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EMERGENCY - Toilet problem, help needed

(217 Posts)

Hi,

So embarrassed to be posting this - but as stuck on the loo in agony I'm desperate.

I have a stool that I can only presume is the size of a marrow attempting to pass my body. I'm on the verge of saying it's more painful than childbirth (and I had a 4th degree tear with no pain relief at that moment so I know what pain is!). I have attempted to go several times today and it gets so far out and then gets stuck. Like I cannot push anymore because I feel like it's going to rip me apart. I get contraction type waves trying to push it out but it won't come. Because I'm straining, there's then blood too. Earlier I tried using a tissue to grab and pull it out (clearly that worked well!!!!)

I HAVE to get this out tonight as I'm at work tomorrow and I cannot phone my boss to say I'm not coming in because I have a giant shit stuck up my arse!!!

Can anyone at all give me some suggestions to help clear this beast?

PS it's caused by medications that I'm on, a crap diet and probably not enough fluids when exercising this weekend. My routine has never been regular as such (once a week would be 'normal' but I'm sure I only went a few days ago!)

Thank you (and please don't laugh)

threeelephants Mon 30-May-16 21:27:08

Hot bath always helps me. Have you got someone with you? Could someone get you some lactulose or similar?

ApologiesToInsectLife Mon 30-May-16 21:29:00

Oh dear poor you! Can you get your feet up on a small footstool while your on the pan? It can help with the pushing. Nightmare for you.

Doinmummy Mon 30-May-16 21:29:07

You poor thing. Is there a chemist open late to get some glycerine suppositories ?

Wanker of a husband is here - can't imagine he'd feel remotely inclined to go out of his way to try to help me?....

winnybella Mon 30-May-16 21:30:04

Glycerin suppositories.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Mon 30-May-16 21:30:26

Pure orange juice. Then coffee.

If that doesn't work you may need some meds to soften it.

iniquity Mon 30-May-16 21:30:44

Vaseline the rim smile

Doinmummy Mon 30-May-16 21:30:46

I think it needs attacking from the bottom rather than from the top if you get my drift . If it's stuck then everything else will just build up above it.

QOD Mon 30-May-16 21:30:48

Ahem

I have to use Vaseline or similar on the finger ... I really hope you're not the poo troll ... as I get similar (also due to.meds)

Twilightpirate Mon 30-May-16 21:30:55

Poor you! That sounds horrible!!

Do you have any haemorrhoid ointment lying around? If so, put a generous amount of that "up there" and around the entrance. It will numb the pain and also acts as a lubricant! Saved me after the birth of DC1 when even the thought of going to the loo was enough to make me feel faint!
Good luck!!

Off to find kids foot stall... Thanks!

If not, I'm guessing I'm off to the pharmacy (hope it's open)

PrincessHairyMclary Mon 30-May-16 21:31:29

Orange juice, big glass of water, put your feet on a step stool.

chocdonutyy Mon 30-May-16 21:31:39

Glycerol suppositries help in this situation, I'm presuming some sort of lube may do the same thing and also lifting your feet up on a stool/few books so you are kind of squatting should assist a little 😊

steppemum Mon 30-May-16 21:31:45

sorry to be blunt, but you need to get something up your bum to soften the pooh. the glycerine suppositories sound good

Doinmummy Mon 30-May-16 21:31:58

Try putting Vaseline up your bum

Orchidflower1 Mon 30-May-16 21:32:06

Can you rub some Vaseline or something similar around the opening? What about getting off the toilet and squatting over a bowl? - this helped dd .

chickendrizzlecake Mon 30-May-16 21:32:35

Have you got some Anusol or other haemorroid cream you can use to numb the area? If you've got blood you've probably already made a tear or small fissure in your passage and getting this motion past the tear is going to be grim sorry, but those creams really do help!

IMurderedStampyLongnose Mon 30-May-16 21:32:38

Try pushing up on your vagina and in front of your back passage to help guide it out.If you can't get out for glycerin and it's coming out a bit cut your nails short and stick one finger up and try to break it up a bit.Good luck,it can be grimsad

Cocolepew Mon 30-May-16 21:33:19

Pu up feet up on a stool or something and lean back to open your bum hole. Then push on your perninum (dp) or around that area, that sometimes pushes it out.

Doinmummy Mon 30-May-16 21:33:20

Phone OOH doc

camelfinger Mon 30-May-16 21:33:28

Poor you, it sounds very painful. Good advice above re Vaseline, raising knees and suppositories. Would it hurt too much to jog about a bit? Running always churns up poo for me.

Trying the Vaseline already - sitting on the loo waiting for the next wave to come and urge to push!

I almost wish I were a 'poo troll' as then this wouldn't be happening to me.

It happened once before this bad after my 3rd son. In the end it was so bad I couldn't get off the loo - found blowing my nose helped. But this feels worse.

Just checking - are those suppositories available over the counter?

Thanks for all the fast answers!

earlyriser Mon 30-May-16 21:37:21

Try blowing up a balloon (or just pretend if you don't have one at hand). The blowing our action is meant to help. Failing that, coffee and a cigarette shock

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