PMS - does it get worse with age?

[tinymeteor]

I'm mid-late 30s. Never used to suffer much with PMS although I was on the pill for years which probably damped it down. I had a few pill free years without any issues. Then had DD. And now PMS is killing me.

About three days a month I'm basically boiling with rage. It's all I can do to remain civil with DH. Everything is through a clenched jaw. All my nerves are jangling, I can't bear listening to two noises at once, everything feels totally bleak. Then the next day, poof - all fine again. My hormones are making a monkey of me, and it's getting worse. Is this normal, is it perimenopause, or is it not good at all? I'm especially worried as my mum had the kind of PMS that made her literally suicidal once a month, and only a hysterectomy cured it.

[reallyreallyreallytired]

I don't have any advice but I'm exactly the same. It's getting worse too.

[tinymeteor]

It's shit, isn't it? I know my cycle well enough to recognise what's going on now, but I still feel completely batshit at the time.

[BretonStripe]

I'm 35, on Yadmin, and have two kids aged 2 and 5.

I'm exactly how you describe OP. I hate that I'm like this for a day or two every month. Hate that I take it out on my family. I can tell when it's going to happen by looking at how many pills I have left.

There's another thread on here I just read where someone is taking antidepressants to help...I might actually speak to my GP about that option, even though it sounds a bit ott.

[BretonStripe]

*Yasmin

[paulapantsdown]

Yep I hear ya. I have got much much worse over the last 2 or 3 years. It frightens me sometimes just how "mad" I feel. Like anything could tip me over into an actual mental health emergency. It's only that I track the dates and can recognise that these feelings are hormonal that stops me taking them seriously IFSWIM.

I find that the anger / rage part of it is usually totally unreasonable! I get the hump about things that I should not be cross about. The sadness and general feeling low and lonely are simply an amplification of how I feel ALL the time, just lots worse.

[ifcatscouldtalk]

I'm 37 and get like this on and off for a week or more before my period. I avoid situations that'll make me feel worse. I really want to move house but where usually I am atleast grateful for what I have, when pmt strikes I just feel the most dissatisfied miserable person on the face of the earth. I think about the things that haven't panned out how i expected and think life is shit. I get my period and within a day I feel fine, even things that aren't ideal don't have me fuming and logic steps in again. Sorry OP I wish i knew the answer. I'm trying for a healthier lifestyle to see if the rage reduces.

[mightymouse76]

Hi tiny
It definitely got worse for me- the last year especially. Throughout my mid to late 30's, every 2 or 3 cycles would be bad with a flat mood leading to total despondency (the type where you're capable of taking apart your career/relationships, etc) over a few days, then like you say as soon as a period came, I felt weirdly calm and renewed.

I mostly used a copper coil throughout so it wasn't skewed by additional hormone. I did go onto a Mirena coil for a year and that really helped. Personally my periods didn't stop but they did space out more and the PMS was far more mild.

I had that removed at 38 to TTC, and come 39 the PMS was a real stinker. Despondency came back with a vengeance, and to spice things up I started to get really anxious too, almost feeling mad in the days leading up to a bleed and around ovulation, so every couple of weeks I felt shit. I'm generally pretty mellow so it freaked me out a lot to feel so out of control psychologically, even if I understood the mechanics. I thought it must be perimenopause but fell pregnant in September (at 40) with first, so the PMS misery has been temporarily averted.

I don't know whether you've tried but would you consider the Mirena? It doesn't agree with everyone obvs but it might be worth a go- it definitely made my PMS less destructive...

[clumsyduck]

No advice sorry
I'm exactly the same except it more like 4-7 days of it . I never used to get pmt at all
Slightest things annoys me immensely

[mightymouse76]

I feel weird recommending a hormonal contraception as think the impact of the side effects of the pill and mini pill (on mental health in particular) are vastly underestimated, however the Mirena is so low dose and the hormone localised that the benefits certainly outweighed any downsides for me.
My sister (46) also had horrific PMT and has had back to back Mirenas for 10 years, saying they have probably saved her marriage/relationship with kids (her periods became mercifully infrequent and very light as a result). She said if anyone told her she couldn't have one again, that person would have to run really really fast in the opposite direction to avoid getting hurt

[tinymeteor]

Thanks everyone, it's comforting to know it's not just me. I can't believe how little information there is about how your hormones can affect your mental health. Seems like it just gets filed under women's problems, so tough luck. I'm going to look into Mirena, but I'm hoping to try for another baby next year so I might just have to weather the PMS for now.

[loveyoutothemoon]

I am on the depo injection purely for intolerable PMT. Did wonders for me.

[Smartleatherbag]

I'm the same. Used to be mildly grouchy, now I'm absolutely incandescent with rage for a week.