Had a abortion yesterday

[debliz5]

Hi all,
After lots of deliberation, tears and anguish, I descided to terminate my pregnancy. It was one of the most difficult decesions I've had to do, but I know it's for the best. I've got 2 small kids and just couldn't face at the moment a third one. We live abroad without any help from family or even friends and thought it wouldn't be fair on any of us, to add another child at this stage (speacially when things with DH are not the best). I definitely want a third (maybe 4th?), but this one came at the wrong time.
Yesterday, I came home relieved and very sure of it all, but today this relief is combined with the fear that I won't be able to get pregnant again. I was reassured by all the doctors I consulted that most chances that it wouldn't, but still would like to hear your stories (if any) about having kids after a termination.
Please, any of you who are against abortion, don't lecture me and those of you who have bad stories to tell, please don't tell me either.
I just need some reasurances please...

[beansprout]

You poor thing, it's a very hard thing to do. I had to terminate years ago but still have ds. There are loads of people on here who have done the same. You made a brave decision and did a difficult thing. I hope you are ok.

[april74]

mysil had an abortion and then went on to have 2 children.

[nutcracker]

Hi deb, I had a termination for similar reasons to you. I had Dd1 who was just over 2 and Dd2 who was 4 mths old when I got pregnant again.
We had money problems and I had pnd and so decided to have a termination. It was the right desicion but it's still hard so don't think that you have to get over it just like that just because it was your choice to go through with it. Be nice to yourself, you have made a very hard desicion and been through a tough thing.

I had no problems getting pregnant again and had Ds just over 2 years later.

[poppiesinaline]

my sister had an abortion and went on to have 2 children.


never an easy decision to make. Hope you are ok.

[10weeksandcounting]

You poor thing - I had one when I was 20 and now have two with another due in April.

Don't torture yourself about it - you made the right decision for you. Some people can't deal with it - my mum was a complete cow and have never quite forgiven her even after 14 years.

Big hugs - best wishes for the future oxoxoxox

[liquidclocks]

I know I can't say anything to make you feel 'better' but a few things might help slightly -

You're probably on a hormonal downer right now - all those 'happy' pg hormones will be draining from your system.

Do allow yourself too feel sad and grieve if you need to, even if it's the right thing for you now.

Likelihood is you will have another one but remeber there are never any gurantees in life, even without abortions.

[pucca]

Debliz5....I had a abortion almost 6 years ago, and now have 2 children. Took 6 months to get pg both times.

It is a awful decision to make, and emotionally very draining but it will get easier iykwim.

[LmO]

I had a termination 12 yrs ago then had a health scare 3 years ago and told may not be able to have children. My dd was born last Oct after natural conception and have just found out am preg again. Took me a long time to get over it. Not sure what to do now.....its such a hard decision either way.

[mummydear]

I had a termination at 18 yrs old and went on to have my first child at 35yrs followed 2 years later by no 2. No problems conceiving either.

A hard decision to make but you will find support on here if need be.

[debliz5]

Thank you all for this. It's very comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. My 2 were conceived very quickly and I only hope I won't have problems when we choose to have another one. It's funny, but now all I want to do is get pregnant again, just to make sure I'm ok... stupid...

[bumblebeee]

Hi Deb, also had abortion 6 yrs ago and now have 2 beautiful children. I think it's totally natural for you to feel as you do now, try not to worry

[Quootiepie]

Hello,
I had an abortion 2 years ago, and got pregnant within 6 months According to statistics, abortions are less risky than carry to full term. {{hugs}} xXx

[zephyrcat]

Hi - I've been wanting to start a thread on this all day today but had no idea where to start. I found out today that I'm pregnant and I am going to have to terminate. I feel like crap. I have 3 beautiful children, the youngest being 10 months. I feel sick at the thought of getting rid of what is essentially one of them

I had 3 cs and the last one was horrendous. I could not physically, emotionally or mentally face another cs. We could not afford another baby and it is hard enough with 3 let alone another so soon.

I've been told I can go to a family planning clinic on Monday night but I have no idea what to expect.

I hate this.

Debliz5 I can totally understand your situation, and if you are still around could use a friendly ear and some advice as to what to expect...

[bumblebeee]

Oh zephyr . I also had horrendous caesarian with my 1st (2nd was fine thankfully). How far preg are you? Before I had miscarriage last time, I was told by DR about a medical abortion whereby you take some pills and go into hosp but I think that's only up to 9 wks or something like that. As I said had abortion 6 yrs ago, if you want to know more details then let us know

[zephyrcat]

I'm 6 weeks going by lmp so only 4 weeks in literal terms. I'm praying that I get offered the option of taking a pill as I am feeling that I can handle that better psychologically than having something physical done.

What a mess

[bumblebeee]

Def worth asking about it, sooner than later. I would agree that although still an abortion none the less it's less emotionally traumatic than a surgical one in some ways. Have a look at this

[WideWebWitch]

Zephr, sorry to hear this. Are you sure it's what you want? The pill isn't necessarily the easier option iirc, at least with the surgical option it's all over v v quickly, with the pill it can take a few days I think.

[PoppiesMum]

zephyrcat -I accompanied my best friend to her termination. She was 7 weeks and chose to have the surgical procedure rather than the pill as this was the quickest and most straightforward route. It took 5 minutes and then I could go and sit with her in the recovery room before she went home.

My understanding (apologies if it's wrong) is that taking the pill can be quite traumatic as you have to go through the bleeding at home and then have a return trip to the clinic.

I hope you are given the advice you need from the FPC and that you can choose what is right for you at this difficult time.

[bumblebeee]

Yes, surgical is over v quickly and under GA so you don't have a clue what's gone on. I think whichever way is hard emotionally.

[WideWebWitch]

Poppiesmum, you're right, I've had a surgical, it is v quick. And you can have local anaesthetic which means you can go home an hour later.

[PoppiesMum]

debliz5 - I hope you are feeling ok. I know of a coupke of people who have been through a termination. They have gone on to have children in the future with no problems. I wish you all the best for the future.

[tribpot]

Sympathies to both, what a horrible situation to be in

[bumblebeee]

Didn't know it could be done under local actually. Hope the link helps with a bit more info & wish you all the best

[bumblebeee]

You too deb

[zephyrcat]

Thank you for that link. I don't know why I assumed taking a pill would be any easier.

WWW in a different time/place/situation then I would never have a termination but I just can't do it. Maybe the surgical option is better. Oh I don't know. I'm thinking about dp being off work, what to do with the kids...