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DH Devastating News - prostate

(100 Posts)
dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 13:30:45

I wrote a few days ago to say that DH had been called for an urgent appointment after an abnormal examination and follow up PSA test (for prostate.)
Found out today that the PSA level is 6006 (should be 4) and prostate cancer diagnosed. Too late for any surgery. Hormone treatment starting immediately. Bones scans/ biopsy etc to follow.
Dr said it will almost certainly have spread and it is incurable but they will look to try and manage if poss.
Can anyone give any hope or info?

Powergower Tue 11-Oct-16 13:33:06

No advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your sad news. I'm sure someone will pop along soon with useful advice or info.

Queenbean Tue 11-Oct-16 13:34:10

Nothing useful from me but bumping for you and flowers for you and your dh

Tonsiltennis Tue 11-Oct-16 13:35:49

That must be very shocking. How old is he?
The scans and biopsy will give you far more information, and whilst locally advanced disease is no easy ride, it's far more common to die with it not die from it.
Are you under a good teaching hospital, and do you have private heathcare?

ScaredFuture99 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:36:11

Has your DH seen the consultant or onlly the GP?
Because a diagnosis like this with a biopsy/scan etc... Sounds surprising to me.

Prostate cancer is the one cancer that is unlikely to spread and cause much problem. Even my FIL (who had the surgery but was given only 3 months live wo it) is still doing very very well 6 years on.

ScaredFuture99 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:36:38

Sorry it should have read a diagnosis WITHOUT a biopsy/scan etc... Sounds surprising.

Starryeyed16 Tue 11-Oct-16 13:39:07

Hi op my DF has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer his PSA was over 600 it's spread to his bones and he has started on injections. He has just recently had an MRI to determine staging. He is having a biopsy next week we are sort of in limbo at the moment until we get the results so I do feel for you it's a horrible position to be in flowers. How old is your DH, I would contact macmillian they have been amazing they organised so much wheelchair extra grab rails a stair lift, support groups and holistic therapys at their hub in the butter wick.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Tue 11-Oct-16 13:39:44

I don't have any experience of prostate cancer, but I do have incurable bowel cancer, so can understand a bit of what you are going through.

You are obviously in shock at the moment. Just take it minute by minute if you need to.

I know it sounds mad, but you will feel better when you have definite scan and biopsy results, and a treatment plan. Even if it is bad news, the uncertainty of waiting for results is generally worse than knowing.

Try not to get ahead of yourselves yet. Wait until they tell you exactly what you are dealing with. (Easier said than done, I know!)

Depending on the exact type of cancer, where it has spread etc. there are often a number of possible treatment options to keep cancer at bay for a long time.

All the best to you and your DH flowers

Murphysgirl Tue 11-Oct-16 13:41:25

So sorry to hear this. Just wanted to reassure you that my dad was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. He had a Gleason score of 8. He was treated with brachytherapy and seven years on he is doing great. His PSA level is undetectable and he is now back to annual check ups. He needs to urinate more frequently than he did but otherwise is very fit and back to running his half and full marathons again. Has your DH seen a consultant?

dovesong Tue 11-Oct-16 13:51:39

My grandad had many more good years with hormone treatment after being diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer. He is no longer with us but it was for 'normal' age related reasons as he was in his mid 80s (he had hormone treatment from mid 70s I believe - and continued working in the garden for hours every day, carpentry, decorating their house, had a great quality of life, holidays, wonderful family Christmases, very fit and hearty). All my good wishes for you and your family, OP.

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 14:08:41

He saw consultant today

LilQueenie Tue 11-Oct-16 14:12:22

Sorry for the news OP. As I understand it prostate cancer comes in two types. One that can be aggressive and spread and one that is so slow growing that old age is likely to catch up before the cancer can.

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 14:30:31

Yes - they've already said that with such a high reading it won't be the slow growing type sadly

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 14:31:32

Yes they've already said that with such a high reading it won't be the slow growing type sadly

Insertwitticismhere Tue 11-Oct-16 16:02:15

Hi dahliaaa have sent you a DM

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 16:24:45

Thank you so much for all the messages. I feel very shaky and it has helped reading them.
DH is 60 - he is a bit older than me and we have teenage DC's. DD has had problems with severe anxiety in the past so I am very concerned about impact on her.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Tue 11-Oct-16 18:30:34

Is your dd still at school/College? If so they may have a counsellor available to offer her support.

Crystal15 Tue 11-Oct-16 19:01:02

This happened to an old family friend. Still going 15 years later. Often ser him walking his dog and he does have a good quality of life. Try not to panic OP flowers

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 19:28:55

We'll talk to the school re extra support - thank you.

crystal I think there is s big difference between 'slow growing' and advanced/aggressive - do you know what type they had?

dahliaaa Tue 11-Oct-16 21:19:57

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Sending good wishes for your treatment flowers

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Wed 12-Oct-16 18:09:12

No problem at all dahliaaa. I hope your husband gets more information soon. It's definitely worth letting the school know what is happening. All the best flowers

dahliaaa Fri 14-Oct-16 23:06:59

I am just bumping this for over the weekend in case other people have experience of advanced prostate cancer. Thanks

Twodogsandahooch Sat 15-Oct-16 07:37:52

Dahliaaa - there are lots of treatment options for prostate cancer even when advanced. Hormone treatment usually works very quickly. As your consultant will have told you surgery and brachytherapy is unlikely to be helpful in this situation.
What is the next step for your DH? Is chemo being considered? Thinking of you.

Starryeyed16 Sat 15-Oct-16 07:41:35

Hi op my DF just had his results from his MRI and it's all in his spine. His consultant wants to continue with the hormone injections for now and doesn't think chemotherapy or radiotherapy isn't needed just yet so there is treatments available, he has been given 1-2 years with treatments. Did you get in touch with the macmillian nurses they have done so much for my DF already especially their pain team they have been fantastic.

Youcanputitinapie Sat 15-Oct-16 10:44:55

Hi Dahliaaa,
FIL was diagnosed with advanced prostrate cancer in 2013, it had spread locally, too late for surgery. He had hormone treatment and then some kind of targeted radiotherapy over the course of a year. Now he carries on as normal and has periodic blood tests to monitor whether he continues to have a good response to the hormones. So far so good. He was late 60s when diagnosed and the consultant told them it was not a death sentence. Even though surgery wasn't an option they have a lot of treatments and there are others to try when this one stops working, which may not be for some years.
It's very scary and not good news but actually in terms of the treatment FIL did not suffer as badly as other family members treated for cancer. He was at times uncomfortable and tired, and he had to go to the hospital every day (outpatient) and not stray too far from a loo, but the treatment is so much more tolerable than chemo/major surgery and he was able to maintain a normal if restricted routine.
Very best wishes flowers

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