b12 etc and vit d levels amongst others. If these are low, no amount of spas or sleep are going to help. And if they're low, you can get them on prescription at much higher levels than over the counter meaning much quicker results.

Food: any way to get someone to stock your freezer with healthy home cooked food? Even if enough for 2 or 3 nights a week? Or slow cook things yourself? Or get DH to(!)?

Yoga (a gentle one) to combine meditation and movement. If you can't get to a class there are some good ones on YouTube (Yoga either Adrienne is one). This isn't just airy fairy, it's been studied widely and helps reduce stress hormones in the body - which are exhausting for us to run on.

And time off in whatever form would make you happy.

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Thanks all for suggestions. I can see why meditation might work for some but it's not for me as my exhaustion isn't mental/stress based really at the moment (though that is there) - it's more physical - lack of sleep being the biggest one. Maybe once I've got the basics - sleep food, immune system sorted then the next phase will be meditation/yoga well being type things. Right in fact that will be my plan - a night nanny for a night and tackle food/diet first. Really hoping we can stay out of hospital for a bit as impossible to get those basic things sorted there

[Twinkletwinkle1977]

Dame sounds awful - I can nearly imagine it as I was practically there after 5 nights of 3 hours sleep a night and the worry of my sick daughter - I was just at the reality gets a but blurry phase!