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What have I done??

(7 Posts)
wowowee Tue 25-Oct-16 11:11:57

To begin with, there's only 3 of us in this family - DH, DS (14) and I. When DH and I first met, we weren't in the best health conditions and were quite large. DH hated his body, so I encouraged him to go to the gym, after DS was born. Of course I couldn't go as DS was newborn. However as he reached nursery age I decided to change and go along with DH. By this time DH was much slimmer and had quite a nice physique, so I felt like I was slacking. Everything sounds normal so far, right?

Until... DH took it too far. He goes every day after work, uses Saturday as a whole for the gym and Sunday as a 'bulking' and resting day for his muscles. As this progressed, I quite frankly began to become afraid of DH. Muscles on top of muscles, an ego bigger than anyone else, and all of his clothes are expensive because they have to be tailored. He has images of Jay Cutler (a bodybuilder) jaycutler.com on our wall and I think his body might be larger than his. DH is 6'4 and about 140 kg - in comparison I'm 5'5 and about 75 kg. I'm really happy about my body now, but he is nearly double my weight. I didn't even know a body like his is possible! His arms are larger than my head and he is a monster in bed; we can't do anything because his legs alone take up the space of our king size bed - now we have to have two beds in our room! Luckily other things haven't shrunk like I've read online. This 'beast' used to be a chubby, kind and loving person. I'm happy that he's happy with his body, but he is now hard, egotistical but still loving. When we got together I never knew that I'd be this terrified of him. He does make me feel protected when we're outside along with the stares in public but I just keep imagining what would happen if we fought; I would die! But that's not where it ends...

He's brought DS into it! Like most boys, DS wants to be big and strong to impress the girls at school and I'm really worried that he might become like DH. DS is really into PE - mainly rugby so he was already quite fit. DH brings him to the gym on Friday and Saturday and physique is all DS thinks about! I really don't want DS to become focused on this, especially since his GCSEs are coming up, but he already has past puberty and is ripping through his clothes already! I've talked to DH about it, but he doesn't see a problem and just flexes his bicep in my face but his body has stopped us from having another child. DS also thinks it is best for his body, but he is spending his pocket money on protein shakes, weights etc. For Christmas he has asked for a home gym, but all of this is really just horrible. I should have given DS a hobby before this happened. What monsters have I created?

MakeMineADouble81 Tue 25-Oct-16 12:23:32

Has he given you any reason to be afraid of him? I only ask because you mentioned you are scared of him a couple of times. As far as time in the gym goes you could speak to him about spending more time with you and explain you miss doing things as a couple but unfortunately you can't actually stop him bodybuilding. However you do need to dicuss your DS with him. Your DS is still growing and you want him to be healthy and not go to extremes. Also, you make a good point that he will need time to study etc. While your DH is a grown man and can make his own decisions you have every right to input when it comes to your DS.

GloriaGaynor Thu 27-Oct-16 11:59:48

Protein shakes aren't recommended for under 16s afaik, and overuse can damage the kidneys.

Why are you afraid of your husband just because he's bigger? Is he more aggressive now? Do you suspect steroid abuse?

BusterGonad Thu 27-Oct-16 12:15:15

Are you really afraid of your husband? And why? If I were you I'd be proud of my son, it's better than having a teenager going out drinking and eating MacDs.

GloriaGaynor Thu 27-Oct-16 12:51:38

Being overly preoccupied with appearance is never healthy for a teen, male or female.

GloriaGaynor Thu 27-Oct-16 12:57:48

And you need to keep an eye on your son's protein levels.

drinking too many high-protein shakes can lead to protein toxicity, which has dangerous side effects, or unwanted weigh gain. TeensHealth reports teens who consume too much protein can experience calcium losses, dehydration and kidney problems. Overweight and obesity are concerns for teens who take in too many overall calories from protein shakes.

sadie9 Thu 27-Oct-16 14:13:27

There is a disorder called Muscle dysmorphia that affects males.
If your son starts choosing the gym before school work, or socialising with friends then that can highlight a problem.
It's not your fault though.

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