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Is herpes a really big deal?

(11 Posts)
over89 Sat 15-Oct-16 00:07:07


I was diagnosed with herpes type 2 back in march. I became so ill with it, it was horrible. I felt disgusting - still do.

I've only ever slept with 5 people, all relationships too. Never had a one night stand in my life so I know I've just been really unlucky to get it.

The person that gave it to me became a bit of a massive twat once I was diagnosed. He started saying I must of already had it etc. He's slept with loads of women lol. Anyway we stayed together for a while but it didn't work out.

I'm not ready for another relationship yet but when I do, I'm absolutely petrified I might meet someone I really like and this might scare them away.

I've had a couple of outbreaks since being diagnosed but now I'm on daily medication to try and prevent it.

Sometimes it just makes me feel so down, I feel disgusted with myself. When I do have an outbreak it makes me feel so ill and weak :-( I'm taking daily vitamins etc to try keep my immune system up. I also have a disabled child too so when things get bad with him, I find I get an outbreak due to stress and being run down.

Now I'm sat here crying thinking no one will ever want to be with me knowing I have all this baggage. I could obviously never be with someone without telling them my condition. I would just absolutely hate to pass this on, I couldn't live with it. I know there are extra precautions to help prevent this but I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to sleep with me knowing there's a chance they might catch an incurable disease.

I don't want to be alone all my life, I'd love to find the right person one day.

Has anyone else been through this? X

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay Sat 15-Oct-16 00:14:54

Oh you poor thing. If it helps at all, I have two girlfriends who contracted herpes at uni - they're both married now, with children. They met their partners after they contracted the disease.

I really feel for you. I caught an STI from a boyfriend once and I absolutely raged at the injustice - of course no one deserves an STI but I'd only slept with two people! He tried to tell me I'd got it off someone else too but the truth came out eventually.

Have you thought about seeking counselling? It might help you gain strength and move on. A diagnosis like this is a big thing - don't feel bad about needing help to deal with it. Wishing you lots of luck and strength flowers

Spice22 Sat 15-Oct-16 00:19:08

Oh no please don't feel that way. The right man will love you regardless and if this scares him away, then he's not for you.

sallysparrow157 Sat 15-Oct-16 01:07:02

My best mate caught it in uni, she's now happily married (not to the person she caught it from, and had another long term relationship in between) and has kids.

I have a cold sore at the minute, which is exactly the same thing, just on a different bit of the body. It's a bugger of a virus, it gets you when you're already feeling shit and run down, then makes you feel like crap as well as being damn sore! But it certainly won't stop a decent person from loving you, wanting to have a relationship with you or wanting to have sex with you

BummyMummy77 Sat 15-Oct-16 01:25:40

I'm live in the US now and it's something like 90% that have the facial herpes/coldsores virus. Ds got it when he was 6 months. I don't think it was from me but not sure. Either way I tore myself up for a long time.

You have to be honest with any future partner but in one way it's a good way of weeding out the nice, committed, strong guys from the fly by night assholes. smile

fempsych Sat 15-Oct-16 08:00:05

Hey, I have mouth cold sores and genital cold sores. I felt pretty similar to you when I first found out and it took me some time to find a way of accepting it. I have always had fairly recurrent outbreaks which doesn't help.

However...I have always told partners and it hasn't been a problem. I see it as a way of weeding out men I wouldn't want to sleep with/have in my life anyway. If they can't cope with cold sores then it's an early red flag.

I'm married, have a child and another one on the way. It doesn't get in the way of anything really. So, yeah it sucks, but you can't change it so find a way to adjust and remember hundreds of thousands of people are also living with it.

over89 Sat 15-Oct-16 08:11:38

These stories are so encouraging, thank you to everyone that has taken time to reply. I know I need to give it more time and I know the first year of been diagnosed is the worst. I'll try be more positive about it and yes, I suppose it does help weed the good ones out from the bad. I definitely do not need another bad man in my life x

over89 Mon 17-Oct-16 08:12:00

Has anyone else had experience with this? X

over89 Mon 17-Oct-16 08:12:23

Has anyone else had experience with this? X

over89 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:21:15


siennabale234 Wed 07-Dec-16 15:26:57

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