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Being a living kidney donor

(7 Posts)
Misspollyhadadolly88 Mon 12-Sep-16 19:37:47

This is my first post so bear with me!
My parents divorced when I was 8, up until that time I had a good relationship with my father, after their divorce, he blamed my mother a lot and lost sight of being a father. We ended up losing contact when I was a teenager but sorted things out when I was about 16. For the last 12 years out relationship has been fine, we don't see each other that often because we live on opposite ends of the country but we talk fairly often and see each other when we can.
Over the last 9 years he has developed kidney disease, initially it didn't affect him hugely, he's very fit (ex professional sports person) however in the last six months he was had cataracts in his eyes and has been struggling with his health. Last month he took early retirement. His kidney is now functioning at 19% and they have decided to put him on the transplant list and he now regularly a transplant coordinator.
So much background but I think it's all relevant.
My dad has a very common blood type but is from mixed parentage, he's white but donors with his parentage are rarer. (Hope that makes sense).
My father has two children, my brother doesn't have the sane blood type. I do.
This is where the whole crux of this matter starts. The hospital have indicated that a living donor would be the best possible scenario for him. He hasn't actually asked me to do it but I know he asked my brother so I have a feeling he will. I don't know what to do. I have an appointment talent with my own gp this week to discuss the implications of me doing it and for their input as to the implications of me not.
To be completely frank, I'm terrified of doing it and I'm terrified of not.
I'd really love some advice from anyone who has been a living donor or has received and organ. If also love any advice in general!

clematisflower Mon 12-Sep-16 19:47:22

When he asks you I would suggest to say you are not sure and would like more information from his transplant co-ordinator, they will be able to talk to you about your concerns and answer any questions you may have so you can make a fully informed decision.

A couple of things I would think about:
If you don't do it your Dad can wait on the transplant list for a deceased donor. This will mean his quality of life is less until he gets a transplant and from what you've said he is likely to need dialysis whilst waiting. It's difficult to predict how long he would need to wait for.

If you do donate there are small risks for you associated with the operation to remove your kidney.

(I haven't either donated or received a kidney)

Misspollyhadadolly88 Mon 12-Sep-16 19:54:28

Thanks for replying!
Yeah, that's exactly what I need to do. It's a horrible situation to be in because I know that they would rather do the transplant before dialysis starts. Dialysis weakens immunity etc. So time really is of the essence. My fears in terms of myself concern my quality of life afterwards, will I manage a pregnancy, what happens if, God forbid, I need a kidney. But, the thought of his quality of life decreasing until he is housebound is terrifying.

Jennywallpaper Mon 12-Sep-16 19:57:07

Hi, I haven't donated or received a kidney either but I was born with only one. I have been able to live a full and normal life. I'm not sure if this is something you are concerned about if you do donate but just wanted to let you know that only having one kidney never negatively affected my life. I hope your father gets well soon X

Misspollyhadadolly88 Mon 12-Sep-16 20:06:30

That's really helpful to know. Thank you xx

Jennywallpaper Mon 12-Sep-16 20:19:11

I've just noticed your previous reply as well, I have also had 2 DC and my kidney did not cause any problems, I just made sure to make all my hcp aware as soon as possible so they could monitor it incase of any infections. They're may be different risks from being a donor but hopefully you will get all the information you need to make your decision. Good luck! smile

Misspollyhadadolly88 Mon 12-Sep-16 20:21:27

Great to know, thank you xx

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